Angry Ward Wednesday: Dolan’s Dumb, Westbrook’s Wild and Odell is Out!

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BRONX, NY – Lots going on in the world of sports these days. I don’t really give a sh!t about much of it, but that’s never stopped me before. Today, I’m gonna talk a little bit about Fan Etiquette, NFL Free Agency, and Spring Training Babe Ruths, among other things. Let’s do this.

Dopey Dolan & Wild, Wild Westbrook. Over the past few days we’ve had a couple of fan-related incidents happen in the NBA, both amusing for different reasons. In his Monday column, our own Buddy Diaz called for James Dolan to sell the Knicks. The exact same sentiment was offered up by a fan in the stands at the end of a recent home game, where the Knicks once again put on a clinic on how to play Hide-and-Suck. Dolan did not take the fan’s suggestion to sell the team lightly, and moved to have him banned from future Knicks games. To me the headlines should have read: DOLAN HELPS FAN REMOVE MSG FROM DIET. In any event, he looked like a moron taking the bait like that…

Meanwhile in Utah, a state known for it’s boorish behavior, some dumb fan started jawing with OKC’s Russell Westbrook (not exactly my favorite player) but made a comment about Westbrook liking to be on his knees or some such thing. Westbrook responded to this jagoff by saying “I’ll f**k you up. You and your wife.” I’m not sure if he needed to go after the wife, but as judges say all the time: I’m gonna allow it. Sounds about right. The “fan” in question has since been banned. so, we’re basically batting .500 in NBA fan bans this week.

OBJ Traded! As I am sitting here writing this, news has come in that the Giants have traded noted punting net lothario Odell Beckham Jr. to the Cleveland Browns for the 17th overall pick, the 95th overall pick, and safety Jabrill Peppers. While I’m sure there are Giants fans that are going to hate this deal, it sounds like a pretty decent haul to me. OBJ is a great receiver but, with his history of on-and-off-field antics and injury history, he probably wasn’t worth keeping on this current Giants roster. Cleveland, meanwhile just moved to third choice to win the AFC, behind New England and KC. And to think I was going to make the football portion of this post about Anthony Barr standing up the Jets and going back to my Vikings, which cracked me up.

The NY Mets Are an Offensive Juggernaut. If Spring Training is any indication, the Mets are gonna tear the cover off the ball this year. I mean, these guys are raking! Robinson Cano, Dominic Smith, and Pete Alonso are all hitting north of .400. We know that solid spring play always translates into regular season stardom. Of course, I’m kidding. The Mets have always had guys who killed it in the spring only to disappear on Opening Day and never return. So, this Grapefruit League race to see who wins the Mets’ coveted Butch Huskey Award for Emperor of the Exhibition Season looks like a two-horse race between Smith and Alonso. Stay tuned.

Y’know, I was gonna talk about some other stuff, but something tells me the Beckham trade should carry the day… or Le’Veon Bell to the J-E-T-S.

Come back tomorrow for DJ Eberle, who thinks the Bills getting Cole Beasley and John Brown is a major upgrade at wide receiver in Western New York. Oh wait, he’s at Spring Training and needs a pinch-hitter.

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Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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