Predictions for Jets and Giants plus 4 Free NFL Picks From Clairvoyant Cheesy Bruin

19 Comments
Makes movie if Jets win

Makes Conspiracy Movie XV if Jets beat Peyton.

LAS VEGAS, NM – If you don’t have an NFL Sunday Ticket subscription and are therefore limited to your regional telecast of today’s Jets home game against the Denver Broncos, head to a friend’s house or the local watering hole. Then you’ll have the luxury of watching otherl games because things should get ugly at MetLife Stadium today. Speaking of ugly, another break-even week appropriately has the mark at 55% here but catch my 72% rate at The Gamblers Source for rock solid bets.

Game day meal

Game Day meal

Denver Broncos -9.5 (48) over NEW YORK JETS
The very first line set by Vegas on this 1:00 game was set at 4.5, but after the Jets no-show blowout in San Diego and Denver’s second half surge against the Arizona Cardinals, the odds-makers quickly adjusted the line to it’s current number. If you ask me, the line is still too low and should be around 13 or 14. Just consider this a gift from above. Normally, in a situation where the line is askew this much, I’d be all over the underdogbut we are talking about the Jets – and therefore, throw all logic out the window. The only way the Jets have a chance in this ballgame is if an Ebola outbreak hits the Broncos or an ISIS threat cancels the game. Get set to call Oliver Stone or 20/20 to investigate if the Jets cover – or worse yet… win. You’ve got a better chance of seeing Jimmy Johnson dance with an erection.

The Broncos can easily put up a fifty spot on this defense – if they keep the foot on the accelerator for four quarters – even with Brock Osweiler in mop-up duty for the horseheads. Did you see how an aging Antonio Gates killed Gang Green last week? Do you think things will be any different against Julius Thomas? The Jets should have played desperate last week to avoid going 1-4 but they were desperate to get on the plane back to New York. Poke ’em with a fork ’cause they’re done. Oh yeah, New England is up next week.
Score: Broncos 52, JETS 24
Picks: Broncos -9.5 and OVER 48

http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1915583/jimmyj.gif

Hey, Dummy! You from Philly?

Hey, Big Dummy! You from Philly?

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES -3 (50.5) over New York Giants
There’s been more trash-talk leading up to this game than on Sanford & Son reruns. I mean it’s week six and this is what we’re getting? The bickering won’t have me paying much more attention since I’ll be on the ride home from a buddy’s house and will have had my fill of meatball parm sandwiches, nursing my swollen belly like an impregnated woman every mile of the way. Rashad Jennings is out for the Giants. The Eagles have a huge edge on Special Teams. Philly is a legitimate team and not Houston or Washington or the road version of Atlanta. Philly also phell asleep in the second half last week but held on to beat the resilient Rams.

It’s another home game for the Birds with a bye week ahead of them as head coaches are known to motivate and reward a team win with some extra time off heading into or out of the idle week. The Jints have another big divisional tilt with the Cowboys in Jerry World up next. While I like the way the Giants are playing, the schedule has me thinking that Philthy wins this one.
Score: EAGLES 30, Giants 24
Picks: EAGLES -3 and OVER 50.5

Let’s hear your thoughts and come back tomorrow for Buffalo Bills romantic, DJ Eberle.

Oh… And in case you doubted my abilities, here’s a screenshot from the Meet The Matts Facebook page.

Screen shot 2014-10-11 at 11.39.56 AM

P.s… The Big Dummy is making Big Money as a Preacher. Click here.

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About the Author ()

A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.
  • jgclancy

    .5 .5! Thank You Thank You Thank You Cheeseman
    May all your picks be winners today!

    • Cheesybruin

      Fish & Chips at Whistling Willie’s gets you the .5, Clancy.

      • You old queens finally squared away?

        • jgclancy

          Yes….now we can get all excited about your ” MtM hosted Angry Ward Retirement Party” next month. I’ve bought my plane ticket.

          • Mista Pedantic

            I assume we all chip in and bring him a bottle of really, really good bourbon

  • MartyStein9er

    This is the kind of game the Jets play tough. I think it will be close.

    • Cheesybruin

      Funny things happen in football but in this case the game is FIXED if they come remotely close to the point spread.

  • GrindingAxWalter

    There is just something disturbing in that Jimmy Johnson clip.

    • oblique outlook

      He’s a Cowboy. Brokeback Jimmy. Giants and Jets both lose.

      • Cheesybruin

        Sounds about right.

        • Big Blue 56

          The Jennings issue is huge. Eli needs a running game to keep Philly off the field.

          • The absence of Jennings will hamper the Giants. They will only win by 16.

    • Cheesybruin

      Starting to think you should skip the Cowboys game in order to save the stress on the heart, Walt. How ya feeling?

      • GrindingAxWalter

        When the expectations are low, the stress is not an issue, Cheese. This will be either the typical collapse or a defining moment for this seáson.

        • The Cowbgirls won’t Cowboy-up. They always choke when 1st-place is at stake.

          • GrindingAxWalter

            Defining moment ….yippy Kai yay….mother….

    • We just gave the MTM Edit Staff a bonus for that one!

  • vinny from brooklyn

    the jets only shot is knock manning out of the game.

  • We’ve got an Oliver Stone limo story from a night out with him to tell, put only over adult beverages.

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