Angry Ward Wednesday: The Met Gala vs. The Mets’ Gala, Rangers, Yanks and NBA

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NEW YORK, NY – The other night here in New York the Metropolitan Museum of Art hosted its annual “Met Gala” for all manner of glitterati and starf**kers who like to dress up like imbeciles and have their pictures taken by a rabid bunch of camera-wielding monkeys. It’s quite the scene. I was shocked when MTM management got me a press pass to the event, only to discover that I was invited to an altogether different shindig out in Queens called “The Mets’ Gala.” Here’s how it went.

Very Red Carpet. The Met Gala has your standard red carpet situation, where celebutards roll up in ridiculous limos and pour themselves out onto a red carpet, ready to be interviewed by highly-varnished talk-bots. The Mets’ Gala carpet starts out snow white, but halfway through it’s crimson red, soaked through with the blood of injured Mets players. Also they get interviewed by mouth-breathers and cloud-yellers like Short Matt and yours truly.

Notice a certain someone/pundit in the white dinner jacket!

Q & A. Attendees at the Met Gala get asked softball questions like “Who’s your date tonight?” and “Who are you wearing?” Followed by answers like “I’m with my coke dealer” and “I’m wearing Prada.” At the Mets’ Gala the main question is “What are you wearing?” The answers are things like “neck brace” and “arm cast” and “an elaborate network of trusses.”

Notable Attendees. This year’s Met Gala was hosted by Anna Wintour, Tom Brady, Gisele Bündchen, Katy Perry and Pharrell Williams. The Mets’ Gala was hosted by The New York Hospital for Special Surgery and Horse Racing at the Meadowlands. The Met Gala sported names like Rihanna, Aziz Ansari, and anyone named Jenner. The Mets’ Gala featured names like d’Arnaud, Duda, and Cellino & Barnes Injury Attorneys 1-800-888-8888.

***OK, here’s the part where I cop to the fact that I really thought that there was going to be a writers’ strike and I was going to use this week to show some solidarity and join the picket line. There’s real stuff going on in sports as I write this. Here it is.

Rangers/Ottawa. This was clearly going to be a bounce back game for the Blueshirts and they are up 3-0 in the second as I try to finish this off. Look, there’s no way the NHL isn’t rooting for the NYR to advance. Hell, I want them to stick around! Rangers vs. either Washington or Pittsburgh in next round would be awesome.

Mets, Yanks, and NBA. Still recovering from The Mets’ Gala, the Mets are trying to win their second straight in Atlanta. Matt Harvey does not look like a guy about to cash in on a big contract… The Yankees are bouncing back from getting shelled by the worst team in baseball last night and are back on track to finish just out of the playoffs… Speaking of playoffs, my Warriors kick it off against a Utah team that I think just might give them fits.

I need to eat dinner now. Come back tomorrow for a heaping helping of Buddy Diaz and probably some Yankees propaganda. And you can find us on Twitter at @Angry_Ward, @MeetTheMatts & @Matt_McCarthy00, Instagram @MeetTheMatts and our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.

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Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception… he’s flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, “Angry Ward’s ‘anger’ is a direct result of “Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan.” As if that weren’t enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, “Don’t have a enough short, white angry guys but I don’t dislike them… that much.” A-Dubya is MTM’s longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

  • jgclancy

    Sure leave us hanging…what ya have for dinner?
    Go Rangers

    • Big Blue 56

      Rangers looked good last night. Glass added some toughness.

      • Glass finishes checks on… the glass. But keeping the long-named kid out on his behalf is a crap-shoot.

        • Cheesybruin

          Gimme Glass over Buchnevich in any playoff game!

          • GrindingAx

            Agree. Glass is an antagonist that can occasionally grab a point

    • AngryWard

      Trust me when I say, everyone in my household eats better than me… this includes the dog and maybe the plants. Tonight I’ll be making pork chops though, so there’s that.

      • Chips and hummus. Standard at MTM HQ.

        • AngryWard

          #Sad

      • jgclancy

        Shake n Bake? with apple sauce?

  • DannyBax21

    Sorry but The Judge is the only story. Aaron Judge is the newest superstar.

  • Cheesybruin

    Ward, the Rangers have more things fall their way with the Crosby concussion–I don’t know how Sid dresses up any time soon. It’s not everyday you get slashed in the back and then cross-checked to the head on the way down.

    • AngryWard

      I know!!! That was like a two-man professional hit. Is the NHL doing anything about it? If not, I would not fault the Pens for crippling Ovechkin.

      • Good luck trying to take out the Ruskie. He’s a snarling, tough comrade, not of Crosby’s cloth. But note, Crosby is one tough SOB himself, whether you want to admit it or not.

        • AngryWard

          Rocky Balboa took out Drago, and no one thought that could be done. Never say “never.”

  • benwhit

    Were you the mouth breather or cloud yeller?

    • AngryWard

      Cloud yeller.

      • What of cloud breathers or mouth yellers? Mad Dog is a cloud breather. Bobby V is a mouth yeller.

  • Maureen

    That picture is very funny! Love it! Mrs Mets hair is great. Haha

    • Can you believe the people that attend these things?!

  • Buddy Diaz

    The Mets Gala hosted by the Hopsital for Special Surgery was a classic line. Made me laugh!

  • GrindingAx

    Ward,
    Which is more insignificant? A Red Carpet Gala or the White House Correspondents Dinner?

    I think the League is pulling for a Canadian team to raise the Cup after a drought of 24 years. That Molson is getting real skunky.

    • AngryWard

      Red Carpet Gala more insignificant. WH Correspondents at least helps show that the Prez can take it as well as he can dish it out.

      If the NHL is hoping for a Canadian champ, or even Cup participant, they have to be pinning their hopes on Edmonton. At least there’s some history there. Ottawa would probably be their last choice of North of the Border teams. I’d still drink that Molson, by the way.

  • WestCoastCraig

    The writer’s strike was averted by a last second deal to get MTM writers more press credentials.

    • AngryWard

      That’s a win-win. We get into more events, and the professional writers look all that much more better.

  • Randy Levine

    What are we chopped lover?

  • DJ Eberle

    Haha nice piece Ward. The whole Mets’ Gala made me laugh.

    However, I think the Yankees are a playoff team this year. If they keep playing at or close to the level they’re playing right now, they’re at worse a wild card team.

    Also, for those curious, Gary Sanchez looked good last night. Should be in the Yankees’ lineup Friday. It’ll be interesting to see if Lehigh Valley steals on him tonight. I think that’s what everyone’s waiting for.

    • AngryWard

      I saw your report on Sanchez on FB. Looks like his swing hasn’t left him. I was hoping for your “Hot Take” on Buffalo firing their GM after the draft. Like the Mets, Buffalo always seems to get it wrong.

      • DJ Eberle

        Doug Whaley’s been on the outst way before the draft. From what I’ve heard and read, the only reason he was still there was because Buffalo didn’t want him to leak everything. While I like Whaley as a talent evaluator (Tyrod, Mike Gillislee, Ronald Darby, Preston Brown), he couldn’t put it all together and always put all of his eggs in the wrong basket. Once he moved on from Tyrod and the rest of his staff and coaches didn’t, he was a goner. Plus, from all accounts, Sean McDermott has blown the Pegulas away. And me to be honest. McDermott is a prove it guy, which was why they didn’t extend Sammy Watkins. At least not yet. I like McDermott’s attitude and approach. While I think this season will be tough because of the schedule, the future is bright.

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don’t think I could handle any more.

  • Junoir Blaber

    The Rangers have been the better team in this series for 7 out of 9 periods! They should come back to win in 6

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