The Ford Escape: Toronto Mayor, Incognito, Geno Smith, Wayne Gretzky

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The Ford Escape

NEW YORK, NY – For all I’m concerned, there are two types of people in the world: 1) People who do not understand the fascination with Major Rob Ford 2) People who love him. Of course I am one of the latter – and on the right side of history in doing so. Frankly, I do not understand this group that is acting like he’s Kony, the African warlord who took over the Internet. Or worse, a Mariachi band panhandling in my subway car.

Sure, the price of maple syrup may go up and a Tim Horton’s may not open in Soho this year but we needed this form of entertainment, especially after all these sad news stories about typhoons, NSA leaks, and the Giants starting 0 and 6… And I know this makes little sense but I think those who are intrigued by this mystical Canadian creature also feel the Patriots lost in the fairest way to Carolina on Monday night… or knew Geno Smith was going to be a JaMarcus Russell for the Jets.

Lori Levine

Lori Levine on Team Incognito?

And also, I am on Team Richie Incognito. If bullying is not appropriate in the locker room, then where is bullying appropriate? And, back to Major Ford….when the Toronto Argonauts told him to stop wearing their jersey, and the CFL commissioner told him not to attend the playoffs, he went ahead attended the game (in his custom jersey), and even carried in a replica Grey Cup trophy. This trophy may or may not have possibly been made out of the same tin foil he used in his crack pipe. This Canadian is definitely rivaling Wayne Gretzky as America’s pick for Top Canadian.

With that, I’m out. Channel your inner-Canadian and leave your two cents below and come back tomorrow for Cheesy Bruin, with a Especial Viernes Edición.

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About the Author ()

Lori Levine is one of those people who should always be in a bikini. Don't be fooled by the fact that Howard Stern voted her his Hottest Fan, though. Her "degenerate dad" raised her at the track in New Jersey and watching the Yankees, NY Giants, NY Rangers and Knicks. She knows sports better than 99.9% of us and she's a wise-ass with the brain to make it all work.
  • Cheesybruin

    The picture of Ford is hilarious.
    The picture of you is delicious.

  • Royal Mountie Prop

    And his show just got canceled! Hopefully some soul-less Hollywood types will put it on Bravo.

    • Meet The Matts

      Royal Mountie Prop! We see that yo’ve crossed over from our partner site,… We talk hockey too, here. Just sayin’, eh.

    • Lori Levine

      It did? That was the only show besides ‘Shameless’ that I was looking forward to!!!!

  • AngryWard

    I have no problem with Tommy Boy being mayor of Toronto. As for “Team Richie Incognito,” I’ll take a pass. I could really care less about locker room bullying (unless we’re talking about the Sandusky variety in which case your skull should be fit for a folding chair) but by all accounts Richie Rich is an A1 a-hole. I can’t believe he’s not a Jets fan.

    • Meet The Matts

      Could it be that he and his brother are pulling off the greatest comedy sketch ever? He is truly too good to be true.

    • lori levine

      Martin is a pussy, and didn’t want to play anymore. This gave him justification to keep his money from the new contract.

      • Walking Tall

        I don’t care how big you are. When you have a juiced up nut job like Incognito in your face every day, it has to wear you down.

  • jgclancy

    If Prince Fielder gets ahold of Texas BBQ there’s no telling how big he’ll get after the trade is completed.
    Speaking of trades……could we trade for Rob Ford with Canada? Who’d we have to give up to get him? Ted Cruz maybe…he’s Canadien too so no visa issues .Maybe have Ford run Detroit.

    • Meet The Matts

      Cruz is already Canadian, so they might want somebody fresh. How about a nice Weiner? If not Eliot Spitzer might do well up there.

      • Lori Levine

        I suggest Rand Paul and/or his dad.

    • AngryWard

      If America trades for Rob Ford (a deal I like, by the way) David Spade’s career is really gonna take off.

      • jgclancy

        David Spade’s career peaked when he did that one episode of Facts of Life to start his tv career but I’ll always think of him as Joe Dirt.
        The Canadians have said they won’t trade Rob Ford for any sex perv politicians .Now I’m thinking we may have to give them a seasoned Joe Biden for Ford and maybe make them toss in Shania Twain.

        • AngryWard

          That sounds fine to me. But no way we’re taking Celine Dion.

          • jgclancy

            I agree…especially with that husband coming along. He’s kinda creepy to me.
            At worst we’ll go Joe Biden for Ford &an autographed Gordon Lightfoot album. It’d be tough given up Joe though.

  • south of the border

    A Canadian with a personality must be on crack!!

    • Fonzie

      Canada is the new Mexico.

  • buffalobilly84

    How about A-Roid storming out of the meeting? And Lori, you are hot! Nice snatch, Mccarthy!

    • Lori Levine

      He told you about my snatch?

  • Junoir Blaber

    I tell you what, drinks with Ford and Incognito would be a memorable night.

    Will Sassoon to play Ford in the Ford movie.

    I would give Canada Cruz and Rand Paul for Ford. Make him a mayor in Louisville.

    I also want to point out the poor investigative reporting in Canada. He said he had more than enough snatch to eat at home. Did anyone confirm with his wife, if he does and is good at it?

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