Sports Sorts

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mark-sanchez-440NEW YORK, NY – Just two weeks ago, I watched the horrific break of Kevin’s Ware leg. Like most people, I thought that was the worst imaginable thing that could happen in sports. But then I realized teams were gearing up for football season. The coming of spring means a few things.

For one, Rex Ryan is preparing to assist the Jets into blowing their season again. The Jets seem to need every position besides a kicker and yet, as of right now, Tim Tebow is still on their roster. But nobody knows what position he will hold. The only consistency QB Mark Sanchez seems to possess is handing the ball over to the other team. And both David Garrard and Greg McElroy have about the same playing power as the Hoboken water main system. And then add that Darrelle Revis is in the midst of taking his talents to Tampa Bay; and it seems the only trade the Jets should be looking into is that of a new head coach.

kevin-ware-leg-injuryFor Jets fans – which thankfully I am not – the 2 games this season that the Jets face Tom Brady in, may be more difficult to watch than it was for me to see the pictures of A-Rod tanning in Miami, while collecting his $33 Million dollar salary despite being “injured.”

Speaking of the Yankees, I would have easier time reading Kobe Bryant’s Twitter, than acting like I had any faith in this team. And, the season started off slower than Sabathia’s metabolism. But, as I write this, the Yankees are playing their 11th game of the season, and just dominating the Orioles. Similar to the strip clubs in Newark, this current team is a team of understudies and over-the-hill players. But, just like shoes with clear heels can be directly linked to girls with stepfather issues; Derek Jeter, Mark Teixeira, and Curtis Granderson will heal and directly link the Yankees back to success, and remind all fans why we spend $600 to see them.

kobe-bryant-joins-twitter

Different Matt, tomorrow.

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Lori Levine is one of those people who should always be in a bikini. Don't be fooled by the fact that Howard Stern voted her his Hottest Fan, though. Her "degenerate dad" raised her at the track in New Jersey and watching the Yankees, NY Giants, NY Rangers and Knicks. She knows sports better than 99.9% of us and she's a wise-ass with the brain to make it all work.

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