Tingling Finger: Mets Quiver With Familia Feeling, Dark Knight Crumbles, Cardinals Fan Is Judge For Jeurys

11 Comments

Precipice – a very steep rock face or cliff, typically a tall one.  Roman adage – “add insult to injury.” 

DENVER, CO – I serve you all with this word, as this is the most fitting palabra that I can think of for the Mets season. I server you with this adage as its origin in parable is uniquely fitting for most of our viewership.

Parable of Phaedrus:  A bald man who swats at a fly which has just landed on his head, but instead hits himself on the head. The fly comments, “You wished to kill me for a touch. What will you do to yourself since you have added insult to injury?

For those that haven’t fallen asleep yet here is the connection:

Jeurys Familia had surgery on a blood clot in his shoulder in my home town of St. Louis, MO yesterday.  This likely leaves him inactive for the rest of the season.  Thus, the Mets and all their fans stand on the precipice of golfing long before October, and I am going to add a plethora of insults to the Mets current injury-laden condition.

It’s like he’s real! (Photo by Peter Kramer/Getty Images)

First up on the hot seat: Sandy Alderson
Preceding the Wednesday matinee game that Jeurys subsequently blew with his performance, Sandy was told by Jeurys that he had a “tingling finger.”  Outside of sitting on your hand for an extended period to gain pleasure during masturbation or sticking your finger in an electrical socket, there are no real reasons to ever have a tingling finger…Who am I to judge, though? Stranger things have happened.  Either way, as a pitcher who has been tossed by a negligent coach after expressing medical issues, I can understand the desire and attempt to perform is Familia to me. [Cough, cough]  No one wants the ball taken from them.

Second up: Curtis Granderson
This man needs to trade in his walker for a Walk him.  Currently batting .139, a walk is the only way this old timer is going to get on base and yet he has played in 32 games.  There has to be someone on the farm that can at least get to the Mendoza line.

Tinsel needed… Photo Mark LoMoglio/MiLB

Third up: Jose Reyes
Similar story to Grand Daddy, Jose is batting .183.. Hose B could probably hit .183.  REPLACE HIM.  The Mets should be calling up Amed “Tinsel Teeth” Rosario their top prospect in the farm and just make it his job to lose.  If your short stop is hitting .183 then there is nothing to lose in benching the former franchise player.

And finally….
Last on the hot seatas always with me –  is John Elway with my segment of “Things John Elway Would Say
Vance Joseph to Elway: “John, we need to vet out who our pick is for Mr. Irrelevant.”
Elway to Joseph:. “I thought that title was called head coach around here.

That’s it… Please bloviate below and check us out on Twitter @MeetTheMatts, @Matt_McCarthy00, Instagram @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts. And come back tomorrow for a man who eats his palabras often, @CheesyBruin.

Facebook Comments
Share Button

Filed in: Cam JamesFeatured
Tagged with:

About the Author ()

Cam James hails from Missouri and is a down-the-line St. Louis fan: Rams, Cards, Blues… Thus his occasional “Ram Rules” column. He hates Kansas basketball, lives in Denver, been a wrestler, dabbled in Ultimate Fighting and plays hardball. Oh, and he’s Opie Taylor white.

  • Junoir Blaber

    The Mets physio team is the worst in sports. They are the ones that need to be on a hot seat.

    • The clot didn’t happen over the course of the game. It was there. This is one where they actually got him to the hospital quicker than ever, for what is 99% of the time nothing. Can’t fault them on this one.

  • Babe Roof

    Acloser doesn’t matter if your starters can only go 5 innings.

    • But you still need a closer…

    • Cam_James

      Closer matters most when starters are average. Makes middle relief strategy easier to know you have to get to 8 not 9 and you also need every win you can get when starters aren’t doing well. Just ask Trevor Hoffman who did most of his work on hapless San Diego. Without him that franchise might have gone 0-163

  • Cheesybruin

    Cam, I watch the Mets and wonder in amazement how they’ve managed to win so many games with the two gaping holes that are Reyes and Granderson in the batting order and the absence of Cespedes.

    • vinny from brooklyn

      because conforto and rivera are hitting

    • Cam_James

      It is not going to stand up to 162 games. Power on the lines skill up the middle mean nothing when a player is below the Mendoza line. Comforto and Rivera can hit all day but with 1000 at bats below Mendoza at production positions. Mets are doomed. Notice I didn’t mention Travis in the catcher spot. 212 hitting catcher is league average.

  • benwhit

    Loved the tingling finger line

  • buffalobilly84

    Who is that Mets girl and why havent you boneheads put her up before????? ?

  • AngryWard

    Who has surgery in St. Louis? Isn’t that where Dr. Nick Riviera hangs his shingle?

Back to Top