Cowboys Spank The Giants! Dallas 24, Super Bowl Champs 17

The Giants don't even have cheerleaders!
Cheesy Bruin: Cowboys Spank The Giants

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ – It has become customary for the NFL to showcase the reigning Super Bowl Champions in a stand-alone primetime game that ushers in another football season. For Dallas Cowboys fans like myself, the only way our team plays on this night is if our opponent holds the heavyweight belt. Football folks still enjoy hating on the Cowboys and beating them on the scoreboard. But on this Opening Night, we all got to see the Cowboys Spank The Giants!

When an owner is a despised blowhard like Jerry Jones who makes statements like, “We’re gonna kick the Giants ass,” it can spell trouble for the guys on the field. As a team, the men of the metallic silver helmets and blue star manned-up and cashed the metaphorical check by punching the time clock and in turn the Super Bowl Champs in the mouth on Wednesday night.

Here’s how America’s Team b*tch-slapped the home-dealing Super Bowl Champs:

Tony Romo threw what was destined to be a pick six for the game’s first score, except a desperation horse-collar tackle kept Michael Boley from the end zone. A half the distance to the goal penalty made a touchdown all but academic with the ball inside the three yard line, but the stout and very game Dallas defense made Ahmad Bradshaw lose yardage on back to back carries and on third-down denied Salsa Man – as the ‘Boys would all night long – surrendering only three points. Rex Ryan’s brother was indeed stoked and so too were the legions of Cowboys fans as the cameras picked up the expletives from his pie-hole.

The Giants don’t even have cheerleaders!

Tony Romo settled in to throw for chunks of yardage at an alarming efficiency rate which at game’s end reached over 300 yards and looked like a mile from my vantage point. There are problems in the Jints secondary and while Dallas has heavy money looking well spent on DB’s the difference is obvious. Claiborne and Carr hounded Nicks and Cruz and whoever the hell else was out there while my receiving core ran around like it was grade school field day.

The Cowboys simply out-gained, out-muscled, and outplayed the defending Super Bowl Champs in every facet of the game. DeMarco Murray delivered blows while running violently into Big Blue defenders leaving them in wake on his way to 130 yards churned on the ground. It was far from a thing of beauty for Dallas as a troubling amount of penalties dictates. The G-Men hung around despite four consecutive Cowboys drives resulting in their 24 points scored featuring the new Jerry Rice – Kevin Oglethorpe… I mean Ogletree.

It was the Dallas defense harassing the QB on this night and, on one pass attempt intended for Domenik Hixon, it looked like Eli Manning may have spent too much time making commercials over the off-season. All said and done and as a Dallas Cowboys fan, it’s always nice beating the New York Giants. Cowboys 24, Giants 17…it wasn’t as close as the score indicates people.

NOTE: This was a “Special Edition” post… Please see Different Matt’s regular turn in the rotation today:  Giants, Jets, Yanks & Mets Stinking Up The Joint

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About Cheesy Bruin 491 Articles
A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.