ST. LOUIS, MO – Beneath the friendly friendly Stepford wifey Fantasy Football Work League that all of you are in there is always a guy in the office that either A) has a bookie, B) is a bookie or C) knows where to find one because he bets “occasionally.”
In my office, there are at least three of us and occasionally we compare handicaps and share bits of our picks of who we think is hot and why. Since I don’t bet on basketball and I lost the farm on the NLCS, I considered my gambling days for 2012 were over then my buddy in the office BLEW MY MIND! I overheard him say he felt really good about the C-note he placed on President Obama when he was only laying 145….. Wait a second?! You can place a bet…. On the outcome of the leadership of the free world?! Where have I been all these years!!! I missed out on placing a bet on a recount. I missed out on betting on the Ketchup guy to cover the spread. I missed out on betting against Obama!
But one door opens when another closes, right? And , now I am so excited that I think it’s necessary to think ahead and give some odds on the 2016 presidential election:
Chris Christie 30 to 1: What is better for the Republican Party that to have a guy run from a traditionally Blue State that elected a Red Leader? Having a guy run from a bleu state that managed to pull off some very conservative agenda’s while in office in that state.
J.C. Watts 100 to 1: So the Democrats elected a half-black guy? Why don’t the republicans fire back with a black man from Oklahoma that owns a Heisman Trophy? I mean if Craig James (epic douche) can run in Texas then surely the rest of the country can get behind J.C..
Newt Gengrich: 1000 to 1: He will try and he will not win but give him an “A” for effort. Besides, if the Republicans win he will be calling the shots anyways.
Hillary Clinton 10 to 1: Her husband got elected in Arkansas and she got elected in New York. Together, that campaign will be very tough to beat…off. In all reality many marriages stay together for the kids. Does that mean that the Clinton’s thing is that we are all their children?
Rahm Emmanuel 56 to 1: As some may remember getting elected in Illinois is not very hard. All you need is a lot of money and Rod Blagojevich’s phone number. I think Blago makes a run as Rahm’s campaign manager via federal prison and pulls of an upset.
Al Sharpton 5452940582 to 1: Like Newt, he will try and he will not win. The only difference is that Al will not do so with any semblance of grace, no matter how much he proselytizes about it.
Michelle Obama 2.5 to 1: What could be better than 4 more years of Obama? For fear of alienating some of you, I won’t expand here. We need to hold on to the gaggle of you that read this site. Actually, maybe Obama is just what this site needs. We could get some pork barrel financing to encourage you five to have some children and expand the readership. That would probably keep the writers going as well. Lord knows, a government check would do me a lot better than what this site pays.
Last but certainly not least, my vote for President of the United States: Ron Paul: Odds he is alive for the 2016 election: 5 to 1. Odds he wins in 2016: 25 to 1. For those of you out there that consider yourself to be socially liberal and fiscally conservative; do yourself a favor and stop voting for agendas you don’t wholly agree with and find a candidate that more closely suits what you believe. For me this is Ron Paul. As long as we exist under a two-party system wherein myriads of lost souls woefully compromise at the ballot box and complain about the outcome, we will surely never grow as a country.
In 2016, don’t vote for someone simply because they are the lesser evil. Vote for someone that excites you, someone that you truly believe is the best person for the job. Then maybe someday some intelligible change will occur in Washington. Until then we will vote for “change” only to be left indelibly disappointed as a result of our own cowardice to enact change ourselves.
Oh, and the Mets ate Jason Bay’s contract.
Cookie’s Corner tomorrow… Unless the dog eats her homework… again.
Filed in: Cam James