SUBWAY SERIES SPECIAL REPORT: Round One-Meet The Matz and the Mets

Meet the Matz

Meet the Matz

Flushing Meadows Corona Park—Round One: Mets. With Long Island’s own, and this site’s eponymous starter on the hill last night, how could they lose? Steven (Meet The) Matz was strong over 6 innings in beating the short handed Yankees last night. Three dingers from the boys from Queens was enough to beat Masahiro Tanaka-the Yanks’ best pitcher in game 1 of the unnecessary, but not complaining now inter-league series at Citifield.

The Yankees were without injured brat Mark Teixera-best known for showing up his 3rd base coach and shoving fans in the stands. No glove-less Alex Rodriguez on this night with no DH. And the $85M catcher who can’t hit or play against lefties, Brian McCann. This was not the Bronx Bombers. Brett Gardner was really the only concern in that lineup.

Drawing first blood by using the long ball, the Mets quelled the panic that still at this moment sits just below the surface for Met fans. As anyone over 15 years old can attest, the Met fan base should affectionately be referred to as “PTSD Nation.” Only when the division lead is 2 games over the Nationals with one game to go will PTSDN rest for a moment. 2007 was Waterloo and Little BigHorn all in one. The scars have not yet healed. And they won’t until Tom Glavine comes back to New York so fans get get their pound of his pompous, choking flesh.  Sorry…flashback.

Thor, the super hero stud known as Noah Syndergaard will most certainly blow the Bronx bullies away this afternoon. The Yanks have never faced him and will spend many moments shaking their heads on their way back to the dugout. But for pure torture and an exercise in frustration we have the final game of this series on Sunday evening. This can only mean one thing. ESPN will be doing the game. Thank God Curt Schilling let his anti-Muslim; pro-Trump vitriol loose. No more listening to that schmuck. John Kruk, nauseatingly referred to by his colleagues as “Kruky” remains and now there’s a woman joining him for some reason. Watching baseball on ESPN is horrific.                                                                                                                     

Just Shut Up Already

Just Shut Up Already




You know what’s not horrific? An NL EAST division crown. Maybe.

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Big Al Sternberg/Fake Sandy Alderson is from a not-so-nice part of Queens. But through grit and elbow-grease finds himself living on Long Island with his bride and twin 12-year-old sons. He is a sports encyclopedia... and a loose cannon. In fact, Michael Baron of blocked him on Twitter. You can find The Blocked One's Tweets here: @AldersonFake

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