Best Sports Fans? Cleveland, Cleveland and Cleveland


The Dodgers started our Mets DTs?!

CINCINNATI, OH – See? Right out of the gate #Cleveland doesn’t even get the respect of this article’s orign. And we’re not even in Cincinnatah. But why would we, as died-in-the-orange/blue-wool NY sports fans, give a Brown thing about this barren, depressing, fiscally-challenged, perennial black hole for professional sports? Good question. It’s likely because as lifelong Mets fans, we know pain. But that’s just one sport. We’ve got the Giants, Rangers and Knicks to pick us up and help us shake off our Mets Delirium Tremens… Well, at least the Giants and Rangers. But Cleveland? They have the Best Sports Fans. Period. They keep going back “for more” to each of their 3 professional teams: their beloved Browns, their ill-named Indians and their cataclysmic Cavaliers. Let’s take a look.

Different_Matt Waldo Meet_The_Matts

Different Matt looking… Different?

Cleveland Browns: As we were feeling sorry for ourselves this morning after seeing that Different Matt morphed into Missing Matt, eschewing his pundit duties to frolic in Dubai, we began scanning the web, looking for something to write about. First thing? And another story about Johnny Manziel. Apparently, his off-season regimen does not include throwing passes and going to the gym. Instead, he’s allegedly taken up boxing, as in the boxing eardrums of a young lady from Texas. We had an immediate reaction: it must really suck to be a Cleveland Browns fan. In fact, we tweeted our sentiments.

Even the Bills will win a Super Bowl before the Browns. Sorry Vikings fans, it’s not in the cards for you, either.

Lebron as a woman Meet_The_MattsCleveland Indians: You know it is just a matter of time before this team gets renamed. Bank on it. If we weren’t bald and our scalps were actually worth something, we’d bet them that the move to a more politically correct name happens in the next 7 years… ironically under President The Donald (his choice of titles). That aside, this team will not win a World Series in the next 50 years .

Angry_Ward Cleveland Browns

@Angry_Ward feeling… Brown.

Cleveland Cavaliers: This is arguably the toughest relationship for a fan. You finally have the arm of the beautiful woman you have been embarrassing yourself for but know she can opt out of your relationship and leave you for some really rich guy named Carmelo in New York.  Hell, she’s already smashed your heart to bits once before! Or have you repressed/forgotten when she left you for that guy Wade in Miami? She is the most cavalier of Cavaliers,  and you are in for the granddaddy of all heartbreaks; a loss in your city’s final Finals trip.

So stop feeling sorry for yourself sports fans, even you people in Minnesota, Detroit and Buffalo don’t have it as badly as somebody in Cleveland. Indeed,  Ohio’s Mistake on the Lake has The Best Sports Fans.

Come back tomorrow for a man that could own Cleveland, Junoir Blaber.





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  • Randy Levine

    Whatcha gonna do ’bout Cleveland?

  • Pigskin Paddy

    It’s their own fault. They should go to the center of town and burn their tickets. Remember what the fumble did for the New York Giants? It got everybody fired and Ray Perkins turned the organization around.

    • Wow! Invoking Broadway Joe Pisarcik! Can anyone tell us if it was it Larry Csonka or Doug Kotar that fumbled the football?

  • FakeSandyAlderson

    Remember the humiliation heaped on Cleveland when a bunch of drunk Cincinattians heaved bottles on the field at Riverfront Stadium during a Bengals-Browns game? Sam Wyche does. He jumped on the field to remind the rowdy Cincy fans that they “Don’t Live in Cleveland…they live in Cincinatti!”

    • Not that we are big conspiracy guys, but have you ever seen Sam Wyche, Marty Schottenheimer or Norv Turner in the same room at the same time?

  • Finns

    WKRP wants to interview MTMs

  • WestCoastCraig

    The only way Cleveland fans win is if they leave Cleveland. It worked for the Ravens and LeBron.

  • vinny from brooklyn

    does rooting for the jets, isles and mets not count?

  • Natmats

    Where is Cleveland?

  • AngryWard

    You don’t get dubbed “the best sports fans” simply because your teams stink and your city is so bereft of exciting things to do that you have no choice but to go to the games because, well, they are the only games in town. Have you ever been to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? It sucks (all except for a very young Jimi Hendrix’s hand drawn pictures of PAC 10 football players). That being said, I’d much rather live in Cleveland than St. Louis, which is hell on earth (apologies to SAF’s wife and in-laws). Best sports city? No sure it exists. Though by your standards, Vikings fans might be the best fans in all of sports.

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