Seperation Anxiety: College Football Picks and Points from Doc Diz

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MANHATTAN, THE ONE IN KANSAS – This the home to the Kansas State Wildcats and located in the heart of the heartland, dry land wheat country.  It’s kinda like a zit on a red heads butt… noticeable from a distance.

This weekend, those Cat’s travel south on the plains to take on the TCU Horned Frogs in Fort Worth for one of the bigger games of separation Saturday…and one that is causing considerable anxiety for the denizens of Frog nation.

tcu # 1

K-State is led by venerable coach Bill Snyder.  He coached there from 1989 to 2005, took a break, and then came back in 2008.  The old codger Bill was coaxed out of retirement is simple…K State absolutely sucks without him.  I mean, worse than pizza in Wyoming.  Really bad.

sucks

Before Snyder, the Wildcats had the most losses of any major college football program, had won only one conference championship (way back in 1934), and had been to only one bowl game in their entire 92 year (at the time) history.  They were just plain horrible.   And when he retired…they went back to sucking wind.

So they brought him back.  To coach in the stadium they named for him.  And the Cats are good…again.

Tough tenacious defense, efficient offense and a physical style of play have led the Cats to a 7-1 record and a#7 ranking atop the Big 12.  They are kind of like the coach…old fashioned, not prone to vocal displays or temper tantrums…just git er’ done.  Yep. Nope.  Uh huh.

So #6 TCU has a game on it’s hands.  The winner…leads the Big 12 and has a shot at the national championship playoff.  The loser…some crap bowl.  Yucky.

But the Froggies, whose own coach Gary Patterson is a native of the sunflower state, have speed to burn, are playing at home, and have a better D.   Patterson, unlike Snyder, is a ranter and raver who always looks like he is about three seconds away from a major coronary, and sweats more than a fat boy at a junior high dance.  Perhaps that saliva and sweat spewing about will act like magic Froggie potion..TCU 38, K State 28.

NCAA FOOTBALL: SEP 24 TCU at SMU

And this is just one of several key games in college ball this week, separating the men from the boys, in which the loser will be out of the national title hunt.  So away we go..mano e mano.

#10 Notre Dame at # 9 Arizona State…another battle of one loss teams.  Arizona State has much hotter chicks…I mean, way, way hotter.  I mean…they’re Sun Devils after all.  But the righteousness of the Domers and touchdown Jesus prevails…Catholic school boys 24, Desert Hedonists 14.

#8 Michigan State at #14 Ohio State...Whoa Nellie, bring back Keith Jackson for some good ol’ fashioned Big Ten football as the big uglies of Michigan State look to put a lickin’ on the Buckeyes..  You betcha.  Back in the 1960’s, Sparty fans used to chant “kill, Bubba, kill” to motivate All-American defensive lineman Bubba Smith, who went on to play for the Colts and then star in beer commercials..  Some good old fashioned Midwestern values at work…stomp em’.  Then drink beer.  Both teams have one loss, so loser dies.  Sparty kills the Buckeyes championship hopes 41 to 30.

keith

# 4 Oregon at # 17 Utah.  Oregon has really funky uniforms.  Because their fans are a bunch of Volvo drivin’, liberal votin’, save the gay baby whale stoners.  The Utes, who lost a heart-breaker last week, have a brutish defense and don’t even drink coffee, given that most are Mormon.  Hippies get past the God Squad, 33 to 37.

#5 Alabama at # 16 LSU.  Two schools where they built a university the football team could be dang proud of, and are more redneck than a Hee-Haw rerun.  Two loss Tigers knock off the Crimson Tide in death valley and eliminate another SEC team from playoff contention…LSU wins 19 to 13.

#12 Baylor at #15 Oklahoma…both teams have 2 losses but are still in  he hunt for a Big 12 championship.  Baylor has not won in Norman since JC fed the masses with a loaf of bread and a bottle of cheap vino.  Alas, the Okies are not in a miracle mood…Sooners 38, Baylor 34.

There are 22 inches of top soil in Kansas….worked by hard workin’ mericans that the lord didn’t make a banker or a legal charmer…he made em’ blackland farmers.  So here’s a little ditty in their honor.  With a bit of a modern twist (that crop might be headed for Colorado!)  Gotta watch the whole shebang…great video.  Till next time.

 

Tune in tomorrow for our Keith Jackson, Junoir Blaber.

 

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About the Author ()

Doc Diz resides in Fort Worth, Texas for the past 15 years. When not playing old boys rugby or skiing, he is known for sampling Maker's Mark for its medicinal qualities. A native of Connecticut, the Doc has managed to move around enough to have lived in all four US time zones, which has allowed him to get a little perspective from west of the Hudson where guns, drilling for oil and gas and Big Gulp soda pops are still legal.

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