Oliver Stone’s Conspiracy Theory on the Mets, American Idol, Theo Epstein’s Model

The Good

The Good

NEW YORK, NY – Among the many great scenes from Oliver Stone’s “Wall Street” was one that included an exchange between Bud Fox (a pre-porn Charlie Sheen) and Marvin (a pre-Scrubs John McGinley)¬† McGinley goes on and on about the kind of money Dave Winfield is making at the time.¬† Winfield’s free agent contract with the Yankees in the Winter of 1980 was for 10 years and $23 Million.¬† $2.3 Million Dollars. Per Year! Wow! Mind boggling numbers at the time, and other than Howie Spira and being known as Mr. May, a pretty good signing for a guy who was damn good (in the regular season) somehow even a bit underrated¬†and who would go on to the Hall of Fame.

It's the Best show you're not watching!

The Best show you’re not watching!

George Steinbrenner was a lot of things.  According to Billy Martin, he was a convicted liar. (Reggie was a born liar)  Say what you wanted about The Boss but when he saw a guy out there whom he believed could help his team win, George went and got him. Steinbrenner made his share of mistakes in trades and Free Agency signings, but he took chances and was not afraid to fail. Unlike Real Sandy Alderson, who has virtually no money to spend; no integrity to point to, and no knowledge seemingly of the current financial landscape of Major League Baseball.

Sandy, you want to go to the grocery store because your family is hungry.¬† You want some steak, but it’s 12 dollars a pound. So you look at the chicken instead and see that it’s less expensive than the steak, but at 6 dollars a pound, it’s more than you want to spend. Your kids are hungry, but the food you’d like to buy is too much money in your eyes, so you head home empty handed allowing your family to starve to death. Rather than enabling your family to thrive, you’d rather be right Real Sandy, and wait until prices fall to what YOU believe is fair.¬†¬† You tell your kids that you have money to buy groceries, but you just don’t like what the store is charging for those groceries.¬† Eventually you believe, you’ll get your filet mignon for 89 cents¬†per pound and your lobster for a nickel.¬† steak

Sometimes, free agency signings don’t work out. But you have to take shots sometimes.¬† You can draft well, make shrewd trades. But occasionally you have to throw caution to the wind and spend some dough. Real Sandy remains deathly afraid of landing on this list, so he sits idly by-much like my No. 5 on my list of worst Free agent signings in MLB over the past dozen years.

5. Carl Pavano. What can you say about the American Idle.  26 starts across 4 years for $39M.  This guy made Matt Kemp look like Lou Gehrig.

4. Alex Rodriguez. Which contract? Do you realize that A-Rod since 2002 has signed contracts totaling over half of a BILLION dollars?¬†Cheating all the way, his fat face screams…”smash me with an ashtray!”

3. Albert Pujols. When all is said and done, this may well go down as the worst contract in sports history. No one other than erstwhile Mets scrub reliever Jerry DiPoto actually believes he’s 33.¬† Albert is already pushing 40 and still has over $200M coming his way from the owner-Arte Moreno-who is easily the least talked about moron owner in Sports.

The Bad

The Bad

2. Julio Lugo.¬† You know how after the Red Sox won the Series this year everyone kept referring to the Red Sox approach as the Red Sox “model” of building a team? Well, before they crafted this new age model, the Red Sox were just a crappy rich team who shelled out as many bad contracts as any other team.¬† Before their “model” year in 2013, there were signings and acquisitions of guys like Adrian Gonzales, Carl Crawford, Josh Beckett...and Julio Lugo. In 2006, Lugo boasted an On Base Percentage of .373¬† Based exclusively on this and their Sandy-like belief that they were smarter than everyone else, Theo Epstein gave Julio “Friggin” Lugo 4 years and $36Million Dollars.¬† After signing that big deal, Lugo never had another year in which his OBP exceeded .284

Who's Son? George or Babe?1. Jason Bay. Among the top 5 most proven run producers in the game through 2009, Bay was a lock to give the Mets solid production in the middle of their lineup for 4 years.  Instead Bay gave Mets fans diabetes.  The popular narrative now tells us that Bay tailed off after a series of concussion during his first year with the Mets. The reality is that he had 3 HRs through August in his first season in Flushing, and then smashed his head against the wall in Dodger Stadium. The dye had already been cast at that point. 4 years. $66M. The Met curse indeed.

And Finally, Is this George Steinbrenner’s oldest son Hank? Or is this Babe Ruth’s grandson?

Our very own Babe Ruth – Angry Ward – tomorrow.

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Filed in: Fake Sandy Alderson

About the Author ()

As the contrived GM of the NY Mets, I have no money to spend. I no longer watch the games. I'm unfamiliar with the rules and especially the history of baseball. I am an administrator and any attempt to gather any real insight from me will be met with some big words. I am very old. Too old for this job.
  • FakeSandyAlderson

    Honorable Mention Worst FA moves go to Frank Francisco (NYM); Josh Hamilton (LAA); Luis Castillo (NYM); Carl Crawford (BOS)

    • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

      Carl Crawford could also be involved in Boston’s best trade in a decade – dumping him on Magic Johnson.

  • Yankee Fan

    As bad as Pavano looks on paper, it was an injury issue. That is not Cashman’s fault.

    • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

      Agreed but he had what, 2 decent years with the Florida Traders of Miami before the Yanks dumped 40 million on him?

  • jgclancy

    ” Say what you wanted about the Boss”- So ” hello darkness my old friend”…

  • AngryWard

    Hank Steinbrenner got fat eating all those contracts, but stays slim by smoking Laramie Extra-Tar Cigarettes.

    • jgclancy

      Hmmm..I’ll root for the Yanks when the Steinbrenners are no longer owners.So let me send him a lifetime supply of them thar Laramie cigarettes.Hope they are filterless….

      • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

        Fair-weather Clancy strikes again!

        • jgclancy

          I get you a few cartons too :)

  • Cheesybruin

    Surf ‘N Turf as Free Agents–good job FSA!

  • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

    Okay… So, we’re on board with the Sandy Bash Party, but let’s point out 2 acquisitions that could prove to be steals in the Ed Hearn/David Cone mode: Noah Syndergaard and Zach Wheeler… If those two pan out, Mets fans will be doing cartwheels… And notice that we didn’t even mention the “cornerstone” D’Arnaud. He looks more like a busboy than a Franchise Backstop.

  • vinny from brooklyn

    what do you think of the granderson talk to the mets?

    • FakeSandyAlderson

      Its just talk. There is no intention on Sandy’s part to do anything-other than some fringe crap. Moves are being made like crazy today and yesterday and Sandy sits on his hands. He is so gosh-darn sure that HIS way is RIGHT. That is—do nothing and wait till the Market comes back to him (it won’t) Teams like the Rangers, Tigers, Giants, Cards…they’ve all made significant multiple moves already–and they’re the teams that go to the postseason seemingly every year. It’s not as though Sandy has any kind of track record (this century) to point to that would say…hey he knows what he’s doing. There won’t be Granderson, or Choo, or Arroyo, or really anyone other than say, Scott Feldman if he’ll take one year. His difference-maker acquisition of a year ago-Travis d’arnauld? He stinks. Jury’s in. Syndegaard yet to throw a pitch in anger. Wheeler is 50/50 to make it as more than a #3. There is no justification for this guy (RSA) having a job. Old, lazy, unimaginative and craps the bed when he forgets to wear his diaper. Old bastard.

  • Junoir Blaber

    Jeff Weaver to the Yanks, Kenny Rogers second time around in New York. Andrian Beltre was another guy who had a great contract year then vanished. The list goes on!

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