Chocolate In Our Sports Stars

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Cheesy_Bruin Barber of SevilleEASTER ISLANDDonald Trump is a mainstay in the news these days, due in large part to his bombastic and politically incorrect run for the Republican Presidential nomination. Today is also the largely Christian holiday, Easter, and is met with a child’s delight, with all the chocolate and jelly bean-filled baskets. Combine Trump-like disregard for political correctness and this sweet holiday and we have a look at some Chocolate Nicknames of Yore and some new monikers coined after Chocolate Bars for Today’s Stars.

Joe Louis: The former heavyweight champion of the world held several nicknames of which the Brown Bomber was most popular. Chocolate Chopper was another of his aliases and had everything to do with the fact that he turned most opponents into ground sirloin. In the second of their two battles, Nazi poster boy Max Schmeling managed only two punches in a little over two minutes of action, in which he was felled three times and relinquished the heavyweight belt, in a Victor Drago vs Rocky Balboa atmosphere.

Old Chocolate

Old Chocolate

George Godfrey: Another pugilist, but this one of the bare knuckled variety, proclaimed himself Old Chocolate while holding the title as World ‘Colored’ Heavyweight Champion. Godfrey hailed from Canada and was ducked by renowned bare-fister John L. Sullivan who refused to fight minorities.
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Darryl Dawkins: a.k.a. Chocolate Thunder  Back in the day, this guy was the shizzle at 6’11” and 260 pounds!  You know you’re cool when the NBA drafts you out of high school, you play with Julius Erving, and Stevie Wonder gives you a nickname.  You’re also a monster when you shatter plexiglass backboards with enough regularity that the NBA has to install breakaway rims across all arenas.  I was also at WrestleMania II where Double D served as a ringside judge for the Mr.T versus Roddy Piper “fight.”

Jason Williams: I pretty much don’t recall any pro basketball from the dawn of the new millennium to the present but the nickname White Chocolate intrigued me enough to see what the fuss was all about. I was unimpressed–yeah, it takes a lot to raise my eyebrows but there have been many an NBA guard who dribble, distribute, and make plays. These are the different expectations of white and brown bunnies, I suppose.

P.K. Subban: The Montreal Canadiens defenseman hip checks with reckless abandon, is good and a pain in the rear end who doesn’t like to fight most of all.  Since he often “turtles” during fights, those dark chocolate with lots of nuts in the shape of a turtle are a great fit for Subban.

Rick Nash: Sorry Rangers fans but I just love beating up on this guy.  He’s a Big Block Hershey’s bar–bigger than most bars, plain, melts under the brightest of lights, and leaves a big brown stain long after.

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Henrik Lundqvist: I used to bust this guys “shoes” but the Rangers go as their all-world goalie goes.  Skor is Swedish for shoes and this candy bar is everything but what you can’t do on The King–score a goal.  A crown occupies the space inside the letter O on the wrapper and is hint that the Rangers need some “O” in order to support Lundqvist.

Happy egg hunting and come back tomorrow for DJ Eberle.

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A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.

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