AFC: Neck & Neck For Manning


Lori Levine

SOUTH BEACH, MIAMI – Right as I am about to make fun of Dancing with the Stars new cast again, the Colts have to go and release Peyton Manning. As if I wasn’t already crying when the DOW lost over 200 points on Tuesday! Whereas, Eli is almost robotic, Peyton wears his heart on his sleeve, and it almost makes it impossible for me to write any jokes about him…almost. I will say that Petyon’s press conference depressed me more than thinking of Snooki as a mother, it depressed me almost as much as the thought that Snooki will be a grandmother in about 12 years.

Everyone is wondering where Peyton will end up. It will most likely be an AFC team; the Jets or the Dolphins. I cannot see someone with so much class being coached by someone like Rex “The Best Team in NY” Ryan, who makes comments more vulgar than Kirk Cameron. Although, I must admit, the thought of Manning and Jets tight end, Dustin Keller, teaming up is exciting.

The Dolphins on the other hand, have running-back, Reggie Bush. He dated a Kardashian, so he is used to catching things; and would work well with Peyton. And, new coach, Joe Philbin, is known for working a tight offense. Also, is it any coincidence that I am in Miami, and Peyton is being wooed by Dolphins owner, Stephen Ross? Exactly.

There are other teams in desperate need of a QB, too. John Elway has less faith in Tim Tebow as the Broncos starter than the NBA officials have in the Dallas Mavericks. And, as someone who respects a career QB, Elway is the VP of football operations for the Broncos, and can make those decisions. There’s also talks of him going to the Jaguars. But, that team has less talent than a farm team. A photo of Peyton Manning in a Jacksonville jersey may sell for less than the tens of dollars that the photo of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo’s child will bring in.

Picking a new team will definitely be a pain in the neck for Manning. Good thing he’s been dealing with that for the last year. So, only time will tell but the exclusive on where Peyton ends up may have a larger bounty than the Saints do on injuring opponents.

Ol' Mitt

I’m guessing we will find out in the next few weeks, just as the GOP screws over Romney and Santorum, and puts Jeb Bush into the game (this is my guess too).

Different Matt is back tomorrow with…

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About the Author ()

Lori Levine is one of those people who should always be in a bikini. Don't be fooled by the fact that Howard Stern voted her his Hottest Fan, though. Her "degenerate dad" raised her at the track in New Jersey and watching the Yankees, NY Giants, NY Rangers and Knicks. She knows sports better than 99.9% of us and she's a wise-ass with the brain to make it all work.

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