NFL Stuff: Giants Sputter, Big 4, Possible Interlopers, Unwatchable Jets, Tom Brady Record


WESTCHESTER, NY – It was a tough weekend for our heroes, the NY Giants. The defense did its part, with Olivier Vernon and Eli Apple playing particularly well, but the offense sputtered again. This offense has more starts and stops than a porn set. Er, I assume. While this year’s top draft pick is trending up, last year’s is not. Erick Flowers gave up 7 QB pressures (compared to 4 for the rest of the line combined) and had 2 penalties. His holding penalty in the end zone resulted in the first points of the game. Flowers was the lowest rated tackle in the league of the week by Pro Football Focus. Don’t we have any other options at all? Is Will Beatty alive? Why the hell did they even sign that guy? I’m still hopeful they can make something happen down the stretch, but it’s gonna take a whole lot of duct tape to fix this line.

Will one of these future HOFs get a third ring?

Will one of these future HOFs get a third ring?

It’s fun to watch Eli and Big Ben compete, both have similar career stats and will be forever linked by the 2004 draft. They sure play a different game though. When Eli drops back and doesn’t deliver it on time, you think “oh crap.” When Ben holds it and start improvising, that’s when his magic happens.

Speaking of QBs, Tom Brady broke the record for most wins all time by a starting QB with 201*, passing Peyton Manning. Tack on as asterisk though, as our MTM Statisticians have calculated that without Spy-Gate, Deflate-gate, and the probability of 3-5 other “gates” that we never found out about, Brady would have won only 9 career games. So, he still has a long way to go yet before he catches Manning.

Typical Trump Voter

Typical Trump Voter

With week 13 in the books, the contenders are still looking a bit murky. Maybe not top 4 in college football murky, but kinda murky. Sure, the top 4 are easily New England, Oakland, Dallas, and Seattle, but these princesses have some warts. New England is far less intimidating with the Gronk terrorizing coeds on his party boat instead of D-coordinators on Sundays. The Raiders and Cowboys have dominant O-lines, but I’m not sure if they can hide their defenses all the way through the playoffs. Attention Jerry Reese: O-lines are important. Seattle is getting healthy on O, but they have been mighty inconsistent and losing Earl Thomas hurts. You don’t want to play them in Seattle though.

I see the playoffs teams looking something like this.

AFC: New England, Oakland, Pittsburgh, Indianapolis. Wildcards: KC, Denver
NFC: Dallas, Seattle, Detroit, and Atlanta. Wildcards: NY Giants, Tampa Bay

Oh what the Post could do with Jim Bob Cooter

Oh what the Post could do with Jim Bob Cooter

So who are the interlopers with a legit chance to pull a 2007 Giants, sneak in and ride a hot streak all the way to Houston? The Lions and Steelers look like they have a shot to crash the top 4 party. Suddenly Matthew Stafford is getting MVP buzz, as Jim Bob Cooter has turned that team around. Have the Jets considered giving their head coach job to this dude? They should do it for the terrible name pun NY Post headlines alone. The Steelers are coming on with their big 3 intact and hitting their stride.

The Jets looked sharp last night. Why Ryan Fitzpatrick is anything but an emergency QB at this point is beyond me. Do you believe that guy held out and had a tirade about the team giving up on him this year? This is a team in total disarray and they get to fly out to SF next week and take on the Niners, another team in the midst of a meltdown. If the Niners and Jets merged tomorrow, I’m not sure you could put a decent team on the field. Tune in for that one!

Come back tomorrow for Angry Ward. I think. Does he even work here anymore? Also, follow us on Twitter at @benwhit8 & @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.

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About the Author ()

Ben Whitney comes from journalistic stock. Aside from his brothers, rumor has that his great-great grandfather was the youngest brother of Eli Whitney and covered the earliest "rounders" games. Big Ben is also another New York Rugby Club player/pal of Different Matt, Short Matt and Junoir Blaber. He likes film noir discussions, has twin girls and took up ice hockey after retiring from rugby.

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