TOWER OF LONDON – We’re here in London at the site of some of the most gruesome acts of torture in the history of mankind. And guess what? You can get a walking tour with a chipper chap describing all the gory details to this day. Why the Brits would keep reminding the world of their beyond barbaric past made little sense until our guide suggested that these kinds of places keep folks in line, keep them in step. All there nodded with a collective uncomfortable laugh before continuing on, nervously looking over his or her respective shoulder… repeatedly. That has us thinking about what Queen Elizabeth might hand down in terms of torturous punishment if either the NY Giants, who are here, and the Chicago Cubs, who are in The Colonies, fail in their respective missions this weekend.
Joe Maddon & The Cubs: Not since the Fab Five (Jeter, Pettitte, Bernie, Posada, Mariano) gave Dopey Joe Torre a roster of can’t-miss, hungry stars, have we seen the likes of what Maddon has at his disposal. Plus, the Dodgers only have two guys to neutralize: Kershaw and 2017 Mets closer Kenley Kenley Jansen. If he doesn’t win, he should be drawn and quartered… after a good tar-n-feathering. Just rip the stuffing out of him!
Big Blue: If the Jints blow this one, Coach McAdoo is rumored to be up for impalement through the bowels and then a limb-loosening week on the rack… after being forced to watch Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton ruin the institution that is the Alfred E Newman Smith Dinner with lead-balloon one-liners, over and over and over…
Needless to say, both coaches need this next one. Hip, hip!
Go Indians!
That’s all for today. Please comment below, come back tomorrow for King Junoir Blaber and please follow us on Twitter – & @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts
