Angry Ward Wednesday: Yanks Reject Bryce Harper, World Cup Porto Party, and Utley Amazin’ Thor Video


BRONX, NY – Look, it’s late. I think I’m losing what’s left of my mind. Against a lifetime of better judgement, I decided to take my kid to see the philharmonic in the park tonight. Who am I??? Just got home a shade before 11. Not good for her, but worse for me. I’m just gonna glance at the latest sports stories and offer up some minimalist bullsh!t. Enjoy.

Christian_Okoye, Meet_The_Matts, Chase_Utley, Bryce_Harper, Yankees

Yankees clearly don’t want Bryce Harper. Soccer Goal Urinal, Meet_The_MattsThey hit him twice last night and he had to leave the game! Whatever happened to letting a guy down gently?

World Cup Predictions. Wait, you really thought I was gonna hit you with my vast global soccer know-how? C’mon, people. Let’s just say Portugal, because I really want to be in Portugal right now. Failing that, it’s all about Nigeria, because they produced one of my favorite semi-recent football nicknames, “The Nigerian Nightmare.” Christian Okoye was da man.

The Mets are going nowhere, but check this out! This is great video and even better audio from 2016 when the Mets tried to get retribution for Chase Utley’s takeout slide of Ruben Tejada. Gotta love ump Tom Hallion here. Great stuff.

I’m seriously tired. This is it for this week. Register your complaints below. Thanks!

Come back for Buddy Diaz, who thinks Bryce Harper would be a part-time player on the Yanks.

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Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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