BURNETTOLOGY AND A-RODS POKER FACE

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Lavallette, NJ – Wednesday night the Yankees were all over the White Sox’s Gavin Floyd, torching the righty for ten runs in 2.1 innings. By the time the White Sox were batting in the third, the Bombers had 13 runs on the board. One would think that a 13 run lead would be safe. And usually that would be the case. But on Wednesday night, the Yanks had to deal with the AJ factor.

Masters of Burnettology will tell you that during any given game, AJ Burnett will give up more runs than his team has scored for him. The rate at which he gives up these runs depends mainly on how many runs his team has scored (the more runs the Yankees score, the more runs AJ gives up) and how early in the game his team scores those runs (the earlier the Yankees score, the sooner Burnett blows the lead). More or less, the formula usually works out to a blown lead by the end of the 6th inning.

Girardi is a master of Burnettology

Wednesday night was no different. The Yankees spotted Burnett a 13-1 lead and AJ conspired to give up six more runs before he could record the second out in the fifth inning. Thankfully for the Yankees, Joe Girardi is proficient in Bunrettology and usually knows when to take out the enigmatic righty. Girardi took Burnett out after 4.1 innings and before the Yankees were behind on the scoreboard. The end result being the Yankees won and AJ Burnett got a No-Decision in a game where his team scored 13 runs in the first three innings.

Another enigmatic Yankee, Alex Rodriguez, has been in the news lately. Word has it that A-Rod has been organizing, or at least taking part in coke-fueled, debaucherous high limit poker games with A-list celebrities. Nights filled with drugs, fisticuffs, shakedowns of those who cant pay their debts and A-Rod in the middle of all of it.  Now this is really only news because it involves Alex Rodriguez. And I must say that when you’re as big an asshole as A-rod is, the media isn’t going to sweep these stories under the carpet.

A-Rod will have his meeting with the Commish. He will get a stern talking-to, complete with wagging index finger. And he will escape any punishment. No one really cares about the poker.  We don’t need any more reasons to dislike Alex Rodriguez.

Its freakin Shark Week. Which brings many questions to mind. Do sharks know we dedicate a week to them every summer? Do sharks have a human week where they celebrate biting beach goers and surfers? Why doesn’t ESPN Classic show some of Greg Norman’s best wins during shark week? How many years in a row can the San Jose Sharks choke in the playoffs? Did The Manny really jump the shark? Some of these questions may never be answered.

I know that this column has jumped the shark because I’m past my word limit. I’m out of time for now. And I’m off to the beach to see if shark week keeps the hordes of city slickers away from New Jersey’s coastal waters.

A true shark, the Public Professor with a whale of a column tomorrow…

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Different Matt is our cunning Cornell grad/rugby player. "Diff" joined us just after the switch from being "Mets only" to an all-sports stop. He's a Yankee fan; thus he was "different." Aside from the Yanks, he's a diehard NY Giants, NY Rangers and NY Knicks fan. He also likes long walks on the beach and cappuccinos and nearly died in Las Vegas.

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