Angry Ward Saturday: What About Junoir?

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BRONX, NY – Where in the wide, wide world of sports is Junoir Blaber this Saturday? This is his spot in the lineup. He can’t be “busy.” He lives in Buffalo fer crissakes! What’s he out stocking up on snow shovels and ramen? I’m not here to pinch hit, I’m here to make sure there’s no empty frame in our box score. Here goes.

Knicks Fans Want Durant. Well, duh! Of course they do! But after he single-handedly took the Knickerbockers apart last night with a 25-point 4th quarter, 41 point overall effort, it’s almost like the Knicks and their fans were swooning like bobby-socked Frank Sinatra worshipers of yore. Like most well-rounded individuals, Durant likes New York, but that doesn’t mean he’s gonna choose to play here next year. I’m not saying he definitely won’t, but I’m betting that he is starting to get used to the idea that he can win a title almost every year on the right team. That definitely won’t happen on the Knicks next year. They simply aren’t ready.

Long Night in LA. Did anyone stay up to watch the longest World Series game ever last night? It reminded me of the underrated John Landis movie, Into the Night. I couldn’t make it much past regulation, but probably could have had their been even a little offense. When Mookie, JD, and Xander go a combined 0-18 for the Red Sox, and they still manage to hang around that long, you know LA has got their work cut out for them. Also, Boston has got to find a way to keep Jackie Bradley Jr. in the lineup. He’s got World Series MVP written all over him if he can get the at-bats. Finally, Manny Machado just seems like such a douche. Great player, but the kinda guy that probably isn’t gonna be great in any clubhouse. Go get him, Yankees!

Vikes vs. Saints. Really looking forward to the rematch of “The Minneapolis Miracle” game on Sunday Night Football tomorrow night. Minny and New O, have developed a fairly contentious rivalry in the short amount of time. Look for both explosive offensive plays and stupid penalties.

OK, I’m done. Come back tomorrow for Cheesy Bruin who righted his wavering wagering ship last week by going 2-2. I predict his picks will go 4-0 this week.

 

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Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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