Big Ben Tuesday: Knicks Poo, QB Heavy NFL Championship Games, Jets Bare QB Outlook

32 Comments

Stamford, CT – There’s a lot going on in the Whitney house these days. I’ve got month old twin girls keeping me up at night, taking turns crying in a suspiciously coordinated manner. Meanwhile, my lab puppy Chief has been vomiting a few times a day. He ate a sock, it turned out, but he would immediately eat it again every time he threw it up. Yum! Darwin might rethink his theory, had he met my pup. With all that going on and the Giants eliminated from contention, it’s hard to ramp up the energy to write a column. But I’ll try not to mail it in. Good news though, Chief was finally able to pass the sock out of his other end. Even he won’t eat it again now.

Not my dog, luckily

Speaking of stuff coming out the other end, I was able to catch a little of the Knicks game on Monday. The Knicks annually honor the memory of one of the greatest Americans by getting their asses kicked on his holiday. (Editor’s note, the Knicks actually have a pretty good record on MLK Day.) Shut it Matt, I’m trying to be funny.

I have a dream that Carmelo Anthony will step into the lane and draw a charge. I have a dream that Carmelo Anthony will be judged not on his ability to score, but on the content of his overall game.

The Great Mindaugus! This guy could protect the rim, I’ll wager.

The Knicks thought about winning this one for a minute, but decided against it. On the bright side, they did move Lithuanian Superstud Mindaugas Kuzminskas into the starting lineup. Of course we’ve all heard of Mindaugus, the famed ruler who founded the Lithuanian state back in 1236, but who the hell is this guy?

Nice toss by Aaron Rodgers. I feel terribly for Cowboys’ fans. No wait, the opposite of that. I daresay that Rodgers might be better than Brady. His ability to feel the rush and move in exactly the right direction is uncanny. Throw him on the Pats instead of Brady and he might have more rings. Note to Jets’ brass: Rodgers, Roethlisberger, Ryan, and Brady are the four QBs left. QBs are important.

Matty Ice’s Turn?

The Donkeys won last year with defense, but that’s not gonna be the case this year. I know decent QBs are hard to find. But even if you think Christian Hackenberg is the answer (and if you do, welcome to MTM, Mrs. Hackenberg), the Jets are gonna have to be involved in the Tony Romo/Jay Cutler “Sweepstakes” just for a place holder. Anyway, the team who has the ball last could win both of these games. I’m rooting for Matty Ice, because he’s the only one without a ring, and for his cool nickname. My hockey teammates call me Benny Ice. Mainly because I fall to the ice a lot. But it’s still cool.

We’ll see you tomorrow for Angry Ward, a man who is not above eating his own puke. Follow us on Twitter at @benwhit & @MeetTheMattsInstagram @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.

Facebook Comments
Share Button

Filed in: Ben WhitneyFeatured
Tagged with:

About the Author ()

Ben Whitney comes from journalistic stock. Aside from his brothers, rumor has that his great-great grandfather was the youngest brother of Eli Whitney and covered the earliest “rounders” games. Big Ben is also another New York Rugby Club player/pal of Different Matt, Short Matt and Junoir Blaber. He likes film noir discussions, has twin girls and took up ice hockey after retiring from rugby.

  • jgclancy

    Eh, MIndaugus was just okay….couldn’t cover his flank to save his life when it counted most. So he would have been a great Knickerbocker forward.
    Should it finally be changed to ‘e-mailing it in?” -just a thought for all MtM writers
    The only good ending to this NFL season would be a Falcons title…..
    Coffee is good…..4 days until we set our calenders back to 1217

    • If you aren’t rooting for Aaron Rodgers at this point, you are missing a few screws.

      • jgclancy

        Haha—spoken like a non-Viking fan would.What kind of screws? Drywall, stainless steel, brass, reverse thread, pan head, self tapping,anodized,zinc coated,etc….

        Let’s see: Marcia Brady=NO, Rapistberger=NO, A-aron= NO which leaves Matt Ryan of the Atlanta Falcons who should get the MVP this year.Atlanta has never won it all and doesn’t get the press but if they keep playing like they did against Seattle they could win it!

        • benwhit

          They could. Everyone went from “they always choke” to “wait a minute” pretty quickly.

  • All is good in the world now that the Cowboys have once again disappointed their misguided, fair-weather fans. Moreover, the only redeeming quality about Dallas was their cheerleaders, but league has long since caught up. Heck, even the Browns have that “box checked.” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/afca466351850373ef94efe8405ca0633feaa19b13e49054d95fc1f735ee5e64.jpg

    • benwhit

      What about Big Blue?

  • AngryWard

    Interestingly enough, my dog threw up this morning. I cleaned most of it up, but when I went to get another bunch of paper towels he ate the remainder. Speaking of puke, there is no such thing as a Jay Cutler Sweepstakes. He sucks and has the worst permanent resting b!tch face ever. If the Jets sign him, I’ll never stop laughing.

    • Dude

      the use of sweepstakes to see who signs a free agent is getting tired. its not ed macmahon pulling someones name from an envelope. they meet negotiate and sign. there is no ping pong ball random drawing.

      • benwhit

        I put it in quotes. Come on. Thought about calling it sh!tstakes.

        • Dude

          that wasn’t a dig at you ben. it just pisses me off that some dope at espn coined it and made it part of the vernacular. much like i despise when some sports pundit says a team should sign a “richard sherman” like there are several of them available

    • benwhit

      You’re right of course, but what are they gonna do? Go into the season with Petty and Hack? When Geno is an upgrade, it’s trouble.

  • Dude

    rodgers is a solid qb for sure, but the only reason to root for him is he has best shot of beating the pats. that GB-Dallas game illustrates exactly why the NFL has become a bore. yeah it was an exciting game but its getting dull waiting to see who has the ball last and chucks one up for a 6’3″ dude to grab. It used to be called a hail mary because it was extremely unlikely to connect. Now its a 50-50 shot. LAME. good football features defense and a running game.

    the knicks are truly god-awful. i have an absurd and toally unfounded optimism about the bockers because they are the only team everyone in NY roots for, if they won it would be an unbelievable celebration. my optimism has been crushed maybe for good. look for them to trade away any assets to try to go for it this year- go for it meaning make the eight seed and get swept by the cavs. then re-enter the wilderness for another 15 years

    • benwhit

      I see your point but I think Ryan and Ben could take out the Pats. Maybe Aaron is the best hope though. That Tomlin video getting out is bad for business, if you’re a Steeler fan.

      I disagree on the Rodgers throw. All you have to do on D is cover the deep sideline. Too far for a Hail Mary. Terrible D. Most teams would’ve ran the ball there and taken their chances in OT. Incredible.

      • Dude

        i’m talking in general how many games are won by the team possessing the ball last with less than 2 minutes on the clock. it didn’t used to be like that and the game is worse for it

        • benwhit

          Agree. It’s amazing how many teams can get in FG range after receiving the kickoff w 23 seconds left and no time outs.

          I was disputed your 50/50 Hail Mary thing. Which feels true for Rodgers (it’s the trajectory) but not the league.

          • Dude

            he certainly connects on them better than anyone. it would be interesting to see the number of hail marys that connect league wide now versus in the 70’s-80’s-90’s when 3 yards and a cloud of dust reigned supreme

          • benwhit

            The NFL has done everything possible to speed up the hand, but slow down the last two minutes

          • benwhit

            Don’t think I want the to go back to the 3 yards and a cloud of dust days though.

          • Dude

            perhaps not, but a happy medium where the running game and smash mouth defense play a part would be welcome. also the kicker should be abolished as a specialty position. it should just be the best kicker on the team

          • benwhit

            Agree.

            Also agree about the kicker but I’m not sure how it would be enforced. You might see Adam Vinatieri, a backup safety who never gets in on D.

          • Dude

            the rule could simply be that the person must actually play a position, not just be buried on the depth chart. I guess if a team wants to have a weak nickle defender who can kick 50 yarders that would be their decision.

          • benwhit

            But he wouldn’t actually be a nickle defender. It’s just bookkeeping. Call him the #3 QB. I think you’d have to shrink the rosters.

    • AngryWard

      The Knicks finally got to you, eh? I never thought I’d live to see the day. This is a bigger Hot Take than anything DJ Eberle thinks is. You’re right, of course. The Knicks are a dumpster fire. The Nets, however, are a Port-O-Potty fire.

      • Dude

        the knicks should have a team that is at least watchable with the personnel they have. i don’t think i’m asking too much. the nets are so irrelevant now their hats don’t have fans anymore. the team, never did.

  • Different Matt

    The Phil Jackson experiment has been a disaster. It hurts to say but he Knicks were better under Isiah

    • benwhit

      He does seem to totally lack the ability to adapt. But that’s harsh.

      • Dude

        i don’t think he cares at all… happy to cash the checks and do as little as possible. working for the knicks is like working for the district attorney in chinatown… forget it jake… its the knicks

  • AngryWard

    At this point, I’m thrilled I no longer have to watch Zeke Elliott do his insufferable “keep feeding me” routine.

    • benwhit

      Every first down Zeke? Really?

      Did you notice my “mail it in” link?

      • AngryWard

        Now I did. How dare you, sir. That was a restaurant-quality column right there.

    • GrindingAx

      Zeke is hungry ! He has started a trend. I think I saw Henrik Lundqvist do that during warmups recently, after which he gave up 5 goals.

  • Junoir Blaber

    I am hoping James Dolan get caught with an awful recording like Sterling so the Knicks can be sold to a proper owner.

Back to Top