Angry Ward Wednesday: No Column, But Free Booze! And Power Play Girls

24 Comments

BRONX, NY – To me, there’s nothing all that compelling to write about. Ben Whitney handled the Mets and Yanks current status earlier today. The NHL playoffs died for me after the Caps/Pens series ended. Seriously, who cares about Nashville, Anaheim or Ottawa? And no one outside of Western Pennsylvania can want to see the Penguins win another Cup. What’s left? The NBA Draft Lottery? I’d sooner pass a kidney stone. NBA Playoffs? Please, I’ve talked about the Warriors so much that even I’m sick of it. And Cleveland will absolutely trounce Boston. Book it. How about a comprehensive rundown of the upcoming French Open? No?

Babes and Booze on ice!

Look, I’m open to suggestions here. In fact, let’s make this interesting. Talk about anything you like in the comments section today: sports, movies, politics, food (I’m looking at you, Clancy), whatever drifts in and out of the transom of your mind. Let’s see where it goes. I’ll even make it more interesting. I’ll happily give up a $150 gift certificate to lovescotch.com that’s been burning a hole in my pocket, to whoever comes up with the best thread. I’ll have to ask Management, if those things are *transferable though. They gotta be, right? Booze must be transferable. We need to be able to give each other booze now more than ever.

Tanaka and his puppy.

Whatever the case, I’ll chime in with some of my own thoughts as time allows. Though, for this week, I’d much rather counter-punch off of you guys.

Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz who I am quite certain doesn’t think that Masahiro Tanaka will win the Cy Young this year.  And you can find us on Twitter at @Angry_Ward, @MeetTheMatts & @Matt_McCarthy00, Instagram @MeetTheMatts and our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.

*Management says no but reserves their right to “change their mind.”

 

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Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception… he’s flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, “Angry Ward’s ‘anger’ is a direct result of “Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan.” As if that weren’t enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, “Don’t have a enough short, white angry guys but I don’t dislike them… that much.” A-Dubya is MTM’s longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

  • Buddy Diaz

    Hey Ward,
    Have you watched any of the recent boxing movies “southpaw” or “I bleed for this”. Want to know what you think because I’m debating on watching them. My most recent was Creed and I loved it but I love everything but Rocky 5 and even that has grown on me somewhat through the years. Also I watched Warrior not too long ago and though it’s MMA, it’s a hella of movie!

    • AngryWard

      I haven’t seen any of the recent boxing movies. But I have a couple of fun old suggestions, if you can find them. One is “Fat City” starring Stacy Keach and Jeff Bridges and directed by the great John Huston. The other is “Diggstown” with Lou Gossett Jr. and James Woods (who I used to like until I learned about his lousy political leanings). Let me know if you see any of these new ones. That’s the thing about boxing movies, when they get them right they can be some of the best stories around.

      • jgclancy

        Good ole Diggstown ..mediocre yet compelling. Try watching the Power of One–yeah,the book was better but it’s a good boxing/apartheid movie.
        Just don’t watch the 1979 remake of The Champ….kill yourself first…..that is all.

    • Buddy, you like Tanny’s puppy? The Stanks will be golfing before the Mets this year!

      • benwhit

        And Ward’s the drunk?

  • jgclancy

    After your lousy Mariners smelled up the MLB you received good GS Warriors news with a dirty break in the NBA. Kawhi Leonard gets hurt by a low class hack and Spurs have no chance now. The End.
    Or is it…..just had the Lasagna Fairy stop by with a tray of lasagna.now if I had some scotch to go with it that’d be grand.
    Hockey is over for me but I cheer for Ottawa…how are they doing?
    In other news – my genealogy stuff is fun. Finding more Clancy descendants everywhere—-they all like to talk about food too!!!
    Time for some coffee and breakfast cake -maple frosting!

    • jgclancy
    • jgclancy
      • Buddy Diaz

        Do you make your own sauce?

        • AngryWard

          That’s a lotta lasagna. It looks like you need a case of Blue Moons to wash all of that down. Hmm.

          • jgclancy

            Scotch I said! Blue Moon will do….Go A’s!

          • buffalobilly84

            Speaking of sauce, how red are Mets fans eyes from crying right now??

        • jgclancy

          I make my own sauce but that’s ad dfferent story. Haha
          The Lasagna Fairy brings me this -I didn’t make it.Yes , AW -it’s a lotta lasagna.I give half to neighbors–even the one that likes rubgy

    • AngryWard

      I think the foul on Leonard was unfortunate and maybe flagrant, but we’ve seen a lot worse. And, yes, believe it or not I would rather these teams play each other at full strength. I think San Antonio without Leonard does have no chance. That being said, his ankle was hurt going in, so this doesn’t all fall on GS. Your lousy A’s beat my lousy Mariners last night. Be happy. Finally, cake for breakfast? I’m in.

      • jgclancy

        Yes…neighbor dropped off some chocolate cake with maple flavored topping-perfect with coffee! Perfect for hearing about an A’s win too!

        • NCAA Hypocrisy never eats cake.

          • jgclancy

            It just takes the cake ……

      • benwhit

        Every team needs a clumsy goon to accidentally fall on the injured star’s ankle. #roleplayer

  • Thomas The Tank

    Is this meet the chefs? Your slippin Mccarthy.

    • Thomas, we have to let Drunky Ward stretch his legs every now and then. He is that good.

  • benwhit

    I feel a lot less like I mailed it yesterday after reading this. Was that 150 words?

  • GrindingAx

    Ward, can we place bets on who will lose a game in the NBA playoffs first?

  • Cheesybruin

    Watching the Mets is a lot like watching the shit comes out of my dog’s ass. Matt Harvey did good by his standards today…5.1IP 3ER and left with a one run lead. Looks to me like a guy who doesn’t care anymore.

    • Junoir Blaber

      Preach!

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