Cookie’s Corner: Sports Babe on Eric Decker to Jets, Mark Teixeira, Jen Selter, Mayor de Blasio

Eric Decker and Jesse James Meet_The_Matts

Eric Decker’s country singing wife, Jesse James, knows what buttons to push.

NEW YORK, NY – COLD ENOUGH FOR YA IN THE NORTHEAST?!  Since nothing makes sense lately, I thought this week we’d take a look at a few of the goings-on in the world(s) of “Sport” (as Mitt Romney would say) and Entertainment. So, here’s hoping that my thoughts on Eric Decker to the Jets, Mark Teixeira, Jen Selter, Mayor de BlasioScarlett Johannson and Kim K will inspire your commentary, get me off the hook for writing over a word count and getting flogged by Management.

-de Blasio!  While catching a bit of his press conference yesterday on the tragic explosion in Harlem, I just came across the fact that he delivers his statement en Espangol, tambien. (SAP for the Spanish hearing-impaired. COMO?!  His Spanish SUCKS. Bloomberg’s was muy mejor. Ponder… DEBLASIO is all “I’m NYC and of color.” Why can’t his Espagnol be a little better?

Kim Kardashian got in a car crash. As a news source says, her “Mercedes war machine” was hit and Kim was “unfortunately uninjured.”   (Not MY words people… but feel free to discuss.)

Broncos: Dreamy Denver wide receiver stud Eric Decker has signed with the NY Jets. INSERT. LARGE. SIGH. HERE.

-Justin Bieber attended (and sang at?) SXSW.  (That’s South By Southwest for those of you on a Commodore and Time Warp Tony). Do we NEED anymore proof this thing is such a goddamn dead horse that even the Elmer’s factory doesn’t want it!?!

Mark Texiera: Keeping with the horse/Elmer’s Glue theme… my boy Tex is BACK… and he got to home base too!

Angry_Ward as Jen_Selter Meet_The_Matts

Scarlet Johannsen! Speaking of back… HOLY SH*T!!  Someone KNOCKED UP Scarlet!  Someone is gonna have to do an intervention on Angry Ward, who took the above Selter Selfie when he got the news.

And with that…I’m outtie in hopes that this weekend will fair better for weather, sports and entertainment news. Come back tomorrow for the always cheery (and beery) Junoir Blaber.

From The Vault:

P.s… If you missed the latest MTM foray into Sports Talk Radio click this. It’s short and worth a listen.

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About the Author ()

Cookie, like 7 fifths of the MTM staff, was brought in by The Franchise (Angry Ward). They met sitting near each other at a NY Rangers game. She’s our Angelina Jolie in “Mr. & Mrs. Smith” – by day the fetching wife and young mother of two little boys; by night the hot, sports fanatic that mixes in triathlons and X-Treme sports with her love for the Yankees, Brooklyn Nets, NY Rangers and… Denver Broncos. She is, like most of the rotation, more than a bit sassy, bakes like nobody’s business and is one smart… Cookie. She too, needs to be in a bikini as often as possible.

  • Abraham Beame

    DeBlasio will be the worst mayor in history if not checked. And that guy with the glasses has a great caboose.

    • Hizzoner, are you saying he’ll be worse than Dave “Foot Fault” Dinkins?!

      • MartyStein9er

        Dinkman the tennis star!! Crown Heights loves that guy. But don’t get me started. You made me laugh so lets stay there. The pictures and video are great too! 🙂

        • And Dinkins used to sweat like Ray Burris!

          • Cheesybruin

            DeBlasio is no Pete Falcone.

    • Cookies Corner

      Well… being a native New Yorker… I lived thru the Dinkins years and am glad not to have to live thru ‘Dinkins: Part II, Electric Boogaloo.’

  • Harvey Fierstein

    Decker will divorce his Jesse once he sees all the women in NYC in the Spring. She was all that in Denver, but New Yawk ain’t Denver and that man is Canseco HOT!!!!!!

    • Country music will break up any marriage, Marvelous Harv.

      • Junoir Blaber

        Call it my napoleon complex but I don’t get why you see couples like him and her. There is over a foot difference in height. There should be a rule, Tall athletes go for Supermodels and leave the short girls to short guys.

  • Junoir Blaber

    To hard on De Blasio. The whole pizza with a knife and fork thing was a bit much and stop and frisk, plus Bratton were all bad calls but cut the guy a break on his Spanish. I mean at least he is trying. Bloomy’s suck at first too, it takes time. The effort should be enough.

    • jgclancy

      De Blasio curtailed the Stop & Frisk program and isn’t appealing the judge…thumbs up in my book.Time will decide the rest.
      Go Aztecs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have to beat UNLV tonight.
      GO Waffle Taco!!!!!!Less than two weeks until it’s debut.

      • Junoir Blaber

        Should have ended it full stop, plus Bratton is an architect of SandF so how does he come back to power. Anyway irrelevant. When does March madness start.

        • jgclancy

          I know it ends in April!

          • Cookies Corner

            Yea.. and don’t you think that doesn’t annoy me. (As well as using a double negative.. but it’s actually kinda funny.)

  • WestCoastCraig

    Bieber shows up at SXSW, and two people die and 23 are injured in a terrible accident? What else could go wrong?

  • Dude

    How is this site not all over the warthen “chinamen” thing… does he refer to tejada as a spaniard? what does he call granderson?

    • Dude… Warthan may be calling in on our next Meet The Matts Radio Spot…

      • Dude

        excellent! i envision him much like evil jay leno on howard stern… gold, jerry! gold!

  • toby12

    I am conflicted with that Selter??? picture! Does that make me gay? lol

    • Favorite Cuzin

      Just goes to show, no matter how hard you work, there are still things you can’t change! 🙂

      • That’s right, Favorite Cuzin! As hard as we work out on our back muscles, they are still covered in layers of dead skin and mildewy hair!

    • Don’t be alarmed, toby12… The MTM Photo Dept reports being simultaneously aroused, revolted and squeamish re posting A-Dubya’s “selfie.”

  • The Barrister

    Great podcast Al & Matty. You two are as good as Scooter and White. I mean that. But about this chick/Ward with the nice tail – you know ahe had to make a life decision at one point ro just say, “My only shot is to have the best ass… and take pictures of it myself.” Success or not, it’s creepy.

  • Cookies Corner

    And yea… I have NO idea who on the Jets is going to throw to Decker and I’ve not yet digested the DeMarcus Ware thing.

  • AngryWard

    How did you get that photo? I wasn’t going to unveil my new figure until bathing costume season. You’ll be hearing from my lawyer. Cookie, I had no idea about Kim K. Did her airbags deploy?

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