ORLANDO, FL – It’s gotten as surreal as it possibly could for fans of the New York Mets. PED pitcher Bartolo Colon, who was suspended from baseball, is bringing his infamy to Queens. The Bartster was suspended 50 games for failing a performance-enhancing drug test late in the 2012 season. But in Sandy Alderson’s eyes, that doesn’t matter. All that matters is that this over-40 disgrace went 18-6 last year, warranting a 2-year, 20 million dollar contract for a lying, cheating, ancient fat bastard who is a urine test away from the MLB hoosegow. This Bart’s for you, Mets fans! Better get your tickets now for 2014 because Fat Bart & The Flushing Farces will be something to see! is too much too take and this crime against humanity cannot and will not go quietly into the night on our watch.
Fat Bart joins a distinct list of broken-down, old Latino ballplayers that have robbed ridiculously high paychecks, way-too-late in their careers, from the Farces. Moises, El Duque, Livan, Roberto Hernandez… They’re still giggling about it. But you know who’s not giggling? Us. And we’ve got 20 million reasons why. That cash could have gone for position players. It could have gone for a cache of decent relievers. It could have kept R.A. Dickey – the last decent human being to want to stay here – as a Met. And he’s two years younger than this Fat Cheating Bastard. Wait, check that. He’s probably 8 years younger than than Black Barty.
20 Million Dollars… Think about that. This is from a Management Team that has been preaching, “…doing it the right way,” for 4+ years. So, after an abysmal 4 years of talking a big game for 2014, Mets fans get Curtis Granderson, Chris Young and Bartolo Colon.
Okay. We’re exhaling. Maybe there’s something big coming. Maybe this is just the beginning… There better be. Because if there ain’t, we will turn and it will be ugly. Consider yourselves warned, Fred, Jeff and Sandy: We’re mad as hell and we’re not gonna take it any more.
Oh, and did we mention that we’ll start handing out bumper stickers with your 2014 Campaign Slogan:
Fat Bart & The Flushing Farces: No… Really!
Cookie’s Corner tomorrow.
Filed in: The Matts