Angry Ward Wednesday: NCAA Basketball, Pats in Sports, Other March Sadness, Sports Weather Emergency

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BRONX, NY – Today is March 15th, a magical time of year for Irish alcoholics (redundant?), people who like throwing away their money on NCAA Basketball pools, and psychopaths who enjoy blizzards after the temperatures have already climbed over 70 degrees. Let your freak flags fly, people! Watch that awful/awesome “Leprechaun” movie that Jennifer Aniston doesn’t want anyone to ever see again, pick South Dakota State to go to the Final Four, and make snow angels in brown slush behind a New York City bus. Let’s do this!

Bracketology. The NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament is upon us. There will be plenty of people with dozens of takes and predictions but, know this, the best thing about March Madness is the first weekend, and then it’s kinda over. The first two nights, in particular, are the best. Upsets aplenty, games in the afternoon when you can duck out of work at lunch and grab a quick drink and catch the action, and late night match-ups that are far more compelling than anything coming out of the NBA’s Los Angeles teams. But once it’s down to 16, it’s pretty much all chalk and one or two dark horses hanging on. Enjoy the first week, and then bail until the final.

Sports Paddys. This Friday is St. Patrick’s Day, and it brings to mind (at least this mind) what notable Pats have graced the world of sports. Some quick ones come to mind. Not Patrick Roy, because fück that guy. Instead, how about Pat Riley? Nah, too slick. How about Craig Patrick? He was an assistant coach on the Miracle on Ice U.S. team, but not much after that. OK, I got some great sports Pats… and not the New England Pats, because they get enough slurping. For starters, how about Patrick Ewing? He may just end up being the last great New York Knicks player, until James Dolan croaks and someone, anyone, takes control of the team. Pat Ryan was a longtime NY Jets backup QB and one of the few Jets that I could actually stomach. I’ll leave it at that. Pat Summit, great basketball coach. Butch Patrick (aka Eddie Munster) could bunt better than 99.9% of today’s major league baseball players. Our former MTM contributor, Cookie, once had a thing for tennis player Patrick Rafter. Finally, not a lot of people know this but, this site was going to be called Meet The Pats, until Pat LaFontaine asked for too much money and Pat Morita passed away.

Lousy Smarch Weather. This late winter blast is enough to make Will Rogers punch a nun, and it doesn’t help that it’s coming in the Glenn CloseFatal Attraction” month on our calendar. Most of us can roll with the punches, but once Spring Training starts, and Tim Tebow gets a hit, God should really call off the rest of winter. It’s bad enough that we have to go through the motions until April. Speaking of which, I am bringing this post to a merciful close.

Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, a young go-getter who has yet to be beat down by the weekly grind of writing for this site and suffering its Rain Man-like management. And you can find us on Twitter at @Angry_Ward@MeetTheMattsInstagram @MeetTheMatts and our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.

P.s… PLEASE heed the warnings in this MTM Breaking Sports Weather Report Emergency:

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Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception… he’s flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, “Angry Ward’s ‘anger’ is a direct result of “Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan.” As if that weren’t enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, “Don’t have a enough short, white angry guys but I don’t dislike them… that much.” A-Dubya is MTM’s longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

  • Drunk In Joisey

    Not all of Jersey vanished. Trenton and parts of Jackson are still standing. But your right — nobody cares about the Devils.

    • buffalobilly84

      Trenton is like Buffalo. The armpit of the state. Haha And Mccarthy knows that weather is like July up here! Hopefully Timmy T ?can get that hit and be a new groundhog day thing !

  • Cheesybruin

    Ward, I think Craig Patrick put together the Stanley Cup Penguins teams in the early ’90’s. Butch Patrick swung a telephone pole of a big bat for such a small guy. And Patrick Ewing remains the most underappreciated New York sports star of our time.

    • AngryWard

      Good call on Craig Patrick with the Pens, Cheeseman. I wonder if Eddie Munster grew to be as tall as his Dad. Herman was a a bigger multi-sport legend than Bo Jackson and Deion Sanders combined.

      • He became an adult film star… no wait. That was Eddie Muncher.

    • Fluffy

      Unless Ewing can undo the fact that back in the 80s and 90s he never once figured out that if he was triple teamed he probably had at least one open teammate not named John Starks to whom to pass the ball, he will forever remain under appreciated.

      • Mr Dolan

        He is not welcome at the Garden

      • For ten years people have been saying how under-appreciated Patrick Ewing was. That means that for 10 years he’s been acknowledged as underappreciated… Ergo he is appreciated. Duh.

  • benwhit

    I spy a different nose on Rachel

    • AngryWard

      Yep.

  • GrindingAx

    Ward, let’s not forget a NJ legend, boxer Pretty Pat Prisco. He dominated at South Mountain Arena and Ice World in Totawa in the early eighties.

    • AngryWard

      He’s in the New Jersey Boxing Hall of Fame. Who knew? Who knew there was such a thing as the New Jersey Boxing Hall of Fame?

      • GrindingAx

        NJ is full of corrupted former boxers.

  • AngryWard

    I don’t know about everyone else, but I LOVE it when Short Matt tacks on a video of himself to one of my posts. It’s sincerely flattering.

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