MLB Winter Meetings, Whole Foods Market For Sports, New York’s 6th Crime Family

Sandy..."now where can I find that SS?"

Now where can I find that SS?

ORLANDO, FL – After the signing of Curtis Granderson, it is comforting to hear that Real Sandy is back to shopping at the Freddy Garcia and Cesar Izturis aisle at the Owners’ MLB Winter Meetings that started on Sunday evening in Orlando. Like one of the old folks pushing his wagon through overpriced hipster-friendly Whole Foods, the old bait and switch appears to be a staple of the Sandy repertoire.  On Friday, the signing of Granderson was announced and the commitment was for 4 years and $60M. Of course it was back-loaded so his 2014 salary is $13M.  Sandy is now knee-deep in an urgent quest to trade Daniel Murphy and Ike Davis, who’s combined salary in 2014 will be roughly $9M.  So when Sandy announced that a new day had dawned, that the Mets would be free of the Bay, Santana, Perez, Francisco contracts, etc. – meaning this off-season would be THE off-season when the shackles would come off and the Mets would again be run like a huge market team – he lied.

Sandy says the Mets team payroll will be around $85M next year. With apologies to the late Richard Crenna, that’s my brother’s bar bill at the Club… and he made law review at Michigan. (It should be noted that Short Matt made Law Review at Thomas Cooley School of Law)  $85M is 3 years of Jacoby Ellsbury for the Yankees, 3 months of Robbie Cano for the Mariners.  NOT a New York Major League Baseball team’s annual salary.  article-curtis-granderson

But this is not meant to serve as an “I told ya so” to all fans who’ve scoffed at FSA’s assertions, and sycophants who’ve been so god-damned sure that 2014 would bring about the return of big-spending and competitive ballclubs.  No, this column is dedicated to the Twitterverse of Met fan idiots who combine a lack of baseball knowledge, a blind belief that Sandy is both competent and sincere, with the clean-living that comes from living in their Mothers’ basements.  The column is further dedicated to the expanding coterie of sycophant local Met reporters; the Adam Rubins, the Mike Pumas, the Joel Shermans who get invited to “Lunch with the Liars” and listen to Sandy spin nonsense, and then proceed to ask Sandy a total of ZERO probing or follow up questions when the man with his pants on fire goes on unchallenged with his utter crap.  And Finally the column is dedicated to the National Baseball Media. The Jon Heymans of the world-who for 15 years was a hack writing for Newsday and had one source for all of his information (Mark Attanasio, Brewers owner)  The Ken Rosenthals, the Jayson Starks, the Buster Olneys and even the granddaddy of them all-the Peter Gammons of the baseball universe.

For 5 long years, the local and especially the National Media ignored the torture and disembowelment of the Mets franchise and its long suffering fans.  Not one piece written by any of them that spells out the crimes of the Wilpon-Katz cabal. The complicity of that Cabal with the Madoff scam. The ongoing collaboration between Bud Selig and the Wilpons to ensure the team remains in the incapable hands of the Wilpons-thereby guaranteeing not competitive baseball but only that the franchise remains in this Wilpon family. The 6th Crime Family in New York.  Nope, if the story wasn’t about OPS or quirky trivia, or romanticizing the abandonment of the stolen base as a weapon, then Gammons, Stark, Olney, et al had no interest in reporting on it.

On to the fun stuff…

Former Mitchell Report entry and All-Star Outfielder Magglio Ordonez is the newly elected Socialist Mayor of his hometown in Venezuela. mags

Much like last year’s performances in Atlanta and Baltimore, the Giants failed to muster much of an effort in San Diego.  An NFL team cannot survive an 0-6 start, and neither should Tom Coughlin and his crew. Time to start over.  Thanks for the good times Tom.

I’m picking July of 2015 when we start to hear grumbling that Cano wants out of Nirvana. (pun intended)

Robbie Doesn't even like Flannel!!

Robbie Doesn’t even like Flannel!!

A team that doesn’t get the notice it once did in this town is the Red Storm of St. John’s. The Johnnies have a bunch of athletic pro prospects on their roster that should get better as the season progresses and this should be a Sweet 16 team come March. If you’ve never seen JaKarr Sampson or Chris Obekpa-the best shotblocker I’ve ever seen!…go catch these young Johnnies. Cuse is up next on Sunday at the Garden.      Chris Obekpa

Lastly…Congratulations to the UB Bulls on their bid to the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl vs San Diego State - the school which over the years has produced the likes of Tony Gwynn, Stephen Strasburg and the legendary Michael Cage.  Go Bulls!

And come back tomorrow for our Michael Cage, Angry Ward.

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About the Author ()

As the contrived GM of the NY Mets, I have no money to spend. I no longer watch the games. I'm unfamiliar with the rules and especially the history of baseball. I am an administrator and any attempt to gather any real insight from me will be met with some big words. I am very old. Too old for this job.
  • oblique outlook

    The Mets and the their fans deserve each other.

    • Meet The Matts

      We resemble that remark!

  • AngryWard

    San Diego State also produced JG Clancy, the founder of the church of Yim, who dwarfs all others. In the unlikely event that Real Sandy brings in another big name or even two, I’m curious what would be enough for you to actually say “job well done?”

    • FakeSandyAlderson

      A winning record for the 1st time since ’08 would be a start. And I know I’m beating a dead horse, but having clarity and actually putting the improvement of the team first would also help. Otherwise, the Mets continue to be a “ward” of the state-so to speak.

    • M Donald Grant

      What is Curtis Granderson going to do to make a difference on a team with Josh Satin as the incumbent first baseman in the lineup and Tejada at short? This team is a joke beyond words and I’m glad somebody is talking about it honestly. Wilpon made Sandy sign Granderson.

      • AngryWard

        Didn’t you trade Tom Seaver? You’re history’s worst monster.

        • Meet The Matts

          And David Arthur Sky King Kong Kingman!!! But perhaps you’ve learned from your mistakes and stopped feeding your ego and dropped a few lbs… Like Al Sharpton.

      • Meet The Matts

        We tweeted this comment. Well said.

    • jgclancy

      The best part about the Buffalo Bulls vs. San Diego State University Aztecs is that it’s in the Potato Bowl. French fries, baked potatoes, mashed potatoes (yuck), sweet potatoes,potato skins, double stuffed potatoes, hash brown potatoes,cheese fries, julienne fries….well you get the picture.Bulls favored by three and I think it should be a pick ‘em but I just want a close game–unlike the Giant fiasco in San Diego.

      Yim 3:63 -Bless this game oh Yim that it gettith to Overtimeth and prolongs the partying.

      • Meet The Matts

        jgclancy: As SUNY Buffalo Alumni Emeritus, we’ll take Da Bulls and your 3.5 points!

        • jgclancy

          You think a team from Buffalo traveling to Idaho can beat my Aztecs? Well, you may be right- “But I’ll take your bet, your gonna regret, ‘cos I’m the best that’s ever been.” One bottle of booze approx.$50-60 sounds likea good value bet :) ( prefer scotch ).

      • SAF

        Yim be praised!

        • AngryWard

          And, once again, when’s the MtM Holiday party?

          • Meet The Matts

            We can only speak to a MTM Holiday Party.

      • WestCoastCraig

        and potato vodka.

      • Junoir Blaber

        Hey Clancy, do dead horses ascend to heaven in the church of Yim.

  • Grinding Ax

    I’m not sure what all the fuss is here. There is a new fan base coming. The New Millennials are ready to fill those seats in CitiField
    Fans will be able to play PS3 MLB between innings and have the ability to hack into the scoreboard to assure that the Mets will always be winning!
    They do not need to zone in on the action on the field, they will see the game as they wish while face timing their moms to see what she is cooking up for dinner. And as they exit the house that Swoboda did not build, a participation trophy will be handed to them.

    • jgclancy

      Do they really deserve a participation trophy? They’re not really even trying.

    • AngryWard

      This is already happening at Yankee Stadium, but I still laughed. The New Millennials.

    • Meet The Matts

      You know what?! We’re making a determination that this is going to be a GREAT YEAR!!! This will be 1985 all over again and a plucky, steady Travis D’Arnaud will be the key player in a acquiring a game-changing catcher! Just like Mike Fitzgerald for Gary Carter! YEAH!!!

      • Grinding Ax

        You are refreshingly delusional my friend. Grab a hot coco and pop that Miracle on 34th street DVD in. Ah, it’s Christmas time in NYC!

      • jgclancy

        1985?…you really think the Mets can get 2nd place in the East?Are ye daft, man. They ,once again, won’t have as many wins as my A’s!

        • vinny from brooklyn

          each team is weak. mcann left the braves and halladay retired. wash ia only one to worry about.

  • Cheesybruin

    Is “Lunch with Liars” anything like “Dinner For Schmucks”?

  • Junoir Blaber

    I went to school in Western New York also so glad to hear about the Bulls. As for the mets, the writers know where there bread is buttered so they can’t rattle the MLB tree.

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