Sharks Eating Penguins, Hot Sports Babes, Thor-Gate, Yanks Stank, Praying In Rome

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First off… We may send @TheTallMatt back to Rome to pray for Chase Utley.

sharks-fan3SAN JOSE, CA – The San Jose Sharks versus Pittsburgh Penguins for the Stanley Cup. Kind of like an ice-cold facecloth on a 100 degree day, because it’s refreshing not having to see the likes of the Blackhawks or Kings representing the Western Conference for the first time… in forever.

For all hockey fans out there, the NHL is trying to maximize television ratings by withholding network coverage of Games 3 and 4, based upon the series standings after the first two games. This season, Monday’s Game 1 will air on NBC, but Wednesday’s Game 2 will be on NBCSN. NBC Sports announced Friday that if the series between Pittsburgh and San Jose is tied 1-1, Game 3 will be on NBC, putting that pivotal match-up on the main network. Game 4 would be on NBCSN. But if one team leads 2-0, Game 3 will air on NBCSN, with a possible championship-clinching Game 4 on NBC. The potential final three games will remain on NBC. Pens in six.

Confused? You should see the MTM Edit Staff:

I’m told Memorial Day weekend means auto racing, so if you weren’t invited to any barbecues yesterday, you still probably didn’t watch the 100th running of the Indianapolis 500. They’ve been at this crap for a century? Watching fancy European automobiles make a series of left turns is just as exciting as those hillbilly NASCAR types. “Normal gentlemen, start your lawnmowers!” ’cause maybe you did something useful during ABC’s coverage that started at noon and lasted until the 200 laps or 500 miles was completed. I ask: Is this a sport and are the drivers athletes? Please help me out on this one.

Sharks_Cheerleaders-600x258

“Gimme an S!”

NFL mini camps wrapped up this past week and I hope a pivotal player on your fantasy or favorite team didn’t go down with a bad injury… like there seems to be every year.  Nothing good comes out of having football players hit the field in limited drills earlier than absolutely necessary.  Hand out playbooks and let the big palookas study their assignments and roles until real camp in late July.  It’d save a lot of fan grief.

Noah Syndergaard tossed Meet_The_MattsThe great American pastime is in full swing with the weather finally having warmed in the tri-state area. The Mets finish a series with the visiting Dodgers today after getting robbed on their special night by a green umpire. They have every reason to be Thor this morning.  Next up, the Metsies welcome the Pale Hose ot CitiField tomorrow, while the Stankees continue their road swing through Tampa and then Toronto.  If I were MLB commissioner, I’d bring back the pay one price doubleheader for holiday weekends such as Memorial Day and Independence Day, so we all have another option besides the beach or racetrack or whatever the hell else people do these days.

The NBA Finals begin on Thursday and (yawn) like this column will put me to sleep if I watch at all.  Zzzzzzz.  That’s all I’ve got for today.  Have a safe and happy Memorial Day and come back for Short Straw Winner, DJ Eberle!

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A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.
  • vinny from brooklyn

    colon better hit a dodger tomorrow.

    • That’s how they got their name, you know. Dodging chin music become they’re such froggin’ jerkballs.

  • Junoir Blaber

    Thor was wronged. Revenge shall be ours!!

  • Maureen

    Why pray for Utley? haha Roma!

  • Lots going on here, Cheese Man. Not the least is Tall Matt sighting. it’s like seeing a vaquita dolphin. Bing it, Baby! But Thor-Gate is the real story. It’s the biggest crime against humanity since O’Malley killed Brooklyn and John Quill got red-carded – in California last night! What is it with the left coast? Do they really want to throw down? Go Pens! #BoycottCali

    • Donald Trump

      Dont worry, California will fall into the ocean any day. Unless I don’t want them to.

  • Dog Man

    Not a Mets fan but that was ridiculous. That ump should be suspended.

  • AngryWard

    Thor should not have been ejected. A little league ump would have got it right. But, and this is important, if you’re gonna hit him, HIT HIM! The Mets always seem to screw up the easiest things. I will die laughing if Bartolo plunks him on the first pitch tonight though. That cat yakking up a hairball sound you’re hearing is coming from Oklahoma City.

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