Horrid Harvey Hurt, Hottest Sports Reporter, Done BMC, Garth Brooks to Yankees

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2016-05-20 07.33.30_1463744253205

Who is that masked man?

NEW YORK, NY – As we watched the Dark Knight get his can kicked by Bain Washington from section 123, all we kept thinking about was how lucky Mets fans are that the Carlos Gomez for Zack Wheeler and Wilmer Flores trade didn’t go through. After the massacre was over, and the bloodied former Ace was exposed – not like in ESPN’s Body Issue – we got on the Twitter and saw some things about the Yankees worth mentioning. With that here’s what’s on the agenda: Horrid Harvey Hurt, Done BMC, Garth Brooks to Yankees

Horrid Harvey Hurt: Remember when Johan Santana and Pedro Martinez started getting shellacked wearing a Mets uniform? Well, times that by ten in the Angst Department. Those guys had careers before they went down. Matt Harvey has had a career of Hype, Injury and Misdemeanors. And if he’s not hurt – but he is – he’ll end up in the minors. Sure, the bad defense didn’t help and Murphy is on fire but Great Seaver’s Ghost, all of Gotham is asunder!

Well not all of Gotham…

Done BMCDone BMC is alive and well in the Bronx. The Yankees have some Flava Flav coming at teams from the bullpen, now that the wife-beater is armed and [more] dangerous. By the way, the New England Patriots and Miami Hurricanes have nothing on the Yankees in terms of stocking their roster with cheats and those of ill-repute. But hey, they can flat out pitch in the last 3 innings. But getting to Done BMC (Dellin Betances, Andrew Miller, Aroldis Chapman) is the key. And can three closers really suppress their respective egos when the other flocks things up? Will we be looking back after the smoke clears and nostalgically say, “Yep, that was when 7 – 8 – 9.” (Get it? 7 ate 9?)…

Crystal Marie Denha Meet_The_Matts

You’re welcome.

Speaking of Friends in Low Places, Garth Brooks will be part of Yankee Nation. This must have George Steinbrenner vomiting someplace. His boys Hal and Hank soiled The Stadium’s sacred ground with Soccer… now Country Music? That’s just pathetic. Only the likes of Junoir Blaber, who has no discernible taste, is happy about this. In fact, when he heard the news he beamed, “Well slap my ass with jelly and bury me in an ant-hill!

Last but not least…

The Hottest New Sports Reporter is? Crystal Marie Denha. Watch her watch a grown man cry.

That’s all for now. Please share your wisdom below, follow us on Twitter (@MeetTheMatts) and Facebook (Meet The Matts) and come back tomorrow for a man that hates moths, Junoir Blaber.

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  • vinny from brooklyn

    harvey looks dead.

  • buffalobilly84

    And the hits keep coming Mccarthy with hot babes. My source for it here.

    • We aim to please. But it’s tough work.

    • Cheesybruin

      Crystal Meth should be her nickname.

  • Cheesybruin

    I’ll drive Harvey to the airport if someone is stupid enough to trade for him. It’s a buyer’s market for him.

  • AngryWard

    Boras is already crafting his statement, blaming Harvey’s woes on last year’s pitch count. I think he’ll get it back, but its come so easy to him so far, someone needs to tell him there’s some work involved. His first few starts this year he looked like he’d been out partying until 3 am. As far as the Yanks? “Done DMC” is absolutely stupid, and so Yankees.

    • Junoir Blaber

      He has gotten arrogant.

  • Junoir Blaber

    Soccer is in Yankee Stadium is horrible, pitch is too narrow.

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