Cookie’s Corner: Sports Babe is a Mother You’d Like To… Answer Your Burning Questions in Sports & Entertainment

31 Comments

JOE TORRES BRAVESNEW YORK, NY – Gloomy weather again, but sun heading our way just in time for Mother’s Day.  And everybody’s got a mother… so make sure you treat her – the woman who bore the fruit of your loins, or any other mother – right this Sunday. And this mother here has realized that she doesn’t ALWAYS have all the answers – but often enough, she’s got a good amount of them. So, here’s your Sports Babe to answer to some of your Burning Questions in Sports & Entertainment:

-The Yankees have announced they are retiring Joe Torre’s number (#6). NOAngry Ward will not be in attendance.

-The Rangers will lose on Friday night, or win and go on to lose and lose the series.  YES.  The likes of Different Matt, myself and the legions of other Ranger fans will be put out of their misery.  NO. The Rangers generally never have and never will take advantage of the Power Play. That’s Rangers Hockey History 101 from when I used to sit in the nosebleeds with Angry Ward before the new millennium.

-Speaking of the Rangers, Mike Richter, my Rangers dreamboat from those early ’90’s glory days, ran the seven-miler race in an event I ran the half-marathon (plus four) miles of on Sunday. NO… I. NEVER. FLOCKING. SAW. HIM.  Broke my heart.

jason collins, twin bro and Oprah

Oprah with Jason Collins and Jason Collins??? NO. The chubbier of the twins is straight.

-Someone will buy the LA Clippers… but NO, it won’t be Oprah. 

-Dreamy Joe Mauer is on the DL.  YES. I wish I could nurse him back to health.

-NO. California Chrome will not even win The Preakness. I believe we will not see a Triple Crown winner again until we are all too old to see the race happening on the TV screen. Yup.

-YES. Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis’ baby will be ass ugly.

And with that, I’m gonna move it on outta here. Come on back tomorrow for someone a bit chattier and who loves his Momma, Junoir Blaber.  

Happy Mother’s Day (on Sunday)!

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About the Author ()

Cookie, like 7 fifths of the MTM staff, was brought in by The Franchise (Angry Ward). They met sitting near each other at a NY Rangers game. She's our Angelina Jolie in "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" - by day the fetching wife and young mother of two little boys; by night the hot, sports fanatic that mixes in triathlons and X-Treme sports with her love for the Yankees, Brooklyn Nets, NY Rangers and... Denver Broncos. She is, like most of the rotation, more than a bit sassy, bakes like nobody's business and is one smart... Cookie. She too, needs to be in a bikini as often as possible.
  • jgclancy

    I will join Angry Ward and not attend either.

  • AlexanderBorisDePfeffelJohnson

    What has that thuggish ape done that was so Brave? Only fools would honor such a Neanderthal. Fools.

    • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

      Mr. Mayor… The Braves are a team in Atlanta. Joe Torre is a former pitchman for Bonds, a men’s haberdashery of sorts… He never played for the Neanderthals.

    • jgclancy

      You’re right Pfeffy…for once!…it’d be like giving an Englishman a humanitarian award.

  • AngryWard

    Not many people know this, but Joe Torre played a gorilla enforcer named Jehoshaphat in the 1973 film “Battle for the Planet of the Apes.” So, yes, in that regard he does deserve to have his number retired.

    • SAF

      Which was a better star turn, Torre in the Planet of the Apes franchise, or Bill Laimbeer as a Slestak in Land of the Lost?

      • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

        How about Bill Walton on Shark Tank?

        • Cookies Corner

          Those bottles…. feh.

  • jgclancy

    I read the Yankees are putting something in monument park for Tino Matinez?….my how the standards of greatness have fallen in Yankeeville but then again it isn’t really Yankee Stadium is it. They tore that down

    • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

      They’re putting “Wide Ride” Tino in Monumental Greed Park?! For what, getting that huge can around the bases???

    • Different Matt

      Pretty soon Shane Spencer and Glenallen Hill will have their own plaques in Monument Park

      • Cookies Corner

        Little known fact: Shane Spencer is Angry Ward’s FAVORITE Yankee EVER.

        • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

          Not Dick Tidrow or Dick Howser? Doesn’t he like Dicks?

          • jgclancy

            He doesn’t like a certain Matt so obviously no :) and I say that with love but once again have to quote Clem:

            Hey! You’re talking to my guy all wrong. It’s the wrong tone. Do it again, I’ll stab you in the face with a soldering iron.

      • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

        Not if Danny Tartabull has any say!

  • vinny from brooklyn

    does anyone think the jets blew it by not taking manziel?

    • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

      Yes… And we’ll be addressing that with Mad Dog in the tardy Meet The Matts Radio segment… Check your locals.

    • jgclancy

      The moment they signed Vick I stopped reading anything about the Jets. They’re dead to me……like Neil Diamond was to his father in The Jazz Singer…let me tear a piece of my shirt too……too bad it’s not a Michael Vick jersey

    • DJ Eberle

      Not one bit… They already have Geno and Vick. If anything they should have went with a WR. But hey my Bills are going playoffs or bust this fall, so that should be fun!

      • jgclancy

        Bills just traded away Steve Johnson….

      • GrindingAxWalter

        Your Bills will be a bust, once again. They and my Cowpokes can create their own playoffs of badly managed teams.

    • Cookies Corner

      I can’t believe Idina Menzel and Taye Diggs are getting divorced. (Ohhhh… waiiiit a minute.)

      • Junoir Blaber

        Save that talk for women’s weekly

  • WestCoastCraig

    Ah, but will the Manny be in attendance?

  • AngryWard

    Hilarious that Tino gets a plaque out at the Whore Emporium’s graveyard. Clancy is right about it not truly being Yankee Stadium, so does it really matter? Still, if Tino gets one then Jeter should get one as big as Big Stein’s.

  • Junoir Blaber

    My article tomorrow is on why Rangers suck so hopefully they win tonight

    • GrindingAxWalter

      Eh. Your stealing my ideas?

      • Junoir Blaber

        They are sucking enough for two articles these days!

  • GrindingAxWalter

    Is it me or does that picture of Torre look like a cricket player from India?

    • Junoir Blaber

      The IPL is going on now too.

      • GrindingAxWalter

        Perhaps they can sign and retire his number,as well.

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