MET CASTOFF DISPOSES OF SMELLY SOX

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By Rex O’Rourke

LONDON, ENGLAND – With apologies to Jimmy Page and Robert Plant, it’s time for another song parody from Rex (with a little inspiration from Angry Ward) and then, of course, my hot off the griddle NFL picks! Actually, the way Mr. Plant mumbles, these may be the original lyrics… I don’t know!

Oh let the sun beat down upon Fenway, stars to fill my dream
I am a fan, aware of time and place, to be where I have been
To slay the demons of hardball’s grace, of Yaz, of Rice, unseen
Of recent days for which they win and taste, Angels now wish and dream

Walk and speak from speed of lilting grace, whose sounds caress my ear
But Varitek I heard could not relate, bags are swiped with ease
Oh, no.

Oh, they’ll be flying… Victor, there ain’t no denyin’
They’ll be flying, despite your tryin’, no denyin’

Nation bleeds, turns to brown, as the Chone burns the ground
As my eyes fill with sand, as the tag never lands
Trying to find, trying to find ’07 again.

Oh, pennant race without a trace, Teixiera’s Autumn dream
Heed the path of wild card’s place, below Derek’s team
My Shangri-La, beantown in June, you shant return again
Sure as the rust of Lowell and Drew, they’re losing to Kazmir!

’04, ’07 wins, fill your sails, reeking of stale beers
With no provision but an aged DH, along the straits of fear
Ohh.

The Angels on, the Angels on their way, yeah
Yankees see, Yankees see the way, L.A., yeah

Ooh, yeah-yeah, ooh yeah-yeah, Sox go down
Ooh yeah-yeah, ooh yeah-yeah, Sox go down, so down
Ooh, The Babe, oooh, The Babe, 86 more years

As for this week, in the Prognostication Department, it is slim pickings, my friends; not to be confused with Slim Pickens, that is.

There are so many bad games this week, it’s as if the NFL decided during a scheduling meeting that Week 5 ratings will lag behind MLB’s Division Series weekend, so why bother with any good games. Bills/Browns, Giants/Raiders, are you kidding me? Oh well, gun to my head, if I had to pick three, they’d be The CHIEFS (+8.5) over the Cowboys, The Vikings (-10) over The RAMS, and the Patriots (-3) over the BRONCOS. At 11-1 this is probably the week I come down to earth, so caveat emptor to all gamblers out in Mattville.

Until next week,
Rex

P.S. Back in August of ’08 I did a song parody of Stairway To Heaven and I got a response from an MTM regular stating that they were more of a Kashmir fan. Since that post occurred before the site upgrade, I have no way of knowing who that person was. This one goes out to you!

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