BRONX, NY – It’s after 9 on Tuesday night and I’ve really got nothing that I’m all that interested in writing about. Must think of something fast. Something taking minimal effort yet generating enough of a word count to keep management off my back. Got it. I’ll fall back on an old standby. This post is going to be about all the things I will NOT be writing about this week. Trust me, sh!t like this always works in a pinch. Maybe not for the readers, but definitely for me.
New York Yankees World Series Chances. I’d rather not think about it, thanks. If they do manage to win it all, I will be looking into getting some Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind treatments.
Kirk Cousins. My Vikes are 2-1, but there’s no hope with Cousins at the helm. He’s no bueño. Tommy Kramer was a steadier signal caller. Eli might be an upgrade too. At this point I’m waiting for the end of next season.
Renaming Bridges and Tunnels. Just stop it already. It’s The Triboro and The Tappan Zee and it’s The 59th Street or The Queensboro, but it will never be The Ed Koch.
Daniel Jones. Ben Whitney already weighed in on him and others will follow. I’ll leave this to the diehards. But I must say, even if he does turn out to be an incredibly accurate passer, you guys have to come up with a better nickname than Danny Dimes. Whenever I hear it I think of Joey Nichols. No nickname at all also works.
Trump Impeachment Inquiry. Oh no, I’m not going there. I see quite a few people are getting themselves all excited about this, as though something might actually happen. But I’ve seen this wretched movie too many times already. I’m out. Wake me when it’s over.
Bryce Harper and Manny Machado. Both signed longterm deals, made a sh!t-ton of money, hit around .250, and helped their teams to 4th place finishes. Why waste my breath?
Mickey Callaway. I’d join the chorus of fans calling for the Mets to replace their manager, except that they’ve shown they can do much worse. See Howe, Art, and others. So I’m going to sit this one out as well.
And I’m sitting out the rest of today. See how easy that was? Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who unsuccessfully lobbied to have Herald Square named after Carmelo Anthony.
