Cheesy Bruin’s Weekly Free NFL Picks, NFL Notes, Tom Brady Divorce Rumors?

foxy babe fire Meet_The_Matts
Fox… fire… #Gratuitous

ENGLISHTOWN, NJ – To borrow a line Lynyrd Skynyrd used on their One More From The Road album, I am as hot as a fox in a forest fire… when it comes to my Cheesy Bruin’s Weekly Free NFL Picks. On the season my 65% success rate is solid but the past four weeks I am an ungodly 75% against the spread. I don’t even care if the audience is passing my picks off as their own and only hope you are profiting from the advice because I certainly don’t have the expendable income to benefit. You know how it’s done by now, one favorite, underdog, over, and under. Here are this week’s gems.

sadFAVORITE Here’s an equation for gamblers to not overlook. Team A is 0-2 on the road, coming off of a bye which means a little something, were pounded 43-14 in their last game, and have lackluster wins over the New York Jets and Houston Texans. Team B is at home, on a three game win streak, and have little trouble scoring points but Las Vegas has installed them as underdogs. Whether it’s algebra or calculus, it just doesn’t make sense and therefore I will dub this pick my Jaime Escalante NFL Lock of the Year. Stand and deliver with Kansas City (-1.5) over OAKLAND RAIDERS.

gisele-and-tom-brady-2
Tom and Gisele are fine as far as we know but stealing from Trump’s playbook, “catchy” headlines get views.

UNDERDOG Bill Belichick always says we’re thinking about the upcoming opponent as if to say, “This organization doesn’t look past any team.Bullshipth. They are looking ahead to Pittsburgh next week and have to quickly figure a way to deal with one of the best offenses in the league. It’s a sports adage called taking your eye off of the ball and they are guilty of it today. While Cincinnati visits Foxboro wounded and desperate at 2-3 after consecutive L’s, I don’t know how the Cats get it done but they cover the hefty point-spread. Tom Brady is fresh having taken a month vacation with Gisele and isn’t facing the Browns defense this week however. I get a gut feeling this is a nail-biter that the Pats lose outright. Cincinnati (+9) over NEW ENGLAND

mnfOVER Monday Night Football has become the weekly “stinker” on the NFL schedule-they either flat out suck or become uncompetitive.  There’s no Howard Cosell or Dandy Don Meredith to save us from these contests.  Is anybody geared up for the Jets@Cardinals?  Yup, I didn’t think so.  And who’s this new guy calling the MNF games with Chucky Gruden?  Borrriiing!  The only way tomorrow is interesting is if the league fixes it to a shootout.  Call it another conspiracy but Jets/ARIZONA OVER 46.5

UNDER The Green Bay Packers just aren’t playing with the same offensive panache that we have become accustomed as they seem to be running the ball more with great efficacy and forego the explosive deep ball throws. The Dallas Cowboys cover defensive warts with a ground-oriented offensive line and keep the opponent in front of themselves on defense. This one adds up to Dallas/GREEN BAY UNDER 48.

That’s it. Please comment below and come back tomorrow for a giddy DJ Eberle, whose Buffalo Bills are as hot as me. Almost… And please follow us on Twitter – @CheesyBruin & @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.

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About Cheesy Bruin 491 Articles
A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.