Grote’s Gripes: “How Am I Doing?” Sports Eulogy For Our Mayor Koch

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Mets in 1st? Must be a really old paper.

Mets in 1st? Must be a really old paper.

NEW YORK, NY - The Super Bowl is now behind us.  Thank goodness, the Ravens held on to defeat the Whiners.  I couldn’t take an off season of hearing about the 49ers pulling off the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history.  The blackout again proved that New Orleans is really our nation’s version of a third world country.  Some 49er voodoo must’ve been the culprit.  It’s too bad The Public Professor is retiring because I’d love to get his report from the parade in Bodymore.

New York City used to have murder rates that resembled the current Baltimore numbers.  The mayor for much of that period was Bronx-born Ed Koch.  Koch died last Friday here in New York and it truly was the death of a legend.  Koch recently met St. Peter and asked him, “How am I doing?” to which St. Peter replied “Not too good Mayor, you’re dead.

During his 12-year tenure, New York saw it’s share of success in the sports world.  So, as a Sports Eulogy For Our Mayor Koch, I give you the Champions of the Year for every one of Koch’s years in office.

1978 - The New York Yankees won their second consecutive championship while Koch was in his first year in office.  Mickey Rivers stole more TV’s in the ’77 blackout then the 25 bases he stole in 1978.

Up Yours, Bjorn

1979 - The New York Rangers made the Stanley Cup Finals only to lose to Montreal.  Chants of “1940” would continue until the Giuliani administration.

1980 - The New York Islanders won their first of four straight Stanley Cups.  Technically, the city has two boroughs on Long Island, so we can consider them somewhat related to NYC – kinda how monkeys are related to humans.

1981 - Queens native John McEnroe wins is first Wimbledon title on the fourth of July.  He also wins the U.S. Open that year beating Bjorn Borg in both finals.  When Koch asks him “How am I doing?” McEnroe yells back “You cannot be serious, this city is a cesspool!

1982 - The New York Cosmos win their last of five North American Soccer League championships.  Shep Messing and Co. snort more coke at Studio 54 then any other sports team in history.

Ozone & Turbo coulda put Met over top in ’84.

1983 - The New York Islanders win their last of four straight Stanley Cups.  Technically Denis Potvin beat his wife in Manhattan, so we can consider them somewhat related to NYC – kinda how Phillie fans are related to humans.

1984 - Brooklyn’s Mark Breland wins gold at the Los Angeles Olympics.  He was last seen pulling a Three-card Monte hustle outside the Grand Army Plaza subway station.

1985 - The St. John’s Redmen make college basketball’s Final 4 before losing to Georgetown.  Chris Mullin finds his car on cinder-blocks upon his return to campus.

1986 -The New York Mets win the World Series.  (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party!)

Back when being a Met fan was cool.

1987 - Brooklyn’s Mike Tyson wins the WBA and IBF titles to go along with his WBC Heavyweight belt.  Mitch “Blood” Green pines for a rematch while squeegeeing car windshields on 128th and Lennox Avenue.

1988 - The Columbia Lions snap the nation’s longest football losing streak at 44 games, with a victory over Princeton.

Oh, who owns NY?
Oh, who owns NY?
Oh who owns NY the people say.
Why we own NY!
Why we own NY!
C-O-L-U-M-B-I-A.

1989 - David Dinkins defeats Mayor Koch.  Who am I kidding, the entire city was a loser that year for giving us four years of Dinkins.

Stayed tuned tomorrow for a real New Yorker, Angry Ward or Angeleno West Coast Craig.

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  • Bronx Moose

    Feel like my grandfather died almost. Nice tribute.

  • DannyBax

    Rivers only had 25 SBs in 78? Wasn’t he their speed guy?

    • http://ThePublicProfessor.com The Public Professor

      I would guess his numbers went down after Bob Lemon took over. Billy Martin loved the inside game, but I’m not so sure about Lemon.

  • AngryWard

    You have to remember, Mickey Rivers drove and slept in a Cadillac back then. You could fit an awful lot of TVs in that thing.

    • http://twitter.com/Cookies_Corner Cookies Corner

      A Zenith?

  • http://ThePublicProfessor.com The Public Professor

    On the Parade: My gf called me from the train station (the one AW and Grote took on their death march to Camden Yards a couple of summers ago) at 10. Trains were passing by w/o stopping b/c they were already full w/ people headed to the parade. Meanwhile the platform was packed w/ would-be riders. I tried to give her a ride to her job, which is abut a mile north of the parade route. Could only get w/in a half-mile of it before traffic got insane, and I dropped her off there.

  • Tall Matt

    Please come out to the Piper’s Kilt this Saturday as Angry Ward does a standup routine under the nom de plume, Victor Varnado, trying to raise funds for eye surgery.

    • AngryWard

      Costarring Junoir Blaber as Walli Collins!

    • Bronx Moose

      Piper’s Kilt! Haven’t heard that name in a while!

    • Grote2Dmax

      That guy is funny. By that guy I mean Victor Varnado

    • http://twitter.com/Cookies_Corner Cookies Corner

      Clearly Ward’s glasses aren’t helping him out any. There’s also going to be a guy named Gary there. He’s a pro-volleyball player.

  • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

    Great job, Grote2DMax! We were hoping you’d mention Hizzoner. Always, always liked this guy. One of a kind. Tall Matt is the closest we have to an Ed Koch on the MTM Staff… Watch the NYC “Mr. Mayor” series on WNYE. The Koch piece is great.

  • DavidTyree

    That was keekee.

  • http://twitter.com/Cookies_Corner Cookies Corner

    Great stuff Grote. What? Why no ’77? (I am sure there is a good reason, but it’s late.. it’s been a long day.. i’m still single parenting and down a huge glass of hooch.) I mean.. 1977 Yanks.. the NYC Blackout AND the Summer of Sam?!?! Who can forget that?!? !

    • Grote2Dmax

      I would have but he didn’t beome mayor until Jan. ’77. Big year in NYC for sure. AW and I spent the blackout at Orchird Beach.

  • WestCoastCraig

    That’s a pretty impressive run, sports wise, for any mayor…I bet Koch didn’t lose too many silly mayor wagers. The Manhattan Clam Chowder stocks were safe under his watch.

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