Happy St. Patty’s Day, O’Sports Fans! Making Sense of NCAA March Madness Bracketology

Angry Ward St Pattys Day in Holloywood

Angry Ward and Hollywood pals talk March Madness Bracketology on St. Patty’s Day.

DUBLIN-ISH, HOLLYWOOD – It’s yet another holiday Monday post for your far-flung West Coast correspondent and while it seems impossible, I do believe I’m pulling my first St. Patrick’s Day duty here.  So let me pour some Bushmill’s and put on a green plastic hat to put me in the mood.  Ah, that’s better.

Now I’d love to sit here and pretend to know what I’m talking about in filling out a tournament bracket, but Warren Buffet’s billion dollars is perfectly safe from me.  However, why the persistence in organizing the brackets by region when every year there’s a Stanford or Colorado in the South, Louisiana and Wisconsin in the West, or a Milwaukee in the East and a Manhattan in the Midwest?  I understand scheduling is exceedingly difficult, but couldn’t those last two at least have been flipped?  It makes me want to rethink the brackets all together, and arrange them under more fitting headings.

City Slicker Region:  Featuring schools named after their home cities, like the aforementioned Milwaukee and Manhattan (I’m counting Manhattan as a city, is that wrong?) and a whopping twelve schools this year…a lucky thirteen if Albany makes it out of this so-called  “First Four” (technically there are eight teams vying for the last four spots, so shouldn’t it be the “Last Four?”).

St. versus St. Region:   Albany would have to beat Mt. St. Mary’s, who would only be the third team with the  “St.” coming before the name, along with St. Joe’s and Saint Louis (I’m accepting the fully written “Saint” there, but  I’m flexible).   That’s opposed to the nine that have the “St.” coming afterwards (and it seems random who bothers to spell out “State” from bracket to bracket).

knicks-pattys-day carmelo

Carmel O’Anthony… on Ulster?

Full Name Fever Region:  Lots of schools are named after people, but in this tournament only two dared to use first and last names:  George Washington, who once threw a quarter across the Potomac before basketball was invented as a cheaper form of fun; and Stephen F. Austin, who crashed in a tragic rocket accident and had to be rebuilt with bionics for a cheap $6 million.   He’s going to be tough to beat in that region.

Regional Region:  This includes the four schools that have a direction in their name (usually a bad sign), including Eastern Kentucky, Western Michigan, NC Central and Coastal Carolina (and if you really want to stretch it, you could technically including North Carolina itself, or North Dakota St.)  One more if Texas Southern gets in.  You have the North, South, East, West, Central, and Coastal…which sound like pretty good bracket headings to me.

So who’s going to win, you ask?  I’m going to go with…Wofford.  I can’t think of any regional category for them, so they’ll have the easiest route.

st-patrick39s-day21On a closing note, leave it to Angry Ward to come out to West Coast Craig’s (me in third person) neck of the woods on St. Patrick’s Day, when the most amateur of annual Irishmen pour into the streets, punching the arms of everyone audacious enough not to wear green on this solemn day of remembrance…of…something to do with snakes?  Oh yes, the rivers will turn green with the vomit of corned beef and cabbage, Guinness, and Tullamore Dew.  Or, in other words, just another Monday afternoon for Short Matt.

Tune in tomorrow for Fake Sandy McAlderson and/or Al O’Sternberg.

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About the Author ()

West Coast Craig reports from Hollywood with an endearingly laid back style. A happily married father of two little boys, WCC has an avocado tree in his yard, plays the hot corner in a "Valley" hardball league and always manages to take cool sports-related mini road-trips, often with his immediate clan. He hails from Oneonta, NY but has been "So very L.A." for twenty years, so his sports teams are the Yankees AND the Dodgers, the Pittsburgh Steelers, the L.A. Lakers and the Colorado Avalanche/Quebec Nordiques. WCC loves bacon-wrapped hotdogs and can touch his heel and his ear... with his hand.
  • de Blasio

    I’ve got a George Washington vs American final.

    • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

      Mr. Mayor, that is a GREAT pick!

      • buffalobilly84

        No Buffalo?!

  • jgclancy

    Am I supposed to wear green? I always forget that one.My San Diego State University Aztecs have a nice #4 seed and should win a few before losing to either Arizona( or possibly it’ll be Gonzaga). To beat them they’d have to have a little more offense….and they don’t.
    I’ve promised the team that I’ll buy them all Waffle Tacos if they win the first two games they play.
    By now Angry Ward is hoisting a few and getting into fights by constantly referring to that city as ” Frisco “.

    • Junoir Blaber

      Gonzaga has not been the same since everyone started backing them and they became a mid major. They need to go back to being unheard of again.

      • jgclancy

        Yeah, they used to be the unknown with the quirky name. We’ll see how good they are quickly. Probably get by OK St. but the trees of Arizona will stop them. No Waffle Tacos for them.

        • Sam O’Fan

          In Irsay’s defense, it was already St. Patrick’s day on the other side of the international date line, no?

          • jgclancy

            Ordinarily I’d agree but A) despite it being St. Patrick’s Day somewhere he’s in Indiana where they think New Mexico is a foreign country B) as with players just call the damned service car! C) I just wanna know what controlled substance he also had? – coke, crack…..catnip?

          • WestCoastCraig

            He was celebrating Purim.

          • jgclancy

            Looks like he’s a pill popper…the ole I’m hooked due to surgeries line…..I’m thinking he shouldn’t even have a license!
            Purim – one of my favorite names for a holiday-don’t know why but I just like it.

          • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

            All this speculation about his Driving Under the Influence is just Irsay!

          • Sam O’Fan

            In the Jewish religion it is, if not a mitzvah, a good and respected thing to get drunk on Purim. In Yimology (or did we agree on Yimnastics?) we have Pour-Yim, were it is indeed a mitzvah to pour a glass for Yim, the most holy blessed be he, and of course, Yim being Yim, he will pour one for you too!

          • jgclancy

            It’s Yimology since Yimnastics might attract the wrong element…you know-the Jane Fonda crazed exercise types.
            Even Yimology has to have some kind of standard.

    • AngryWard

      Now in LA, JG. Hoping to meet Craig this evening for a pint or three and an airing of the MtM grievances. But, yeah, not a fan of the amateur night that is St. Pats.

      • jgclancy

        Make sure you grab an In-N-Out double double on your way.No drinking on an empty stomach ya know! So many grievances yet so little time to drink to each one

  • Cheesybruin

    Wofford rhymes with Spofford, as in the juvenile correctional facility in the South Bronx. Good enough fer me. Go Delinquents!

  • Cheesybruin

    Tune in to Channel 4 for the St. Patrick’s Day Parade today and watch for the BREWSTER HIGH SCHOOL MARCHING BAND set to start stepping at 1:20 pm. These young lads and lasses are a very accomplished bunch as their invitation to play Dublin last year serves notice. My daughter, Kaitlyn, will be playing bass clarinet. SLAINTE!

    • WestCoastCraig


  • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

    Happy St. Paddy’s Day to you and yours from us and a then-recovering, Cheesy Bruin. He was in for a touch-up…

    • Cheesybruin

      To The Matts,
      Go maire tu (may you live long) for that visit to the Mt. Sinai (insane) Asylum four years ago.

  • Cookies Corner

    Hey where do i enter that Warren Buffet shot to fill out a fully correct bracket and win $1Billion?!?!? really, that’s the only interest i have in March Madness (which goes until April. Soooooo stupid.)

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