Angry Ward Wednesday: You Can Stick “Stick to Sports” Right Up Your Ass!

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BRONX, NY – Yesterday Deadspin’s Deputy Editor, Barry Petchesky got fired by his bosses for not “sticking to sports” when it came to content for the site. Not sure how many of you read Deadspin, it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is when dumbass ownership groups, in this case something calling itself G/O Media, take over longstanding publications and websites and either try to shackle their content or sink them altogether. You’ve heard “stick to sports” from places like ESPN as well. It’s absolute bullshit, and it’s also a dangerous trend. Limiting the scope of your coverage also greatly limits creativity and the ability to connect to sometimes larger stories, more important issues, and different audiences. It’s also a whole lot less fun.

OK, I’m gonna climb on down from the soapbox now. But, in solidarity with Deadspin staffers, I’m NOT going to stick to sports today.

Awww Nuts! With apologies to peanut allergy sufferers, I will be giving out Snickers and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups for Halloween tomorrow. I did buy one small bag of Kit Kats for you guys, but I really have a difficult time supporting any candy bar that doesn’t have some sort of nut component. When there’s leftover candy, it’s gotta be something I like.

The Irishman. I’ve purposely avoided most of the trailers and promo stuff for Martin Scorsese’s latest, The Irishman. I understand it’s about a bald, chiseling hard-on named McCarthy who runs a weird website with lead-pipe cruelty. Really looking forward to it.

Book Corner. Trying to read more these days because I figure it’s better than sitting in front of the TV every night with a bourbon trying like hell not to watch any of the news shows. Finally finished Jimmy Breslin’s book on Damon Runyon and quickly revisiting The Catcher in the Rye for the umpteenth time. Holden calling everyone phonies while having a nervous breakdown really hits the AW sweet spot. Anyway, I’m up for recommendations, particularly funny stuff. Fire away… all two of you.

Falling Back. This weekend we turn back the clocks one hour so that we can go from the depression of early-morning darkness to the more crippling depression of early-evening darkness. This Saturday night is also one of the best drinking nights of the year, when you’re in a bar at 2 am, and all of a sudden you’re back to 1 am. Set ’em up Joe! I’ll be asleep.

I’m inching up on a passable word count for this week’s Angry Ward what-have-you, so I’ll save some for whatever other fill-in columns I’ll need to write later this week. I’ve got at least 250 words on why umbrellas suck, so try to temper your excitement.

In the meantime, I know there was an important game last night, so feel free to discuss. Buddy Diaz is back tomorrow with his thoughts on what might have eventually happened to Clarence Beeks at the end of Trading Places.

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Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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