Angry Ward Wednesday: Talkin’ Baseball with Harvey, Horrible Jeffrey Loria and Hard-to-Figure Hitters

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Ty kelly

Wayne Gretzky as Ty Kelly?

BRONX, NY – After two straight days of basking in the glow of D.J. Eberle’s Hot Takes (*cough* Cavs overrated. *cough*), I’m back to restore order and make everyone miserable again. As I tap this out on the keyboard, Matt Harvey is looking in the mirror, wondering what went wrong – again – after initially being up 1-0 in Washington, courtesy of an Asdrubal Cabrera dinger. Meanwhile my Golden State Warriors are an hour away from a must-win game in Oklahoma City. But let’s stick with baseball for now.

Harvey Haddit? Okay, so update, Harvey just gave up a home run to Ryan Zimmerman to tie the game. Zimmerman has been pretty awful this year, so this is something because it comes after the 3rd inning which seems to be his limit. Another update! Rendon just went yard. 2-1 Gnats. It’s only the bottom of the 4th, but this one -run lead could hold up for Strasburg. I’m still pulling for Harvey. Hope he can hold it together. I hate to see someone so young fall completely apart. Okay, so he’s out of the 4th down 2-1 with his pitch count a bit elevated. Will jump back in with an epilogue after his night’s done.

Miami Lice. Let’s just say it, Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria is pond scum. How much of a leech is he? He makes the Wilpon boys look like Will Rogers and Tiny Tim. It was bad enough that he completely bilked the city of Miami out of billions to finance “his” stadium. Then he crapped out on every promise he made to everyone, including season ticket holders. He’s now suing some season ticket holders who have rightly cancelled their contracts because the team didn’t deliver what it said it would, including such things as nice parking spaces, decent catered in-game meals, and private entrances. Nope. tony_montana_marlins Meet_The_MattsMiami has reneged on the whole schmear. And Loria somehow hasn’t been run out of town on a rail, or at least get taken down by some disenfranchised coke dealer who took over for Tony Montana and isn’t enjoying the lack of business in and around that horrendous stadium. Read this.

The Hits Don’t Always Keep Coming. I gotta say, as far as hitters are concerned, this has been one strange season. A few new names have emerged: Jean Segura (Arizona), Stephen Piscotty (St. Louis), and Martin Prado (Miami) to name a few. But a bunch of guys who have been absolute money in recent years have been absolute dog crap at the plate this year. Here’s a small sampling. Troy Tulowitzki (.205), Prince Fielder (.202), Andrew McCutchen (.249), Josh Donaldson (.250), Joey Votto (.203)… the list goes on and on. But one old-timer is still getting his knocks. Ichiro Suzuki, toiling in absolute obscurity in Loria’s Gay Miami Disco Gulag, has been having himself a year in limited duty and as an injury replacement. He’s currently hitting (.385) and only 40 hits shy of 3,000 for his MLB career. Incredible for someone who started that career at age 27, and had well over 1,000 hits in Japan. Go Ichiro!

That’s it for tonight. Harvey gave up a bomb to Murphy and left down 5-1 after five innings work, in a 7-4 loss. “I’m really surprised,Terry Collins said. “This guy’s too good. He’s just way too good to continue like this.”

Golden State got killed, too. 118-94. Time for a drink. Collins should grab one, too.

 

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Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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