Cookie’s Corner: 2014 Sports Highlights!

125th Rose Parade Presented By Honda

Vin Scully leads 2014 Sports Highlights

FROZEN TUNDRA, CT –  Happy 2014, everyone! How about we cram a god damn BLIZZARD down your throat after your kids have been off school for nearly two weeks so you can be saddled with them – amidst a dose of cabin fever like that in The Shining?! No?  Just me?  Well, OK…  But while I can complain about that aspect of winter (seeing as I’m a bikini, tanning butter and triathlon loving girl), so far I’m loving 2014. And yes, 2013 showed me that there IS such thing as a free lunch (compliments of the NGO organization I volunteered for last fall AND the MTM Holiday Extravaganza for us writers).  But there have been some great 2014 Sports Highlights so far. Here’s a look:

Meet_The_Matts Staff Group Shot2

The Winter Classic: With temps around 13-14F and a wind chill of 0F in Ann Arbor, Michigan, the 6th Winter Classic was a HUGE success with nearly 105,000 attending the game.  (Take THAT soccer!) The Red Wings ultimately lost to the Maple Leafs in an ever exciting shoot out. (And seriously.. how COOL was that game?)  Super cold… snow falling to the point that it needed to be cleared off the ice.  C’mon. You call hockey a NICHE sport?!  That beat the CRAP outta watching the Tostitos Vomit Cheese Dip Bowl.

Speaking of Bowls… did anyone see some of the Rose Bowl Parade? I always marvel at how EVERYTHING on all the floats are made out of flowers, seeds, or some sort of plant life/foliage.  Good stuff.

But.. the Bowl Games are drawing to a close.. with the last game being the VIZIO BCS National Championship on January 6th, and the REAL bowl game of interest for many may be the January 5th, Go Daddy Bowl with Arizona and BALL State.  I heard it’s supposed to be the TITS!

NCAA Football: Army at Ball StateWinter Olympics: Are you dreaming of seeing the Jamaican Bobsled team? Are you HOPING that Tiger Woods’ Flavor of the Year Lindsay Vonn gets a GOLD at one event and then BLOWS the giant slalom? Will you be SHOCKED when some male Olympic skater comes out of the closer after watching him prance around on the ice, completely unlike not gay Aaron Rogers? Well… what I LIKE about this all is that it doesn’t start until FEBRUARY (I thought January) and by the time it’s over, it’ll be March.. which is almost the end of winter.. so.. there’s that. Also, Sochii sounds like mochi,  which is some Japanese confection I’ve never tried – but I’m fascinated by.

Da Cutler! Being a Broncos fan, I’m pretty excited that Da Bears saw to extend a long term contract to Jay Cutler. Quite frankly, I think the guy wasn’t given a decent shot anywhere before he landed with the Bears and despite an 8-8 season, glad a team is showing him some respect and confidence.

From ESPN.comAlthough financial terms were not released, Cutler’s deal is expected to eclipse the $17.6 million average the Detroit Lions gave Matthew Stafford in July. It also includes at least $50 million in guaranteed money, league sources told ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter.

Timmy Tube Time! Also exciting, another stray Bronco that wasn’t given a fair shot has found a new home. Tim Tebow will now be an ESPN commentator (as covered by Angry Ward this past Wednesday). And while I can be pissy that a team like the J-E-T-S (HEAR ME BLABER?!) stiffed him so fast, yet bet the farm on that high school-girl-loving, overrated coverboy, Mark “The Sanchize” Sanchez, I am glad that Tebow will have some nice cashola to console the too-soon finish of his NFL career.

And with that… I’m going to sign off and for Friday night, console these winter blues with some drinks, good friends and good times.  Come on back tomorrow for the good times of Junoir Blaber!

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About the Author ()

Cookie, like 7 fifths of the MTM staff, was brought in by The Franchise (Angry Ward). They met sitting near each other at a NY Rangers game. She's our Angelina Jolie in "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" - by day the fetching wife and young mother of two little boys; by night the hot, sports fanatic that mixes in triathlons and X-Treme sports with her love for the Yankees, Brooklyn Nets, NY Rangers and... Denver Broncos. She is, like most of the rotation, more than a bit sassy, bakes like nobody's business and is one smart... Cookie. She too, needs to be in a bikini as often as possible.
  • jgclancy

    So Eldrick Tont Woods’ new nickname is “Giant Slalom”? :)

    • Meet The Matts

      Vonn will have a slalom-sized caboose in 5 years.

  • AngryWard

    “I heard it’s supposed to be the tits” is a line I will be saying all day. Schools closed. I think this DeBlasio fella is weak. So much for staying in bed and dreaming of Lindsay Vonn and being a giant slalom.

    • Meet The Matts

      Whoa! What’s with the improper use of a certain type of bird?! And slamming our new Abraham Beame protege on top of it?! Somebody needs a timeout!

      • jgclancy

        Mr. DeBlasio is no Abe Beame!

        • Cookies Corner

          Someone say Jim Beam?!?!? Oh no.. wait… I’d rather Sam’s A Fan’s Pappy 20 YO.

          • AngryWard

            I will be loading up the flask with some liquid blanket later. When I crack that mother this evening walking down Ewen Park en route to Marble Hill, it’ll be the tits for sure.

    • Cookies Corner

      Kids were off school for nearly two weeks.. went back for two hours.. now are off again. It’s the TITS!

  • Yankee Joe


    • Meet The Matts

      And she missed you, Yankee Joe. We all did. Now go make some snow angels and cool down!

      • jgclancy

        Knowing him they’ll be yellow snow angels

    • Cookies Corner

      Yankee Joe is back! Happy New Year Yankee Joe! (Doesn’t his presence just warm us all up?!??!)

  • SAF

    Doesn’t Tall Matt look vaguely Scottish in that MtM Holiday Extravaganza photo?

    • jgclancy

      And younger too!

  • bosoxbruins04

    Vin Scully makes Dick Clark look like a flash in the pan. The guy is a freak. Good for him. Still great.

  • AngryWard

    Just went sledding with the fam. It was the tits.

    • Cookies Corner

      Hope you all still have tits. Apparently cold enough to freeze those off.

  • jgclancy

    Hey MtM–I’m going to assume (yes I am) that CheesyBruin will get his playoff picks in tomorrow before the games begin.

  • Cheesybruin

    Just another example that today’s kids are pansy-ass, bed-wetters…it used to snow crazy amounts and we didn’t get the day off. The-Blah-zah-oh said the frigid temps in addition to the heavy snow influenced his closing the schools. Maybe this is why Johnny can’t read? Or write? Or go to the bathroom without Mommy or Daddy wiping their kids asses? Cookie, open up a Boot Camp Day Care! You’ll make million$.

  • Different Matt

    Tits are the tits!

    • AngryWard

      They really are.

      • AlexanderBorisDePfeffelJohnson


        • jgclancy

          I know (and don’t assume) you’re talking about the English…eh, pfeffy?

          • Junoir Blaber

            I gotta kinda agree with Diff!!

  • WestCoastCraig

    Since I missed the holiday party, I’m still waiting for my free-lunch coupon from Matt.

    • jgclancy

      You know it’s an expired lunch coupon, right?

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