Biblical Mets! Noah vs. Moses! Sandy Doing Good?!


NIRVANA, MI – “Well, Hi again, everybody! What a beautiful day for baseball! Nothing but a few high, puffy, cumulus, otherwise harmless clouds up above. We’ve got a heckuva match up today. For the visiting Giants, their young, ebullient righthander Chris Heston will toe the rubber. For the home-standing Mets, it’ll be good looking rookie Noah Syndergaard on the hill. Young Noah has authored a couple of terrific starts, and the arc of his career is off to a terrific start. We’ve got Moses vs Noah today and I couldn’t be happier to call the tilt between these biblical superstars!”

We know how that game turned out.  Giants pitcher Heston tossed a no-hitter against a hapless Mets lineup. Not even summoning the late great Bob Murphy to call that one could have prevented it.  But the last week has also brought something rare to Muttsville. Change.

Giants hurler Heston after No-No vs Mets

Giants hurler Heston after No-No vs Mets

 A dizzying spate of roster moves has the Mets moving – albeit slightly – in the right direction. Yes, FSA [Fake Sandy Alderson] sees this flurry of activity as a positive.  Normally, (Real) Sandy Alderson moves with urgency for very few things. Back at his assisted-living facility, Rice Pudding Night is no joke.  It’s first come first served for the octogenarian set where Sandy hangs his Members Only jacket every night. Nothing gets him revved up quite like 5 ounces of rice pudding when a good Murder, She Wrote marathon is on the docket.  Anyway, most Met activity this time of year involves trimming the periphery of the roster. The lineup gets no-hit? We’ll show the 25th man the door. Averaging 3 hits per game for 2 weeks? Danny Muno better watch his back!

Diminutive Dandy Danny

Diminutive Dandy Danny

In Spring Training this year, Alderson said that he thought this was the deepest Mets team he’s had in 5 years: “We’ve got a quality player at every position on the field.” Last week, with the Mets using Danny “freakin’ Muno to bat 6th and Anthony Recker 7th, Sandy was hearing it from everyone that he had to make a deal for a bat.  Sandy “looked around” for about 12 minutes, and then declared publicly that the trade market was “narrow” this time of year. Closer to the trade deadline on July 31st, Sandy thinks the market will loosen. And if not, the off-season always offers more options. And of course, “We can add to the payroll in midseason,” will be the rallying cry the following Spring.  You get the point. The Wilpons are still pinching pennies and Sandy still lacks the baseball acumen to execute trades or even identify how to improve his team.

Among those positive steps I mentioned earlier? Well, Dillon Gee has been set free. DFA’d by the Mets yesterday, Mr. Payroll Flexibility is forcing his felonious bosses to eat more than $5M that should have been moved  last off-season. Anthony Recker, owner of a major league roster spot for reasons unknown to anyone not part of the “Sterling” empire, has been demoted to AAA. Recker, in my opinion is the worst player in the last 15 years to wear a big league uniform.

MLB's Worst

MLB’s Worst

Oh, and David Wright may be back by the All-Star break. Or maybe he won’t. But Sandy said so. We have no reason not to believe him, right?

Come back tomorrow for a pinch-hitter for Angry Ward not named Danny Muno. A-Dubya and Mrs. Angry are away celebrating their 10th Anniversary!

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About the Author ()

Big Al Sternberg/Fake Sandy Alderson is from a not-so-nice part of Queens. But through grit and elbow-grease finds himself living on Long Island with his bride and twin 12-year-old sons. He is a sports encyclopedia... and a loose cannon. In fact, Michael Baron of blocked him on Twitter. You can find The Blocked One's Tweets here: @AldersonFake

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