Bracket Busters, WWE Bronco Busters, Yankees, Lenny Dykstra, Tiger, Jenna Jameson

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lori-grafitti1

Lori Levine her own Bracket Busters

NEW YORK, NY – This week in sports has been crazy, to say the least. First of all, you watch the news without hearing of the amazing Cinderella story… not the Florida Gulf Coast University- killing-brackets-left-and-rightBracket Busters story but rather that former WWE wrestler X-Pac tore his anus while performing a “Bronco Buster.” He will be just fine – he is healing after surgery.

The strangest parts of this story?
1) I didn’t even realize X-Pac was still wrestling.
2) I didn’t realize he was in his second trimester. He is so out of shape, he is actually giving Kim Kardashian a run for her money. And if it weren’t for “ass-tear” to be in my Google alerts, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t know professional wrestling still existed. Plus, I gave my Road Warriors/Legion of Doom baseball cap to the homeless like 5 years ago, Jenna Jamesonwhich coincidentally is the same time Florida Gulf Coast University became Division 1.

And then, there’s the Yankees….

I am more frightened of this season than I was at seeing the recent images of Jenna Jameson. After all these injuries, the team seems to consist of Brett Gardner and well, Brett Gardner…  and now, Vernon Wells. Cashman & crew are good at picking older players and watching them come back to life as a Yankee and I’m hoping Wells follows in this model and pulls a 2003 year again.

Finally, I’ve never been more excited to get my hands on something from the Mets since the Madoff Settlement money. But that will change with the release of Nailed!: The Improbable Rise and Spectacular Fall of Lenny Dykstra. lennydI am probably more excited for this new book, than Tiger Woods is for the new Nike campaign. Just when I thought blowing his finances, not paying creditors and becoming the worst financial “expert” the world has ever seen was bad enough, this book tells of Dystra impregnating three women in one night and then getting them all abortions. winningIf that’s not the new sex-term for a Grand Slam, I don’t know what is.

Tune in tomorrow for the “winningCookie’s Corner, from Cookie her-CILF.

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About the Author ()

Lori Levine is one of those people who should always be in a bikini. Don't be fooled by the fact that Howard Stern voted her his Hottest Fan, though. Her "degenerate dad" raised her at the track in New Jersey and watching the Yankees, NY Giants, NY Rangers and Knicks. She knows sports better than 99.9% of us and she's a wise-ass with the brain to make it all work.

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