Bernie Sanders, Millennials Killing NFL, Rangers Rampage

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COLTS NECK, NJ Egalitarianism will destroy sports as we know it.  Write it down and mark my words. The NFL is already feeling the effects of the Millennials and their distain for personal achievement!

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Bernie Sanders, The Pied Piper of  Individualism & Intolerance, should band up his following of Starbucks-loving, Chipotle-eating little brats and hostilely take over the office off the NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. Currently they are busy tossing avocado slices at The Northern White House, Trump Tower.  

Will somebody please tell them it’s time to concede? It’s been over for ten days ! Mexico is offering sanctuary cities nationwide for disenfranchised liberals. If that is not to their liking, Hillary Clinton, Van Jones and Rachel  Maddow are hosting a Cruise to Nowwhere with special guest pro, Colin Kaepernick.  This special lifelong vacation will depart New York on Thursday, January 19th.  Why Thursday?  With the Inauguration of President Donald J. Trump scheduled for Friday, January 20th, this will enable guests and their hosts to consume a special concoction of gluten free alcohol and barbiturates while  leaving the USA.

Welcome to The Cruise to Nowhere!

Welcome to The Cruise to Nowhere!

Let’s get back to the demise of the league. NFL revenues will plummet as the US generation boycott a sport that selectively eliminates teams and allows, get this, ONE team to get the trophy! Truly fascism at its worst!

While those greedy Baby Boomers trade their season tickets for huge environment polluting RV’s sold by despicable capitalists such as your very own Grinding Ax, the younger generation will be planning protests of anything that rewards individual accomplishments.  Combine in the sissification of the masses, a gladiator sport like football is doomed!

Recently, I have found time to catch some NY Rangers hockey. Their west coast rode trip enabled me to stay up late and torture my Devils loving spouse by turning up the volume when Sam Rosen chanted out goal after goal for the Blueshirts. img_1015JT Miller had been mentioned in multiple trade rumors, however, he is the leading scorer on a team that is dominating opponents with precision passing and speed.  Michael Grabner, Jimmy Vesey and Pavel Buchnevich have elevated the games of veterans on this game team.  Fans are optimistic again as Henrik Lundqvist does not have to win games all by himself. I am looking forward to this team, once again, dominating the Cryers of Philadelphia! 

NFC East is actually looking fairly legitimate. Have you seen this weeks Power Rankings?

Well, that’s it for now. Filling in while the rest of the staff is at grief counseling has been fun!  Come back tomorrow for my favorite black man, Junoir Blabber , or someone else???

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Filed in: FeaturedGrinding Ax Walter Hynes (GAW)
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About the Author ()

"Grinding Ax" Walter Hynes (GAW) comes from the same Sports Royalty bloodlines as Short Matt... He's heaving hatchets off the heads of any deserving Sports Personalities... His favorite teams are the NY Rangers, Detroit Tigers, Dallas Cowboys, NY Jets and Manchester United... A suburban husband and father of two, Walter understands what it takes to be a second-guessing, sideline-heckling parent and coach.
  • BobbyKennedy

    Now that is funny stuff.

    • Era, era, era…

    • GrindingAx

      Nothing funnier than Ted after a few libations.

  • AlexanderBorisDePfeffelJohnson

    Egalitarianism is for fools.

    • Spoken like a true monarchist! Speaking of Kings, what’s up with Sacramento?

  • AngryWard

    Leather helmets and no facemasks will save the NFL… nah! But I think it will be a combo of millennials and concussions that do it in.

  • Junoir Blaber

    We can agree on the disdain of Sanders.

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