BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR

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by Dr. Diz

FORT WORTH, TEXAS – Hoisting a few at Pop’s Safari bar the other night with some ol’ buds including a visiting denizen of the Gotham City burbs (and native Canuck) who is down here on a high finance bombing mission, and we got to talkin’ politics and sports and such with the various characters and miscreants who habituate the joint. The overriding theme/cliche quickly took shape: Be Careful What You Ask For! Here are some:

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One of the regulars said: “Gosh, I’m missin’ George Bush”. This surprised us, since this guy is a classic Hill Country Liberal, who generally leans a little to the left of Che Guevara on most issues (other than gun ownership and the death penalty, which all consider just plain old common sense in these here parts). But what he said was interesting: ”Well, at least with Bush I could piss and moan… Now I just have to keep my big ol’ yap shut”. (Some people think Obama’s a bit stiff…)

Folks up North who don’t know college football probably don’t recognize the name, but Coach Dennis Franchione also comes to mind. Coach Fran took TCU, turned the program around, and then left for the bright lights and big money of a major college program.

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Fast forward ten years. His replacement, Gary Patterson, has taken TCU to 9 bowls in 10 years, four top 20 and two top 10 finishes, a BCS bowl and, oh yeah, is getting paid in the top 10%. Franchione? He had a couple of years at ‘Bama and a couple of years at big-time Texas A&M. But he’s been unemployed for three years since they ran him out of there on a rail.

So maybe it’s time to take stock of some of the things that various sporting fans are asking for.

Futbol fans, supported wholeheartedly by the New York Times, are always wishing that the sport would get adopted by the American mainstream. Apparently, if we adopt the game we’ll get to be more Euro or somthin’, go metric, have symbols for all our road signs, and sing kumbaya in a big, fat happy love fest of sportsmanship and brotherhood.

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    His first words were “piss off, mate…”

What will really happen if the U.S. gets into futbol big time? We’ll take it over in mind, body and spirit, using our cultural and money to pretty much move all the really good teams to the U.S. Don’t believe me? Just ask Canadian hockey fans from places like Winnipeg et Quebec how they like watching those warm weather American teams lace up the skates.

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A lot of Met fans seem to want to get rid of Omar Minaya as their GM. And after last years debacle of a season, it might seem justified. But the Mets had more injuries last year than the Frogs at Verdun and Minaya has done a pretty good job of not tradin’ away the farm system to satisfy the immediate gratification of his oh-so-patient fan base. And if you want to take a look at what happens when you trade the farm, just take a three hour ride down the pike to Baltimore. Maybe Mets fans should stick with the devil they know.

Some female rugby players wish that people could be more sensitive, more New Age and more supportive of The Movement. I had to read the last part of R2’s comment last Thursday twice, since at first I figured she ran out of Ex-Lax.

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    The movement…The movement…
    Gotta git with The Movement!
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Apparently, not singing the praises of female athletics or admiring the fact that a lot of them are smokin’ like salmon is way bad, politically incorrect and will get you sent to the Principal’s Office for punishment… No, you may not hum Hot For Teacher before while your punishment is administered. Nor may you enjoy the punishment. Anyway, methinks that in addition to the overreaction to Angry Ward’s column, this is just plain ol’ wrong. Telling female athletes that watching them play basketball, rugby, or most any other sport is just as much fun as watching the males play, is just a big lie.

And as far as admiring the female form, there are some societies where that’s not considered – Shall we say, Kosher? But I’m not too sure you’d want to live there as a female. But hey, maybe a burka would empower ya.

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I’m showin’ some ankle, and Rockin The Casbah

So, like the good citizens of the District of Columbia who begged and pleaded for a baseball team and got The Nats…
Be Careful What You Ask For!

Angry Ward, tomorrow.

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About the Author ()

Doc Diz resides in Fort Worth, Texas for the past 15 years. When not playing old boys rugby or skiing, he is known for sampling Maker's Mark for its medicinal qualities. A native of Connecticut, the Doc has managed to move around enough to have lived in all four US time zones, which has allowed him to get a little perspective from west of the Hudson where guns, drilling for oil and gas and Big Gulp soda pops are still legal.

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