From The Couch: Mets and NHL Playoffs

19 Comments

islanders-senators-hockeyMETROPOLIS, NY – The beginning of a new baseball year and hockey’s second season – the Stanley Cup playoffs – has found me planted on my couch watching these games until late hours. Here are some observations in rambling form:

There’s a lot of renewed enthusiasm running high around Flushing with the Mets off to a quick start but on Thursday night, in the opening game of a set against the Marlins, it looked to me like there were more attendees at The Last Supper than there were at Citi Field. The official attendance figure was over twenty thousand but as we know the business of baseball counts the number of tickets sold as opposed to fannies in the seats. Sports doesn’t have an oxymoron for beating a sold out empty stadium. In much the same manner as a pitcher hitting a dinger, Wilmer Flores connected for a three-run shot during this 7-5 Mets victory despite looking very uncomfortable holding a bat at home plate.

This awkwardness is trumped only by Islanders goalie Jaroslav Halak attempting to play the puck with his goalie stick…

The New York Rangers first round bye of the NHL playoffs commenced on Thursday when they scrimmaged against the Pittsburgh Penguins. Somebody failed to tell Cry-baby Crosby of the game because the harder I watched the action the more invisible this guy seemed. Way to show your frustration with a lackluster effort due to injuries on the backline and the subsequent failure of the greenhorns getting you the puck in transition. This series has sweep written all over it…

Just because you’re fat doesn’t mean you can’t play and perform effectively in the majors. He may have a bar-league softball physique but Angry Ward’s favorite, Bartolo Colon, has shown with his pitching arm and bat that you can be just as valuable on the field as at the buffet table. Bart and Pablo Sandoval make a lovely pair of bookends…

My disdain for the Montreal Canadiens is no secret as I hate this franchise like no other–if they played ISIS, I’d root for the terrorist clowns.  P.K. Subban is a scumbag who looked like a lumberjack while slashing Ottawa’s hottest player, Mark Stone, using a two-handed chop across the arm and felled the Senators forward like a tree.  No suspension came from the incident since the NHL kowtows to the Canadiens past, present, and future.

Greg LouganisGreg Louganis must be called upon by the Habs coaching staff to tutor players on the art of diving because these acts are so good referees questionably whistled the Senators for six penalties in Game 2 on Friday night.  I’m sick of these f*cking French Frogs…

Jenrry Mejia’s doping suspension doesn’t seem to be bothering the Mets, so far as the team appears to have stepped in shit with the emergence of Jeurys Familia saving 5 of the first seven wins.  How long before Flushing’s favorite junkyard singers, Sister Sludge belt out their smash hit “We Are Familia” in his honor?

Speaking of doping, those “training sessions,” [AHEM], with Barry Bonds are paying dividends for Alex Rodriguez and is the only explanation behind 4 HRS and 11 RBI for the aging 40 year-old.  Same sh!t, different day.

West Coast Craig, a nan that knows all about doping… tomorrow.

Facebook Comments
Share Button

Filed in: Cheesy Bruin
Tagged with:

About the Author ()

A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.

Back to Top