Cookie’s Corner: Sports Babe Shares Deep Olympic Thoughts, Happy Bobby Valentine’s Day!


Happy Bobby Valentine's Day Meet_The_Matts

FROZEN TUNDRA, CTHappy Bobby Valentine’s Day, everyone! Enough snow for ya here in the Northeast?! Another snow day here and more piles of snow to go on top of piles of snow, because we don’t want these things to melt before August.  And it’s sixty-three degrees in Sochi and the skiers are working on mashed potatoes. Get them on over here… I’ve got a Super G-spot right here in my front yard!

On the bright side, I have been able to watch some of the Winter Olympics, which in my book are the ugly stepsister to the Summer Olympics. The summer version is far more athletic on the whole, yet I’ve actually been enjoying some stuff and had my curiosity peaked by other facets of the Winter Olympics. Let’s Go, De Blasio!

Great seats!

The MTM Staff “backs” the Summer Games assessment.

Curling. Why is this a sport? Why are they wearing ugly pants this year? And for god’s sakes, this ‘sport’ has me wondering WHY my kitchen floor can’t be as shiny as the ice those people are sweeping and curling on.

USA SpeedskaterSpeed Skating: Short course, long course… that sh*t is COOL! The blades on the skates look cool and some of those speedsuits are WICKED cool. Team USA’s speedsuit is very cool. When people wipe out that’s pretty cool too.

Ski Jumping: It’s exciting this year as women’s ski jumping is now and Olympic sport. Still, I’m not getting why this is athletic, unless you consider sticking the landing  super athletic. Sure, it’s important to stick the landing… but still.

Raging Conjunctivitis: I’ve been RIVETED by this since Sunday night. Bob Costas came on the air with his specs on and a red eye. I thought ‘Is that PINK EYE?!’ Alas, the next day the interwebs confirmed he DID have pink eye. Then the NEXT night he came on air and I said to Mr. CookieDoes that look like his OTHER eye is red now?!” And he said, “Maybe.” But they never got too close to Bob and it was hard to tell. So, I tuned in the NEXT night (who the f*ck knows what was on, I was now morbidly obsessed with Bob’s eyeballs), and… WAIT… that’s MATT LAUER! sammy_davis_jrAnd he confirms he’s FILLING IN FOR BOB COSTAS who “... has been battling an eye infection.” And so Matt’s commentary is minimal on it last night and I’m SERIOUSLY OBSESSED wondering if Bob’s being fitted for a double Sammy Davis, Jr. special or shopping for a seeing eye dog.

Team Ice Skating: WHY?!  This looks like ice dancing to me. So, we’ve got MORE of this crap televised?! And I tell you what… if I have to watch this crap because it’s all that’s being televised of the Olympics in prime time, I’d like to see and hear more of the commentary of flaming Johnny Weir. Thanks.

Team Luge: Thank the snow day for this one, as I wouldn’t have seen it otherwise. Team Luge is when there are three lugers and it APPEARS the single luge person goes first and it’s a woman. THEN after she goes, TWO DUDES pile on a sled… LAYING on top of each other and go. While you’d THINK all that weight would make the sled go FASTER, from what I saw it netted MAYBE 1.5-2MPH faster than the single did – and ONLY during the last three seconds of the course. So.. what’s the point?!  Hmmm… I dunno. But this at least explains some stuff to me, including instances where Canadians get it RIGHT.

And with that…I’m skating on out of here. Come on back tomorrow for some more slippery fun with Junoir Blaber.

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About the Author ()

Cookie, like 7 fifths of the MTM staff, was brought in by The Franchise (Angry Ward). They met sitting near each other at a NY Rangers game. She's our Angelina Jolie in "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" - by day the fetching wife and young mother of two little boys; by night the hot, sports fanatic that mixes in triathlons and X-Treme sports with her love for the Yankees, Brooklyn Nets, NY Rangers and... Denver Broncos. She is, like most of the rotation, more than a bit sassy, bakes like nobody's business and is one smart... Cookie. She too, needs to be in a bikini as often as possible.
  • toby12

    This picture says it all! haha

    • Cookies Corner

      toby12! good to hear from you! And gosh that’s just a PERFECT post!! Those pics ROCK!

      • Is that K.D. Lang?

        • Junoir Blaber

          Who is that??

          • Cookies Corner

            Johnny ‘Uber Queer’ Weir! He’s FANTASTICO!!!

          • AngryWard

            Yeah, even gay people think Johnny Weir is kinda gay. Just ask Short Matt.

  • Cookies Corner

    And a footnote to the Team USA speedskating suits looking pimp. Apparently the team is now saying that their suits *MAY* be slowing them down. Really?!?! I find this a little disappointing to hear… because it sounds like an excuse.

    • Our next MTM Staff gathering needs to be in MTM speedskating suits!

      • Cookies Corner

        We’re gonna need some more alcohol then… a LOT more alcohol.

        • Junoir Blaber

          Oh and Super G-Spot. Come on Cookie your better than that!! Too easy! Its like teeball for a joke.

          • Cookies Corner

            Listen Blaber.. what can I say?!?! It’s my gift to you all after another full day of cabin fever with the mini Cookies AND a glass of wine! My Valentine to you all!

          • WestCoastCraig

            Nobody is above a good G-spot joke on here. Thank you for it!

  • Happy Bobby Valentine’s Day!!!

  • Junoir Blaber

    Love. That. Video!

  • AngryWard

    I had no idea Bob Costas had Russian eye herpes. Who said this wasn’t a news site?

    • Cookies Corner

      I have a friend who is a doctor (NO.. we haven’t ‘played doctor’ and he does not play a doctor on TV), and he said since clearly the infection spread from one eye to the other, it’s resistant to antibiotics.. which means it’s a gonoccocal conjunctivitis infection. (And if you don’t want to lose your appetite for lunch…DON’T google that. But of course, you knuckleheads will, just like I did last night. HAPPY VALENTINE’s DAY!!)

      • AngryWard

        I ordered a big plate of gonoccocal at Umberto’s the other night and I’m still stuffed.

        • Junoir Blaber

          Where did they move to? They are no longer on Arthur Ave.

          • jgclancy

            Gone!…one on Mulberry still there…

  • FakeSandyAlderson

    That picture appears to be the love child of Jim Parsons and Travis d’Arnauld.

    • AngryWard

      You must admit, those are some lovely blouses.

  • Clay Achin’

    I love that picture of Bobby V! And him cursing in the podcast is priceless. We need to hear his Olympic commentary on figure skating and curling!!

  • Different Matt

    Cookie. Super G spot in your front yard is the hottest thing you’ve ever said.

    Curling, aka Canadian shuffleboard is great. It’s a drinking man’s game.

    What I don’t get about ski jumping is why it’s judged? Jump far. Stick the landing. Win. Why do they have judges?

    • SAF

      Totally with you on this Diff. They don’t judge long jump in the Summer Games. Don’t judge, just measure.

  • SAF

    This is what Costas looked like to me on Sunday night’s broadcast.

    • SAF

      Dagnabbit, the picture of the big eyed book store man from “Top Secret” was supposed to have been pasted above!

      • AngryWard

        Here ya go, Sammy.

        • WestCoastCraig

          I know a little German…he’s sitting right over there!

          • AngryWard

            Don’t forget that showing prisoners LeRoy Neiman paintings was outlawed in the Geneva Convention.

  • Cheesybruin

    I like drinking from the hairy cup and now have to worry about getting eye disorders??? God is playing a very cruel joke on me. I medaled at the Torino Games in 2006 for sticking a nasty landing in Super G (spots).

    • AngryWard

      You sound drunk right now. I approve.

  • Yankee Joe

    Cookie baby needs the gspot in her front yard fixed!!!!!

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