Turkey’s Done: Why We Should Be Thankful For NFL Turkey Day


Happy NFL Turkey Day!

Lori & RG III

HOBOKEN, NJFootball and Thanksgiving go together like Lindsay Lohan and Oxycontin. And when I think of my favorite NFL Turkey Day game, it’s definitely the 1993 Dallas/Miami game.

First, my mother decided to make 2 smaller turkeys, rather than one large one. That decision was our first touchdown. Second, almost any game that Dallas loses, is one of my favorites. But this one especially stands out because they were expected to win this home game, plus it snowed in Dallas that day. What’s better is that the Cowboys blocked a field goal attempt that would have given Miami the game. The blocked kick had Dallas fans in a frenzy, cheering as if Rick Perry remembered all 3 Federal Government agencies that he would like to eliminate. But Miami ended up recovering a fumble, got that field goal right and won the game.Curious, but with the strategic style the Dolphins played that day one would never know that there are people in Miami who take 3 days to count votes every 4 years.

AnywayAs I write this there are 96 games left in the regular NFL season. It’s no secret that it’s been a tough few weeks with this Sandy business, and I missed a good 2 weeks of games because the FEMA trucks weren’t playing them. It seems like the only good news right now is if you’re an electrician in Hudson County, NJ, a buffet owner in a town that Christina Aguilera is visiting, or News Corp share holder… their deal through the Yes Network is valued at $3.4 billion.

From the loss of our Hoboken Path train, to the loss of electricity (making my hair resemble Andrew Bynum’s), to Brody’s daughter getting unbelievably irritating on Homeland, to the ex-football player I hate most [Tiki Barber] being in town for a photo-op at the Boys & Girls Club – things were bad. Even Mitt Romney had a hair out of place. And then there were the 2 Giants losses in a row! I was actually secretly happy they had a bye week, so they wouldn’t have a potential third loss in 3 weeks. This feeling/logic is similar to how I felt almost thankful that the flooding of my apartment kept looters away. A Pyhrric victory?

So, as I pray for upsets tomorrow similar to that 1993 game, let’s be thankful that they added the third game to the Thanksgiving lineup in 2006. Putting football on from 12:30 to 11 pm thus protects us from speaking on any real issues with our loved ones on this day… my favorite holiday.

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About the Author ()

Lori Levine is one of those people who should always be in a bikini. Don't be fooled by the fact that Howard Stern voted her his Hottest Fan, though. Her "degenerate dad" raised her at the track in New Jersey and watching the Yankees, NY Giants, NY Rangers and Knicks. She knows sports better than 99.9% of us and she's a wise-ass with the brain to make it all work.
  • WestCoastCraig

    Is that a flak jacket RG the 3rd is wearing, or is he just happy to see you?

    • Lori Levine

      happy to see me

  • Tall Matt

    Happy FriendsGiving Meet the Matts family. Lori tying in tired GOP politicians was inspiring. Nothing better than Cowboy fans let down.

    • Cam_James

      Tall Matt its 2012. Get with the lingo. A cowboys let down is simply called a Romo. Ill use it in a sentence, “We got romoed when matt stuck us with the bar tab”

    • yimclancy

      Let the train ride begin! Just finished my coffee,OJ and bacon sandwich…Mmmm

      Now for a li’l break then football and my precious chicken….pies lined up so far are pecan,pumpkin,coconut custard and something chocolate plus brownies….wine stacked on table and oh yeah—they’re cooking that turkey for the rest of them

      Game 1–Go Houston!

  • Cam_James

    Also don’t forget to read the drivel i produced!

  • http://twitter.com/DeclanYeats Declan Yeats

    Happy T-Day to all you Yanks!

  • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

    Happy Thanksgiving… Lori, you never cease to amaze! RG3, floods, politics, football… and you hate the Cowboys. We’re Thankful for you!

  • http://twitter.com/CheesyBruin Cheesy Bruin

    Hey Lori, that hot body of yours keeps any negative comments about the Cowboys from bothering me. I’m a big fan of turkey but an even bigger aficionado of your breast meat. Do you go for white meat, dark meat, or a little of both ;) Meat first or do you go for stuffing right out of the gate :O

    • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

      The Cowboys are bunk tile.

    • Lori Levine

      I love the stuffing

  • oblique outlook

    My in-laws don’t let us watch football because it keeps us from talking. I hate them. And I hate the Cowboys.

  • buffalobilly84

    I’d still stuff Christina A. with my turkey. She’s what we call “healthy” up here.

  • Cookie

    Mothra-in-law is swathed in leopard print and I am shitfaced. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

  • http://twitter.com/JunoirBlaber Junoir Blaber

    That doesn’t even look like Christina!!

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