Grote’s Gripes: Replacing Fireman Ed

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I’m Outta Here: Replacing Fireman Ed

NEW YORK, NY - The New York Jets self proclaimed biggest fan, Ed Anzalone, took to the media yesterday to declare his days of leading Jet chants at the games were O-V-E-RFireman Ed never made it to the third quarter of the Thanksgiving Thrashing the Patriots laid on his J-E-T-S.  He claimed he left at halftime for the second time in a row because he couldn’t take all the negative attacks his fellow fans bestowed upon him for wearing a Mark Sanchez jersey this year.  Jet fans turning ugly during a night game?  Who could have predicted that?  Child services should be called every time a child under 12 is allowed to attend Jet game. Michael Vick’s dog fights attract a more civilized crowd than most Jet games. I say this knowing and respecting a number of Jet fans, but as a whole the bunch is just not very pleasant to be around. For many, there is no Replacing Fireman Ed

I personally never was a fan of Fireman Ed.  He always seemed to think of himself as more important than everyone else attending the game.  Fans who get notoriety for being fans are usually insufferable people to begin with or turn into asses after they get some notoriety.  I’m not sure where he lies but he certainly has been insufferable in every interview I’ve ever seen with him.

Psy already rocks the Gang Green Jacket.

Now that I have pissed all of you Jet fans off, I offer an olive branch.  I will save your beloved chant by giving you a few candidates to take Fireman Ed’s place at the games to lead the J-E-T-S chant.

Psy – What the Jets really need is a guy who can add a little Gangnam Style in order to take this J-E-T-S thing to the next level.  Imagine 80,000 drunken idiots doing a creative dance along with their cute little chant?  Gang Green Style could be his big follow up hit.  He could also perform a stadium wedding for 20,000 couples at halftime in honor of his fellow countryman Reverend Sun Myung Moon of the Unification Church.

Billy’s done blackface before. Why not Greenface?

Billy Crystal - Yankee fans don’t want him.  Met fans don’t want him.  The Jet organization has been a joke for the past 25 years so you might as well have a washed up comedian take over.  Think of the possible spins he can put on the chant, like a Sammy Davis Jr. style “J-E-T-S, and I mean that, man” done in blackface.  Plus, he’s got enough chutzpah to stand up to the meanies who drove Ed away.

Dancing Larry – The Rangers are locked out, so maybe Dancing Larry can take his numerous talents across the Hudson River for the final month of the season. Everyone thinks Larry is just a one dimensional dancer but they are wrong. Dead wrong. He’s been practicing chants in his mother’s basement for 15 years now and she feels he is ready for the big stage. Hey Jet fans, Strike It Up.

Stay tuned tomorrow for the ultimate song and dance man, Angry Ward.

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  • Richard Todd

    Here’s Ed’s new chant: P-U-S-S-Y! That’s exactly what he is, big tough fireman taking his Dirty Sanchez jersey and going home. Please, Jet fans, do not beg this douche bag to come back. Give him the finger any time you see him.

    • OregonPete23

      That’s what I thought! S-I-S-S-Y, Ed, Ed, Ed!

    • http://twitter.com/JunoirBlaber Junoir Blaber

      You stay classy RIchie!!

  • Pepper My Johnson

    This is good. How about Jason Bay? It would be the perfect way for him to do something good in NY during the off-season before he becomes an all-star in Cleveland.

    • Grote2Dmax

      He’s Canadian what does he know about football?

  • http://twitter.com/CheesyBruin Cheesy Bruin

    Why would any human being want to be synonymous of a sports team’s fan base in the first place? And for a shitty team, no less? Hate to say it but Ed brought it upon himself.
    Can we get Dancin’/Homo Larry on Dancing With The Stars?

    • Grote2Dmax

      Larry on DWTS would be fantastic. Let’s start a campaign.

  • http://twitter.com/Cookies_Corner Cookies Corner

    I can’t believe there is SO little going on in NY sports that Fireman Ed resigning is ‘news.’

    I agree Grote that (FILL-IN-THE-BLANK) Larry would be the perfect replacement for Fireman Ed. And.. I’m really thrilled to see that after some 18+ years since I first saw him at a Rangers’ game… he’s got no new dance moves.

    • http://twitter.com/JunoirBlaber Junoir Blaber

      Larry’s Dance moves are no worse than the first Decade under Sather. Edmonton East my ass!!

    • Grote2Dmax

      Ah yes Cookie and her Ranger games.

    • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

      Cookie! This is godd*mn news! You are so jaded!

  • Cam_James

    My theory is that he finally wasn’t able to afford jets season seats on a fireman salary and this is his cop out to giving up his seats.

    • Grote2Dmax

      He’s still going but will be Average Ed now, or so he says.

  • AngryWard

    Fireman Ed being turned on by the fans he’s been trying to incite is absolutely sublime. This would be the perfect time for some random Jets fan (Junoir Blaber, maybe) to buy a Jets jersey, put the name Fireman Ed on the back, and just take his place. Can you imagine the looks on all of those drunken bigot Jets fans faces when Junoir rips off his jersey? Can we please try to make this happen?

    • http://twitter.com/JunoirBlaber Junoir Blaber

      I am in, I have a great health plan through my job. I just need the Jersey and the Tickets!!

    • Grote2Dmax

      The Greatest No-Show on Earth.

  • Ronald Reagan

    Danny Bonaducci would be good for this. Or Newt Gingrich… but only if Psy is not available. He is clearly the best choice.

  • http://ThePublicProfessor.com The Public Professor

    It’s about time “Dancin’” Larry extended his franchise.

  • AngryWard

    Either it’s snowing out or the guy on the sixth floor of my building’s dandruff is back with a vengeance.

  • Dude

    short matt would be a fine replacement for ed. he is well versed in altercations in the stands and i’m sure he could find a green jacket to wear.

  • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

    Imagine some idiot(s) dressing up in a team’s colors and trying to get fans excited about a sh*tty team?! Can you say “Loser(s)???” That aside, this is a perfect post; not only is it timely and funny, but the possibilities it presents are endless. But Ed had his brother to “shoulder” the load, so we’re offering some pairings:

    Bobby Valentine & Mad Dog Russo: Russo on the bottom. How soon before Bobby starts punching Russo in the face for not hoisting him high enough? “I was an emperor in f*ckin’ Japan!”

    Alonzo Mourning & Jeff Van Gundy: Coach Van Gundy would be on the bottom, of course. He’s had experience holding Zo’s legs.

    Ed’s Brother & Jim Belushi: Brother Anzalone finally gets to climb up on another man! And who better to wrap his legs around the head of than Jimmy Belushi??? Jim can teach him the trick of succeeding with no talent, solely because people long for your brother.

    And finally, our personal fave…

    Kate Upton & Short Matt: Our man Short Matt takes one for the team with Kate on top. The twist (literally & figuratively) is that Miss Upton will face the fans behind them, while Short Matt faces the field despite Kate’s bikini blocking his view. That way this “fun” duo will cover all the bases… or at least 2nd & 3rd.

    Kate can do this on Short Matt’s sturdy shoulders:
    http://youtu.be/fShmrIezcSM
    *Caution, this video & the very thought of Short Matt experiencing anything remotely close to it will incense certain viewers – like Angry Ward.

    • DannyBax

      You wish, Mccarthy. But great pick with Alonzo and Van Gundy. But it might be easier to have the two Van Gundys.

  • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

    If we were given a buck for every time we were called bad words (d*cks, f*ggots, c*nts, retarded bald f*ucks) or bombarded with beer or objects – like batteries – we’d be able to pay ourselves and the entire MTM Staff handsomely. Good golly, Ed. Man up.

  • Diff

    It does seem pretty soft of Fireman Ed to give up because he’s getting a little shtick for the Sanchez jersey. Not that I care in the least.

    “Dancin” Larry would be a great replacement for Ed. Junoir would also be good if he dyed his chest hair green and white.

    The Broklynettes beat the Knicks last night. Anybody care?

    I’m callin it. There’s not going to be an NHL season. See you next October hopefully.

    • Dude

      yeah i do… that game made me realize i hate brook lopez. i agree with you diff, no nhl this year. gary bettman needs to placed in the stockade in any canadian city until it is settled

      • butch gorings nostrils

        Please don’t say that there won’t be a season. That would… stink.

        • Dude

          it will and does stink. but unless hockey fans get to punch bettman in the nose until he agrees to a deal it won’t happen. the owners “committee” consists of bettman and teams that are already losing money. the rangers, flyers, maple leafs, red wings, etc have NO SAY. they’d settle in a minute. he thinks the fans will come back regardless so doesn’t care. he is the cancer and with him steering the ship its sinking. sorry butch

  • Cam_James

    Today is so infuriating i want to punch barbara streisand so hard in the face her nose ends up crooked in the other direction….

  • Tall Matt

    See ya later Fireman Ed. People who dress up in these kinda get ups should be barred from sporting events to begin with. Let the folks enjoy the game. If it’s good, they don’t need wingnuts to get them into a good frenzy.

    • Grote2Dmax

      Just like the Ram Rules.

  • WestCoastCraig

    Totally right about fans who start thinking they’re more important than the game and everyone else. Out here there was the guy who did the Don’t Stop Believin’ pantomime at Dodger games who threw a fit when he wanted better seats, or Clipper Darryl who had to cease and desist because he wanted to be paid for personal appearances in his Clipper get-up (without sanction from the team). In both cases, free tickets from the organizations weren’t enough for them.

    • Grote2Dmax

      I kinda liked the LA guys who wore the watermelons on their heads at Ram games though. That took some creativity.

      • AngryWard

        And let’s not forget about Pom Pom Mom’s watermelons.

  • Sean

    Re: Support NY Jetman as the new face of the NY Jets Fan
    Base

    To All Jets Fans and Team Representatives,

    First off, a word of thanks to Fireman Ed, who has
    passionately led the Gang Green Faithful for many years – your enthusiasm,
    charisma and dedication to the team has been unparalleled and those who bleed
    green know you have been a true fan. Those who have made it difficult for you
    to attend games wearing your teams QB jersey (irrespective of his play on the
    field) should be ashamed of themselves.

    Speaking of those who bleed green, I have been fortunate
    enough to have gotten to know a true diehard fan over the past couple of
    seasons who I believe would be the perfect man for the job to take over Fireman
    Ed’s responsibilities – his name is Rob aka NY Jetman.

    NY Jetman has been faithfully driving to each Jets home game
    FROM NEW HAMPSHIRE as a sole season ticket holder for the past 7 seasons and
    through a friends seasons tickets since his early 20’s. He holds an open
    tailgate at L5 near the racetrack where he welcomes all fans and displays his
    loyalty to the NY Jets, from his attire to his DJing (everything from
    Springsteen to Eminem and yes there is some Gangham Style mixed in this year
    for the KPOP fans) to his hourly J-E-T-S chants on the mic. NY Jetman has not
    lost the faith as this season has posed its series of rollercoaster emotions
    and challenges for the fan base.

    But here is the real reason NY Jetman should be the next in
    line in section 140 to lead the fan base in J-E-T-S chants… he is a great
    person and someone the team sorely needs to improve its “circus” image in the
    newspapers the past few seasons since Rex came to town. Jetman selflessly drove
    down from New Hampshire post Hurricane Sandy to deliver a multitude of gallon
    canisters of gasoline and generators to his friends and neighbors in and around
    Toms River, NJ when supplies were at a shortage. He is the first in line on a
    weekly basis to get into the Metlife lots, often lining up at 5:30am on Sunday
    game days – DEDICATION. He stands by the side of the road during tailgates and
    hands out green and white beads, putting smiles on the faces of even the most
    dour Jets fans this season. He is the type of person this franchise needs to
    reinvigorate the fan base and refresh the image of the team post Fireman Ed.

    Please join me in supporting NY Jetman to lead the fan base
    through the rest of this season and beyond and join us this Sunday @ L5 – lets
    make it the biggest tailgate of the season and take to the stands to support
    our team.

    Cheers,

    SPL

    Jetmans Facebook Group – https://www.facebook.com/groups/NYJetman/

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