Sick Wife, Super Bowl Monotony, Dry Cleaned Baseball Caps.

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sportssecEL BARRIO, EL BRONX – It’s been very hectic/long week for me, so I couldn’t find time to read the sports section. (Do newspapers still have sports sections? What’s a newspaper? Read these questions aloud in your Jerry Seinfeld voice). So I’ll “pull an Angry Ward” and just go with whatever I feel like talking about. such as…

Being Sick: Unfortunately my wife has been sick all week. I mean the kind of sick where you actually use your sick days… not just for hangovers. I am doing my best to be as good a nurse to her as she was to me after my Achilles surgery. The odd thing for me is that I grew up in a family of boys. This meant often being left alone to suffer in silence and call for help only in an emergency situation. This apparently is not how women work. Check-ins are mandatory every 15-30 minutes. So too is providing comfort, tissue boxes and all fluids next to the bed… which must be fully stocked.Sick Young Woman Lying in Bed

Hats: Among my African-American childhood friends, I am considered as being “not quite American Black enough,” and maybe they’re right. I am Ghanaian-American, so I’ve had a huge British influence on me since birth. I like my suit cut to fit, I don’t do baggy. I know what scones are and I like soccer and play rugby. One thing I’ve been told how I wear my baseball cap “white American”  style; I like to bend the front of it (no flat brims) and like it to be as dirty as possible. This of course proves that I’ve had said hat for quite some time -that I am a legit fan. In the hood of course, people keep the front flat with all of the stickers still on it. I thought about this when I saw a guy walking out of the dry cleaners with 3 baseball caps on a hanger.

Are you kidding me? I gotta check my cleaners and see if I left something valuable there, now that I think about it. Anyway, dry cleaning hats seems like too much work. I don’t even dry clean my ties when they get stained but I‘m supposed to dry clean a hat? Absolute madness and I’m happy to wear a beat-up Mets hat.

Phone interviews: I went 0 for 2 this week on phone interviews for 2 jobs. This makes my grand total 0-3. I am shocked it has been like this. According to FSA I have a face for radio, so phone cats shouldn’t care. But phone interviews are tough – who knows what the other party is doing while you’re trying to make a good impression?

Super Bowl: Can anyone explain to me why, for the love of god, there is an extra bye week before the Super Bowl? Every year I swear off ESPN because of the constant media frenzy around everything. Sorry if this sounds horrible, but you cannot survive two weeks of ESPN droning on about the humanitarian efforts of Charlie Batch.

hat

Speaking of batches and humanitarians, stay tuned for Cheesy Bruin, tomorrow. Not sure what he will talk about, but I bet it will involve betting.

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About the Author ()

Junoir Blaber is from Ghana but was transplanted to the Bronx as a young lion chaser. Blaber is the Rain Man of Meet The Matts and is a featured contributor on MTM global partner, Rugby Wrap Up. The name "Junoir" is not a cool African name. Instead, Blaber mis-typed "Junoir" on his Facebook page. But proving that two wrongs indeed do make a right, he embraced his new persona - [June-noire]... Manute Bol is his uncle and his teams are the Mets, Jets, Knicks & NY Rangers... And Manchester United. He knows soccer. [Vomit]. P.s... He has webbed toes and came be followed on Twitter here: @JunoirBlaber

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