If I'm perfect this week, maybe she'll let me watch her poop

Rolling In It- Last week I offered four picks for the NFL Conference Championship games.  In response, our very own Lori Levine made a wonderfully strange offer: if I nailed them all, I could watch her pee. I hit three-out-of-four.So close. So close, but yet so far. Sigh . . .

So while I might not get the pleasure of pursuing a kink I didn’t even know I had (I’ve already got a lot, but for the record, I’ll add any Lori or Cookie tell me to), I can still take pride in a solid week. I’m on a roll, so let’s get on to the Super Bowl picks.

New England 3 New York O/U 55

Terry Bradshaw and Roger Staubach also had a Super Bowl rematch a few years after their first go around. Both games (X and XII) were barn-burners, and Good defeated Evil each time. Now Eli Manning and Tom Brady are renewing their grudge match. Will the forces of Good continue to stand tall in the face of pure evil?

There’s certainly an element of déjâ-vu beyond the familiar quarterbacks. On defense, the Giants can still generate an impressive pass rush with their front-four. And New England’s offense is still a Tom Brady-led juggernaut that passes first and needs to be sneaky in order to run the ball with any effectiveness.

But there are also some important differences that lean the Giants’ way. First, Manning is a better quarterback than he was four years ago. Admittedly, New York’s running game is far worse than it used to be, but that still balances out to a higher scoring offense overall. Meanwhile the Pats’ defense is a mess, ranked 31st in yardage allowed.

SidenoteMTM readers, pipe in with comments if you can think of a past Super Bowl favorite with a worse defense than New England’s current squad.

Real QBs wear 12

So where does this leave us then? None of this is easy. For starters, I like the Over, but playoff games generally, and the Super Bowl in particular, is notorious for having O/U numbers that are a good bit higher than they would be during a regular season match up. For example, these two teams combined to score only 44 points just three months ago, yet for this game it’s 55.

Why is the Super Bowl O/U number always bigger than it should be? Because the game brings out casual bettors. You see, the Super Bowl is to gambling what St. Paddy’s Day and New Year’s Eve are to drinking: amateur hour. And just as casual drinkers mistakenly believe that sweet libations make for a great time, casual bettors mistakenly believe touchdowns are easy to come by.

Betting the Under is a subtle wager that requires sophisticated analysis. But it’s easier for yay-yo’s to imagine a rash of touchdowns than it is for them to contemplate the role defense and special teams play in tempering the score. Amateur drinkers clog the bars in the name of St. Patrick, and casual bettor clog the betting parlors in the run up to the big game. The first group produces rivers of vomit, the second group a flood of Over tickets. The first group pushes up the price of a 7&7, the second group pushes up the O/U number up.

It’s a real hassle.

Bet on it

Nonetheless, I think if you’re gonna play this one, you’ve gotta lay the 55. The Giants might keep the Pats in check to some degree (and if they do, they’ll win). But I don’t see the Pats stopping the Giants all that much. This game probably won’t go over by a whole lot, but I do think it goes over.

While touchdowns should be a plenty, it’s that damn field goal I’m really worried about. Specifically, the  three points New England’s laying as the favorite.

Let’s be honest. Either team could win this game. As far as I’m concerned, it’s a 50-50 proposition. And so at a neutral site, this line should probably be a Pick `Em. It’s a very tough call. But when in doubt, take the points.

Plus, I really hate the friggin’ Patriots.

I like the Giants and the Over

I also like Cheesy Bruin to post a top flight preview tomorrow. And remember kids: don’t bet the house, because none of us actually know what the hell’s going on.

  • Oregon Pete

    Did you mean wosrt defense for the Pats? Their offense is very good.

    • Anonymous

      One never knows with The Public Professor. One also can assume that he was “over-tired” when he typed this up… And likely a bit “foggy” once he brushes away the empty cans and smoldering butts… Wait, this just turned pornographic! 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Johnathan-Wicklow-Barberie/100002678012365 Johnathan Wicklow Barberie

    I bet two meat pies that the gridiron team from NJ? bests the one from England by a score and a conversion!

    • Anonymous

      That’s “New” England JWB. But we’ll back you on the meat pies – 4 pies says the Giants win, wherever they’re from!

  • RamTough12

    Because it’s indoors – assuming the roof will be closed – I smell a track meet. Both teams over 20 points… I see the Patriots squeaking by. The Giants Offensive Line looked horrible and Woolfork is an animal when he’s right and he’s going that way now.

    • Anonymous

      RamTough12: Your sense of smell is off. Take your nose out of Woolfolk’s derriere and sniff the Big Blue sky.

  • ToughGuy5

    Was the guy puking after watching Brandon Jacobs try to gain a yard on 3rd and 1? Pats will win big!

    • Anonymous

      Hey, ToughGuy5… Two words for you: David Tyree.

  • http://twitter.com/Different_Matt Different Matt

    I’m with you, PP. I like the Giants and the Over. The Giants suspect secondary will give up their share of points and Eli and the Giants should be able to march down the field at will.

  • http://twitter.com/CheesyBruin Cheesy Bruin

    PP, I’m saving my prediction for next week.  Let everybody enjoy the Pro Bowl first or hopefully there’s a Clint Eastwood marathon instead.  As for the worst defense in a Super Bowl…I’ll take a shot in the dark and say the Kurt Warner-led Rams or Cardinals.

  • Johnny Rox

    I can’t even see this game being close!

    The Pats defense sucks! Plain and simple! However, they’ve proven that they can win by out scoring the competition. But without one of Brady’s key receivers (Retardski) they’re left with the other big tight-end and that little kid Welker. I don’t think it’s gonna be enough to make it interesting.

    Giants win big and win easy!

    BOSTON SUCKS!

  • Anonymous

    We’ll be talking sports and breaking wind later today if anyone wants to join us at the Chili Cook-Off Benefit for the Meg Votta Memorial College Scholarship Fund. The proceeds raise money for two scholarships to  Under-19s; one college bound boy and one college bound girl. If you like GREAT CHILI & you’re near NYC, you must join us and the USA’s Oldest Rugby Club, the New York Rugby Club. Here’s the info: NYRC Spicy Chili Saturday!!  146 W 46th St, 3-7p O’Briens Sin Bin  $25 includes all the chili you can eat and two beers and beer specials. To benefit u19 scholarship fund. *Seven chili chefs, good variety including a vegan for all you vegetarians out there.

    • http://twitter.com/RugbyWrapUp Rugby Wrap Up

      We’ll be there!

  • http://twitter.com/Cookies_Corner Cookies Corner

    Thanks Prof.

    I like the Giants too.I don’t like the puke picture.
    Kink + Me + Lori = Great

    • http://twitter.com/CheesyBruin Cheesy Bruin

      March 17th…

      • http://twitter.com/CheesyBruin Cheesy Bruin

        2013!

  • http://ThePublicProfessor.com The Public Professor

    I’m in Sonoma county.  I erased the Bradshaw/Staubach pic by accident.  I’m not long for this world

  • Anonymous

    I don’t know about worst defenses going into the Super Bowl, but worst defense “in” a Super Bowl? How about that Denver team that lost 55-10 to SF. Or didn’t San Diego give up like 6 td passes to Steve Young one year? Both pretty awful. New England’s D is not good, but they played a bit better at the end of the year and won’t come close to allowing 40+ points. No chance.

  • CKocur2694

    Since the Giants were given this miracle gift of playing in the S.B. this year thanks to Kyle Williams. I can’t in my right mind root for anything from Boston. I have to root/hope/want to see the Giants tear the Pat’s 50 new asses next week, and make Tom Brady look like that drunk dude sitting in own yak. 
    Boston SUCKS, F&#K Belichick (Jimmy H would smack the s&%t out him then pimp him out on the corner by Gillette Stadium.) 

  • Johnny Rox

    Chara 108.8 mph!!!

    WOW!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Junoir-Blaber/512502691 Junoir Blaber

    This will be the worst superbowl ever!!!!!!!!!!! At least for a Jets fan!!