Fantasy Baseball Lineup To Stay Away From & DJ Eberle Proves He is Funny

32 Comments

SOMEWHERE ON THE MASS PIKE – Not only does the month of April mean our beloved Yankees and Mets are back in action, but it also means that fantasy baseball is up and running once again. At this point, most fantasy baseball leagues are three weeks in, which mean’s that some fantasy owner’s may be going into a trading frenzy if their team hasn’t gotten off to the best start. So I bring you a guide of players to stay away from. Here’s a fantasy baseball lineup of players to stay away from in trades:

Was Chris Davis' season last year too good to be true?

Was Chris Davis’ season last year too good to be true?

Catcher – Carlos Santana, Cleveland Indians (.153, 2 Home Runs, 3 RBIs, 7 Runs): In most years, Santana is a coveted player by many owners, but his play has been pitiful this season. My guess is Santana’s poor performance at the plate is due to Indians manager Terry Francona deciding to stick the catcher at the hot corner. Last season Francona wanted to have the catcher split time at first base and catcher to rest his knees, but third is a whole different animal.

First Base – Chris Davis, Baltimore Orioles (.255, 1 Home Run, 8 RBIs, 2 Stolen Bases): Maybe Davis’ breakthrough season a year ago was a fluke. It’s head scratching that Davis only has one dinger this season, which is less than his stolen base total. At this point last season, the O’s first baseman had six home runs, which might shine light on what’s to come for this slugger. It might be time for owners to move on from the former home run machine. 

Second Base – Robinson Cano, Seattle Mariners (.254, 1 Home Run, 8 RBIs): Yup, good ol’ Robbi Cano. Any Yankee fan could have told you that they saw this coming. Cano is now playing in a bigger ballpark, with less talent surrounding him, causing a dip in his numbers. Not to mention, he has four RBIs and one multi-hit game since April 6. Maybe it’s the beard?

Don't you just miss this face?

Don’t you just miss this face?

Shortstop – Jimmy Rollins, Philadelphia Phillies (.262, 2 Home Runs, 11 RBIs, 3 Stolen Bases): In all honesty, Jimmy Rollins is having a pretty good season as far as fantasy baseball goes, but compared to the rest of the shortstops in the league, his numbers are below par. Chances are good, J-Roll’s hot start won’t continue throughout the season. Since he’s on the older day, expect an uptick in routine off days; which fantasy owners hate.

Third Base – Alex Rodriguez, New York Yankees (Suspended): If for some reason you have Alex Rodriguez on your roster, you’re an idiot; and there are some people out there who own the suspended third baseman (he’s owned in 0.2% of leagues in ESPN.) And if someone tries to trade you A-Rod, tell your commissioner to kick that fool out of your league.

Outfield – The Los Angeles Dodgers Fantastic (Or Not So Fantastic) Four: On paper, having any of the Dodgers outfielders on one’s fantasy team sounds like a good idea. It’s not. Matt Kemp just came back from injury and is batting under .200. Carl Crawford hasn’t been the same since he left Tropicana Field years ago. Then there’s Yasiel Puig. Puig was on fire last season, and everyone knew the entertaining outfielder would come back to earth at some point. But who knew he would be batting under .250 just under one month into the season? Oh, and don’t forget about Andre Either! He’s just the odd man out. The problem for the Dodgers, is they have four good outfielders and not enough spots to play everyone at once. Try and stay away from one of these four.

Bartolo might need a refill.

Bartolo might need a refill.

Starting Pitcher – Bartolo Colon, New York Mets (1-3, 5.40 ERA, 1.48 WHIP): Look, I love Big Bart as much as the next guy, but I think Colon’s bottle of “Michael’s Secret Stuff” has ran out. He hasn’t been pitching all that great, and when he’s not on the mound, the camera keeps catching him during some less than flattering moments.

Relief Pitcher – The Houston Astros Closer-By-Committee: Are you one of those people who waited until the late rounds to draft your closers? Or maybe you like watching the waiver wire and see who everyone missed out on? Well stay away from each and every one of the pitchers in the Astros’ bullpen. Not only is this bullpen atrocious, but they always lose!

anchorman*NOTE: All statistics are as of the morning of April 20.*

On a side note… To those like Angry Ward, who don’t think I’m funny, take a load of this… My impersonation of the legendary anchorman, Ron Burgundy!

Feel free to comment below and come back for Big Al Sternberg. You can also follow us on Twitter at @Ebstide52 and @MeetTheMatts.

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About the Author ()

D.J. Eberle: The youngest of our team, D.J. is also the largest. Offensive Tackle Large. In fact, this Albany native is playing OT for Western New England University - right now. Like Junoir Blaber, he's a regular on Rugby Wrap Up - his dad played rugby with The Matts. His cross to bear, however, is his love for the Buffalo Bills and Buffalo Sabres. As for baseball and basketball, it's the Yanks and Atlanta Hawks. Follow him on Twitter: @Ebstide52
  • Cheesybruin

    DJ, you’re definitely the Anchorman when it comes to sound fantasy baseball advice.

    • DJ Eberle

      It’s funny because I don’t follow most of my own advice. I have Davis, Puig, and Crawford. Granted I’ve tried to get rid of all three.

      • http://rugbywrapup.com/ RugbyWrapUp

        Moonlighting, DJ???

    • DJ Eberle

      Fantasy Baseball update: I was able to trade Yasiel Puig as part of a six player deal.

  • jgclancy

    43 year old former poster boy for steroids Jason Giambi should be off the disabled list today. How he’s on a beisball team is pure fantasy.
    Anyway, my AL best record A’s roll on – nice.
    Rangers blew it yesterday so it looks like a long series now .
    In NASCAR this weekend I have no idea what happened. In NBA yesterday – ditto.
    Looks like a nice enough day…maybe the Mets can win again….maybe

    • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

      The A’s aren’t that good, jgclancy. You watch…

      • jgclancy

        As long as they’re better than the Mets…wait, that’s a given!

  • AngryWard

    Good job, D.J. The Mariners have fallen and they can’t get up. Just got swept by the Marlins, which ain’t good. I predict that if they lose tonight at home against Houston with King Felix on the hill, Robinson Cano hops a flight to the DR and takes the rest of the season off.

    • Different Matt

      How many years before the Mariners try to trade Cano and end up eating half his salary?

      • AngryWard

        One?

        • Junoir Blaber

          Over under is 3 years. It was a bad marriage from the start.

    • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

      A-Dubya: In. Your. Face. DJ is funny. Hopefully, he won’t kick your *ss!

      • jgclancy

        “Hey! You’re talking to my guy all wrong. It’s the wrong tone. Do it again, I’ll stab you in the face with a soldering iron.”

        A cookie if ya know the movie….and remember – nobody messes with my man , A-Dubya.

        • AngryWard

          Hahaha! I had to look it up, but I always appreciate a Joe Dirt reference.

  • Howie Rosebud

    Bobby Abreu. Put him in the books!

    • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

      Julio Franco is next.

  • SAF

    Not just Bartolo, leave everyone in a stinking NY Mets’ uni off your squad, except David Wright of course.

    • vinny from brooklyn

      i like duda playing everyday. 2 hits yesterday. hey, dj – the video is very funny.

    • Different Matt

      Now that Ike Davis left New York, he’ll probably hit .350 the rest of the season. Pick him up!

      • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

        9-9, people! They were 0-3 to start the season! That means they are 9-6 in their last 15. We’ll take that.

        • SAF

          You don’t think that you should discount the 3 against Arizona? And are you not concerned that they can’t hit a lick, especially at home?

        • FakeSandyAlderson

          You’re not going to get much more of it. Tejada would be a great fantasy SS if the league awarded points for lowest OBP, fewest RBIs, etc. He’s getting worse by the minute. And he’s still threading his eyebrows. (How Short Matt knows what a completed eyebrow threading procedure looks like is anybody’s guess, but he says it a lot about Ruben)

        • GrindingAxWalter

          That statement reminds me of when Shallow Hal said to Mauricio ” Your a catch. Your pulling in what, 28,29 G’s per year?

  • I feed Floyd

    Fantasy baseball time!!!

  • SAF

    Go Meb!

  • jgclancy

    Well, the Knicks did it……

    • AngryWard

      They refunded ticket holders from the past decade their money?

      • jgclancy

        That would have been a good start but no they just fired the coach!

  • DJ Eberle

    Welp… Ike Davis just hit a grad slam for the Buccos.

    • GrindingAxWalter

      He will go 0 for his next 30, however.

      • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

        New Movie: “The Ike That Tortured Pittsburgh!”

  • buffalobilly84

    Great video… The hair was great.

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