Cookie’s Corner: Celebrities Brawling; Halle Berry, Lindsay Lohan & David Justice

22 Comments

NEW YORK, NY – This week the press has been RIPE with some really juicy, knock-down, drag out celeb fun.  Here’s my best shot at rounding it up:

Camacho – Not No Surprise:  Let me start by saying I feel badly for Macho Camacho getting shot in the head.  That’s gotta hurt and be a pretty suckie way to die.  However, ever notice how many boxers end up retiring, make awful decisions financially, get into drugs and die in a really terrible way?  You can add wrestlers to that mix… and a handful of football players.

I could say something about how many of these guys are plucked from the tough neighborhoods where they had to scrap to survive.  But after surviving the grip of drugs and gangs, they only to fall back full circle to it.   Or, I could point to how having your brain battered again and again as a means of income will eventually reap terrible consequence.  Instead of saying all that, though, I’ll say this: no one liked Muhammed Aliwith all the hate, racial slurs and venom he spewed – when he was an able-bodied champ.  Now that he’s suffering a terrible disease… different story. I know… mixed bag. Go punch it in the comment area kids.

Berry and The Battering Rams: Apologies to fans of infamous crack-smoking, D.C.  Mayor Marion Barry or Grote2DMax; this has nothing to do with the man or the football team.  This has to do with what was my favorite story this week –  until Thursday morning, when all that changed.   Ex -David Justice punching bag, Halle Berry, had herself QUITE a Thanksgiving.  Berry’s ex-beau and baby Daddy, French model Gabriel Aubry got into a fight, errrr…. became the human punching bag of Berry’s current fiance, Olivier Martinez, who is also French.  What’s up with the Francophilia, Halle?  The entire week has been ripe with speculation of who started, who was the aggressor, who said what, etc.  Now the apparent take is that the fight was “mutual combat and that no charges will be filed. While I don’t care WHO started it, there are two things I know:
ONE: I’m GLAD Halle Berry finally didn’t catch any punches, though I am sure she was wincing for memories of her marriage to Dave Justice.  
TWO: If you take a look at Gabriel Aubry’s face,  the concept there was any “mutual combat” going on is LAUGHABLE.

Team Lindsay.  I am now its captain I. LOVE. LINDSAY. LOHAN.  As I came up with the idea for this post, it centered around the Berry Brawl and I thought, “I don’t have enough material here even with Camacho and rehashing how I love revisiting the Tawny Kitaen Kicks Chuck Finley’s Ass story.” I felt kind of cheap doing it.  But like an angel… HERE COMES LINDSAY to save me!  I LOVE this GIRL!!!  She’s got enough money to smack up Porsches left and right without a care, she’s twenty-something and looks older than me, she’s got a GREAT rack which she tends to display in court as if to say “F*ck you [not David] Justice!  You ain’t BLIND.  Look at THESE!” AND… she decks other chicks.  (GIRL-FIGHT!)

In the wee-hours of Thursday AM, LiLo got arrested at an NYC nightclub for getting into an altercation with… another woman.  Apparently the two had exchanged words all evening and both had returned to their seats, but then LiLo thought better of it, walked over to the other woman and summarily decked her in the face.  LiLo is still on probation for stealing jewelry and is also in hot water in LA for the car smack-ups and failing drug tests while on probation. Who is better than this girl – from an entertaining train-wreck perspective? No one.  Team LindsayCaptain Cookie at your service. And I’ve got a great left hook.

And with that… I’m starting to work the body of my weekend.   Come back tomorrow for Dr. Diz.

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Cookie, like 7 fifths of the MTM staff, was brought in by The Franchise (Angry Ward). They met sitting near each other at a NY Rangers game. She's our Angelina Jolie in "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" - by day the fetching wife and young mother of two little boys; by night the hot, sports fanatic that mixes in triathlons and X-Treme sports with her love for the Yankees, Brooklyn Nets, NY Rangers and... Denver Broncos. She is, like most of the rotation, more than a bit sassy, bakes like nobody's business and is one smart... Cookie. She too, needs to be in a bikini as often as possible.
  • http://twitter.com/Cookies_Corner Cookies Corner

    I’d also like to say that the local rags reminded me that Halle Berry was also married to a one Eric Benet (if not French.. French SOUNDING). If memory serves me correctly… she divorced this guy once it was revealed he was a ‘sex addict’ and banging everything that moved. Berry’s got bad taste in men.

    • Cam_James

      If he was banging everything that moved that means she wasn’t moving. No one likes a dead fish in the sack.

      • http://twitter.com/Cookies_Corner Cookies Corner

        True dat Cam. But here’s another take on that. If the chick you’re with is playing ‘dead fish’ in the sack… there might be a reason. (Oh wait.. that might just pertain to the married people. Never mind.)

        • Cam_James

          Cookie please…. no woman is a dead fish with me. I bring out their wild side.

          • http://twitter.com/Cookies_Corner Cookies Corner

            Perhaps Cam. And i’ll leave it at that and let some of the married men chime in. (I think WCC and Angry have both said things along the lines of taking a few minutes to be merciful and that kinda stuff.)

    • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

      We’ve channeled all our addictions into beer and sports. In that order. So far, we’ve avoided being imprisoned or getting put off from cheering by jeering fans!

  • Big Fat Toad

    It looks like Chuck Finley is coming out of her box.

  • You Suck

    Halle Berry must be one major pain in the ass. All these guys can’t be nuts.

  • vinny from brooklyn

    are the mets going to keep wright and dickey?

  • Tall Matt

    Mets and David Wright agree to a 7 year $122 million dollar contract. Source is Newsday.
    That is in addition to the $16 million he is owed for 2013. Nice job Mets and Wright. He probably could have gotten more elsewhere.

    • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

      If they are dropping that money on him, they must keep Dickey. Otherwise, Wright deal is Wrong deal for Davey.

      • Johnny Rox

        Congrats to the Mets, I like that kid Wright! Hopefully they saved some money for R.A. Dickey! Or not! Rumor is they’re gonna use him as bait to get a couple of quality pitchers.

        J..,

  • Diff

    I’m taking Lindsay Lohan in the death pool next year. It seems to be the only way this self destructive streak is going to end.

    • http://twitter.com/Cookies_Corner Cookies Corner

      Oh Diff. I sure hope not. And you know I was captain of Team Diff first…. LiLo will always be second string.

  • Sam’s-A-Fan

    This Puerto Rican guy I work with was on a flight down to PR last Wednesday with a bunch of Camacho family members (he didn’t realize this until his wife pointed out all the limos picking them up at the aero puerto), and being that my buddy is petrified of flying he was self-medicated with a valium and about four rum drinks when he got into a conversation with an older lady about Macho. My buddy apparently started out with, he was a great champion in his time, but…and then he went into a rambling litany of all of his major and minor frog-ups. Once they got out of the air port, in a hurry mind you, my buddy’s wife pointed out to him that all of the people who had been sitting around them were Camacho family members, and that is why she hustled her altered husband out of there right quick.

  • http://twitter.com/CheesyBruin Cheesy Bruin

    There also was a “domestic disturbance” between Hope Solo and her ex-NFL TE Jerramy Stevens. It’s got to be hard on a guy who had oodles of potential when his wife is the one with the better professional career.

  • WestCoastCraig

    Halle Berry could kick Lohan’s ass, she’s bound to have picked up more pointers in the art. No Liz and Dick mention, Cookie, or are you waiting for The Canyons as much as I am? (I’m guessing James Deen needs no introduction for you)…

    http://youtu.be/VPowakhqVVQ

    • http://twitter.com/Cookies_Corner Cookies Corner

      WCC!! I had no idea about ‘The Canyons!’ If it’s not a trailer that’s attached to ‘Wreck It Ralph’ (which I loved) or another kids’ movie.. i’ve got no f*ckin’ clue. Thank you for keeping me in the know. I would LOVE to see this movie. I quite like that James Deen is a ‘HUGE’ talent.

      • WestCoastCraig

        Believe it or not, it’s Paul Schrader directing a Brett Easton Ellis script!

  • http://ThePublicProfessor.com The Public Professor

    I don’t mind a good beating once in a while

  • Johnny Rox

    Gabriel Aubrey looks like he got into a fight with a boxer!
    Oh, HE DID GET INTO A FIGHT WITH A BOXER!!!

    That was DUMB!
    (Note to self: never start a fight with a boxer)

    Yeah, Oliver Martinez’s father was a sorta famous boxer in France. Of Spanish/Morrocan decent. He taught his boy to protect himself at all times, and hook off the jab! Seems like it worked!

    J…

  • http://twitter.com/JunoirBlaber Junoir Blaber

    You got knocked the Frack out!!

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