The Battle of Route 3: Giants vs Jets

Best_Jets_Fans Meet_The_Matts

Giants vs Jets

Route3 Meet_The_MattsNEW YORK – Writing about the Giants and the Jets is sort of like comparing Hillary Clinton with Tan Mom or Teen Mom. The Jets are the Giants white trash, room-sharing, younger sister. Yet, even with all my non-enthusiasm for the Jets, I must admit, I was looking forward to seeing what QB Geno Smith could bring to this team. And apparently, if a sprained ankle and a fu-man-chu’ed up Mark Sanchez is what the Jets were looking for, they got that.

NY Jets Babe Meet_The_MattsThe road has been a tough one for Mark Sanchez.

He fought for his spot with Tebow, now he’s fighting for his spot with Smith and soon, he’ll be fighting for his spot on Dancing With the Stars. It seems like last year, the only aspect he was consistent with was throwing incompletions. And Week 2’s Jaguar game reminded fans of this with his incompletion (again) to tight end Kellen Winslow. This is similar to how my rage ensues when I see people wearing A-Rod jerseys.

The Giants are dealing with their own problems, which is typical pre-season Giants. First, what’s going on with Jason Pierre-Paul? JPP is essential for the Giants defense, just like poor management is essential to the Jets. Secondly, you know it’s bad when it’s easier for me to list the injured players than the healthy ones. I’m not even sure who I was watching play, since the bench was loaded from Victor Cruz’s bruised heel, David Baas’s knee and Justin Tuck’s hamstring. Even Coach Tom Coughlin getting a penalty for unsportsmanlike behavior in the Colts loss.

Lori Levine

Lori Levine

The NFL preseason defines a team’s future the same way Kardashians define humbleness, and we are only seeing glimpses of what this season will behold. And I will admit, I was watching ‘The Man with the 132 lb Scrotum” and only checking scores on the Pittsburgh-Washington game this week after getting turned off by the Week 2 Colts win. But the truth is that the Giants having a great season, after beating all these odds, would make me as excited as Vladimir Putin is to take off his shirt and deny gay rights… and if the Jets doing well means the Patriots are not, I am a Jets fan.

Different Matt, another man with melons in his boxers, tomorrow.

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About the Author ()

Lori Levine is one of those people who should always be in a bikini. Don't be fooled by the fact that Howard Stern voted her his Hottest Fan, though. Her "degenerate dad" raised her at the track in New Jersey and watching the Yankees, NY Giants, NY Rangers and Knicks. She knows sports better than 99.9% of us and she's a wise-ass with the brain to make it all work.
  • Big Fat Toad

    How cold does it have to get for that guys nuts to shrink up into his stomach?

    • Cheesybruin

      It’s a built-in defense against hypothermia.

      • FakeSandyAlderson

        Giants could use some help with their “Cover 2″

        • AngryWard

          Bwahaha! That guy is three down linemen for the price of one.

  • AngryWard

    If JPP and Tuck can’t go, the Giants should sign the Man with the 132 lb Scrotum. He’d be sure to lead the league in sacks. Can you imagine that guy landing on Tony Romo? Death by teabagging. It would make Joe Thiesmann’s broken leg look like a children’s birthday party by comparison.

    • Meet The Matts

      Would an undisputed Sack Leader fit under the Giants salary cup??? Uh, wait…that’s cap.

      • FakeSandyAlderson

        When I suggested the Mets trade Ike Davis for a bag of balls…

      • Lori Levine

        lol at Sack

  • Robert Moses

    Two observations:
    1) That 6 is a 10
    2) That’s a lot of jockstrap.

    • Preacher Collins

      1) Yes.
      2) Reminds me of a bag of kick-balls in grade school. He must be making a killing at sperm donor banks, or make them quake in fear, not sure.

  • Preacher Collins

    Quite suddenly I am both a Jets and Giants fan at the same time…

  • SentFromMyBlackberryWireless
  • Junoir Blaber

    Who is that Jets fan in the pic? that was all I noticed. Where you saying something Lori??

    • Lori Levine

      If I were Spanish, 30 lbs heavier, and willing to wear that Jersey, it’d be me.

      • Inappropriate Matt

        If you were 30 lbs heavier we’d fire you!

  • WestCoastCraig

    Forget Mark Sanchez…when is the guy with the scrotum going to Dance with the Stars?

    • AngryWard

      That guy’s satchel weighs more than the Public Professor.

  • Robert Fulton Grad

    Mccarthy, this ‘Lori’ is too perfect. We know she can’t be real. Gotta be you! Anyway your NY Mess just signed Dice K.

    • Yankee Joe

      WHAT A JOKE! DICE K!! HAHAHAHA!! WAY TO GO MUTTSIES!! Lori can I touch your Giants patch!

  • vinny from brooklyn

    fireman fred and hot girls. you guys no how to get us!

  • AngryWard

    As for the girl in the Sanchez jersey? That butt is no fumble. She also looks like she wouldn’t need to adhere to the NFL mandatory thigh pad rule.

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