Black Monday at NFL Unemployment Office

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Black Monday 2012NFL UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE – The 2013 regular NFL season is in the books, and thus it’s Black Monday, when the pipe organ of the coaching carousel cranks up and bodies start spinning off the wooden horses and into the frenzied crowds.  There were record numbers last year when eight head coaching positions changed hands, but the air is thick with disappointment after a wacky final day yesterday, and nobody’s safe.

It was this time last year when the Browns leadership ushered in the Rod Chudzinsky Era in Cleveland.  It wasn’t the most benevolent age, with a carousel at QB and a marquis young running back traded away for a draft pick Chudzinsky never got to coach. Now they’re citing the usual need for a new direction.  That direction is apparently sideways, as a prime candidate to replace him is Josh McDaniels… another reconstituted sour fruit from the Belichick coaching tree, whose previous head coaching experience ended with him being run out of Denver on a rail just three Black Mondays ago.  The other candidate is, incredibly, Jim Schwartz, who hasn’t officially even been fired from Detroit as of this writing, but what else can you expect after a 1-6 finish to a season they were once in control of?  They accommodated the Vikings yesterday, allowing Leslie Frazier to win the last game in the Metrodome… before he is probably fired today.

Mike-Shanahan_Redskins_ATE_blogThere will be no more Shanahanigans in Washington, as Mike Shanahan’s angry red face will no longer represent the team name.  Now they’ll have to change it or something.  A long time ago, Shanahan was fired from the Raiders, a distinction Dennis Allen may share with him today because, well, it’s the Raiders.  Shanahan was basically a lame duck already yesterday when he lost perhaps his final game as a coach to the Giants and Tom Coughlin, who despite a sucky season is safe, along with skinny Rex Ryan, who perhaps saved his job with a better-than-expected season and a solid spoiler over the Dolphins yesterday, perhaps ending Joe Philbin’s reign of bully-enabling.

The most notable victim of last year’s Black Monday purge was Andy Reid, and there are certainly pundits in Pittsburgh who feel that perhaps he should’ve stayed that way yesterday after he started the Charleston Chiefs instead of his Kansas City regulars.  The Chiefs still almost won, and it was because the one regular starter he did play, his normally reliable kicker Ryan Succup, missed a game-winner.  The Steelers started the season 0-4 and in this year’s AFC that was almost good enough to make the playoffs (and in fact, was… if not for a blown call by the refs on that kick).  It’s enough to keep Mike Tomlin’s name off this list, and certainly the Chargers’ Mike McCoy, himself hired on last year’s Black Monday (filling Norv Turner’s tiny shoes) even though he did everything he could to lose that game, including an absurd fake punt in overtime on his own 30!  It worked, and McCoy bought himself some time.  

lose the schwartzSo there is always hope.  Of the eight new coaches brought in last year, three made this year’s playoffs:  McCoy, Reid, and Reid’s replacement in Philadelphia, Chip Kelly.  Kelly’s Eagles won the battle of attrition that was the NFC East by beating the Dallas Cowboys, who will almost surely can Jason Garrett after yet another 8-8 season.  8-8 three yeas in a row for Garrett, which is the kind of success rate that just may have him right back in line to board the next go-around.

Comment below and come back tomorrow for Al “Fake Sandy” Sternberg, who has stepped in admirably for Grote2DMax.

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About the Author ()

West Coast Craig reports from Hollywood with an endearingly laid back style. A happily married father of two little boys, WCC has an avocado tree in his yard, plays the hot corner in a "Valley" hardball league and always manages to take cool sports-related mini road-trips, often with his immediate clan. He hails from Oneonta, NY but has been "So very L.A." for twenty years, so his sports teams are the Yankees AND the Dodgers, the Pittsburgh Steelers, the L.A. Lakers and the Colorado Avalanche/Quebec Nordiques. WCC loves bacon-wrapped hotdogs and can touch his heel and his ear... with his hand.
  • vinny from brooklyn

    i said my jets would win! 8-8 is better then the giants!

    • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

      They did it… Congrats on 8-8!

  • MartyStein9er

    What a joke on the non call in the Chiefs Chargers game. Steelers got robbed. And the Jets being a 500 team means we have to put up with Rex another year.

    • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

      Rex keeps us all giggling, so it’s great to have him around. If only
      Bobby V or Ozzie G were managing in NY… THEN we’d have fodder year
      round.

      • AngryWard

        New York tabloids are loving Rex sticking around for another season.

  • jgclancy

    Chudzinsky was fed to the C.H.U.D. on Sunday night. Ouch -they didn’t even wait a day.
    Oh , them Steelers are pissed. First, KC rests everybody but the kicker and he misses a last second game winner. I won’t mention the refs roll in this fiasco for the Steelers but my brother in San Diego is happy.
    Good time was had with all of Sam’s – A – Fan’s imaginary friends yesterday!

    • jgclancy

      P.S- Frazier is down!

      • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

        Down Goes Frazier! Down Goes Frazier! Down Goes Frazier!

        • ToughGuy5

          Dallas should fire Garrett. He sucks.

    • Junoir Blaber

      I guess I gotta find the highlights of that game.

  • Junoir Blaber

    Remember all, we bet 5 dollars on the over/under being 3 coaches fired today, I bet the over. I picked 4.

    • jgclancy

      They just axed Shanahan. which leads to the question of the meaning of the word “today” (imagine me imitating Bill Clinton ) since Chudzinsky was fired yesterday?

      • Junoir Blaber

        Two down. Schwartz will go before the end of the day. We may need a neutral party to settle the meaning of “today?”

        • jgclancy

          And out goes Schwartz…

          • jgclancy

            And Schiano as well…..the “today” argument is now moot

          • Junoir Blaber

            You owe me a fiver or a beer according to the book of Yim!!

          • jgclancy

            So it has been sayeth…so it shallth be. A fiver or a beer the next time we hit the track and kill another horse.

  • Different Matt

    The blade hasn’t fallen this swiftly or repeatedly since the French Revolution. Black Monday indeed.

  • Junoir Blaber

    For those looking to keep track, the one liners are
    Down goes Frazier, Leslie that is!! – Short Matt
    No more Shanahanigans in DC!! – WCC
    The Schwartz is not with the Lions! – JB
    Bucs say hell no to Schiano! – JB
    Chudzinsky was fed to the C.H.U.D. – Clancy

  • Johnny Rox

    CONGRATS MR MATT on the Jints finishing the Season with a BIG Win over the redskins! 7-9 not too shabby!!!

    Now, how bout next Season? Jets/Giants?

    Both keep their Coaches, as they should!
    QB’s?
    The Jets have to decide what they’re gonna do here. Either put Sanchez back in as the starter, or make Geno the starter. Personally, as a Jets fan, I don’t think either one is “THE GUY”. However, if ya have to pick one it’s gotta be Geno! If they encourage Him to run when receivers are covered, as He did yesterday, he’d be a formidable threat! However lets not kid ourselves, he did that against a very scared Miami defense! Still between the two I think he’s our Guy!

    The Giants QB? WTF??? What happened to your Golden Boy, Franchise QB? HE WASNT EVEN MEDIOCRE??? Now I know you guys protect him like a rabid chihuahua protect a piece of Cheese, but ??? If a Team starts out with a string of Bagels, like the Jints did, who takes the blame? NOBODY??? Is this some more of that EVERYBODY GETS A TROPHY???
    Eli was getting SEVERELY outplayed by a backup mediocre quarterback who He shares a Stadium with!

    Good Luck with that…

    Don’t ya know?
    Johnny ROX!!!

    • Different Matt

      Hey Rox…

  • Cookies Corner

    I didn’t stay awake for it all.. but I hear Kyle Orton does a FANTASTIC Tony Romo choking impersonation.

    • AngryWard

      It was what they call “Romo Quality Choking.”

  • GrindingAx

    Being an angry Cowboys fan, I can only hope that Jason Garrett somehow gets a call from Hollywood to play Richie Cunningham on the new Happy Days. After the Green Bay comeback in little D, I figured that Jerry Jones would sell the rights,again , to the stadium to Golden Corral because it’s all you can eat against the pathetic squad under the reign of Gene Hackman Kiffin
    I cannot blame Kyle Orton at all. He was merely following the Romo game plan…..

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